In Arthur's Head, S5
by AJsRandom
Summary: A series of stories from series/season 5 that I've remodeled to see Arthur's POV. Ch. 1- 5.1, Ch. 2- 5.2, Ch. 3- 5.3, Ch.4- 5.4, Ch. 5- 5.5, Ch. 6- 5.6, Ch.7- 5.9, Ch. 8- 5.11, Ch. 9- 5.12, and Ch. 10- 5.13. I'm sticking to the storyline, just adding Arthur's spin on it. I hope you have as much fun with this as I did! (My summary stinks, please do R&R)
1. Chapter 1

**At last I've made it to S5. Whee! It's my least favorite season, but not because of the writing or acting- those were brilliant. Maybe because it's so necessarily dark or that we didn't get a Golden Age, magic returned _or_ Merlin at the Round Table. But I digress. Here's Arthur's perspective on 5.1, _Arthur's Bane_.**

* * *

It's time for a Round Table meeting, and Guinevere is nowhere to be found. She promised to meet me here, at this time. After waiting for ten minutes, I sent Merlin to search everywhere she might be. And that meant, literally, _everywhere_. She is the peoples' Queen, always putting them before herself. Fifteen minutes after he left, he ran back to me.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

Still trying to catch his breath, he said, "I've looked all over."

"Merlin, I'm not the only one you're keeping waiting." I'm trying to keep my voice low.

"And it's _my_ fault!?" He doesn't understand transference of blame to soothe negative emotions.

"The Queen can't simply vanish."_ Starting to lose my last shred of patience_.

"Then where is she?" _That's a stupid question!_

"That's what I told _you_ to figure out!" _Patience gone_.

"Do you know how large this palace is?" _He's_ incensed?

"Insanely enough, I do."

"Then maybe _you_ should take a look." _Seriously?_

Starting to get a headache now. "Merlin, are you actually capable of doing _anything_?"

"Tolerating you." _I asked for that_.

"Oh, well . . ."

From behind me, I heard an "Ahem." I looked up to see Guinevere descending the stairs, her maidservant, Sefa, following.

"Guinevere," I said, nearly forgetting my irritation.

"I apologize for my lateness," she said. Ah, she's never late; everyone else is just early.

"Late? Not a bit. Lots of time." I gave Merlin a look, letting him off the hook. I'm sure he wanted to roll his eyes, but wouldn't with Guinevere there. We walked into the throne room side by side, Merlin and Sefa behind us.

Once everyone was seated, I began the meeting. It would not be a pleasant one. "Noble Knights of Camelot, fellow citizens, friends. I welcome you to this gathering of the Round Table. We have been granted peace and prosperity for three long years. But now, it appears a dark cloud has spread across our lands. Sir Gwaine left for Ismere about six weeks ago. Three score of our best men went with him. No word has come from them since. At my behest, Sir Elyan headed a patrol to the wastelands in the north. He didn't find any trace of Gwaine or his men. It's as if they've disappeared off the face of the Earth."

Every face in the room was grim. I knew what _I_ wanted to do, but several people would object. They'd be right to do so—after so many years of peace, whispers had begun to drift across the land. And they did not bring good news. After a good bit of debate, I dismissed the larger group and pulled my Privy Council into another room.

It was much quieter (and solemn) without Gwaine and Percival. Elyan spoke first, since he'd led the group to find them. Pointing to the map laid on the table, he began. "We saw that Gwaine and his men crossed the gap, here, at Isulfor. But after that, there was no trace. The trail went cold."

"What about this rumor that the fortress of Ismere has been inhabited again?" I asked. It was a chilling rumor, and not because Ismere was in the north and it was winter.

Elyan straightened. "I heard several rumors, Sire. Every one of them had a single name in common . . . Morgana." I think everyone in the room felt _that_ chill.

"So we haven't any time to waste."

"But if the rumors are valid, Sire, you could be walking into a trap," Gaius stated.

"Knights of Camelot do not forsake their own," I reminded him.

"Morgana will be waiting for you. She knows that."

"Those men have fought for me, bled for me . . ."

Guinevere spoke up. "May I suggest something? Why don't you take a different route? Come at Ismere from the west."

She often surprised me with her tactical insight. "Through Caerleon?"

"That would definitely surprise Morgana," Gaius commented.

I turned to Leon. "Would Annis grant safe passage to so many armed men?"

"I believe she would, Sire," Leon replied.

I thought for a moment. "Send a messenger immediately. We'll follow at first light. Remember, if we want to succeed, nobody can know of our goal." Everyone nodded and Merlin opened the door so we could leave the room.

After a moment, there was a loud clatter from the corridor and we all smiled. As I left the room I saw Merlin and Sefa on the floor picking up fruit. He must have bumped into her on his way out. When I thought he'd had enough time with the girl I yelled, "Merlin!" _Ugh, would he never learn?_ "_MERLIN!_" I yelled louder. _What would it take?_

xxxXxxx

We actually _were_ ready to depart Camelot at dawn. _That_ was a rare occurrence. After we'd been in the forest for a while, we slowed down so the foot soldiers could catch up. Merlin had worked his way up to ride next to me; I could tell he had something on his mind. After a minute, he came out with it: "Do you honestly believe Gwaine and Percival are still alive?"

That same thought had been plaguing me for almost a day. "I need to find out. They're Knights of the Round Table. It's a bond we cherish."

"I understand."

He seemed pretty down. _Gwaine is a good friend of his, dollop head_. So I employed my usual tactic to cheer him up. "If _you_ had vanished, Merlin, I wouldn't go to the trouble."

He seemed to pick up a bit after that, but not enough to insult me back. _Yeesh_. I hoped he wasn't going to be like this the entire trip. Things were depressing enough already.

We kept riding toward Caerleon until late afternoon. A few of us rode ahead to the top of a rise to look ahead of us. "The gorge indicates the border of Annis' lands," I commented.

"It's major ambush country," Elyan added.

I agreed. "Take a couple men and ride along the ridge line," I told him, pointing. He left and the rest of us rode down the hill and into the gorge. We'd gone part way down the road into the gorge when Elyan and his group returned.

"We found something you should see," he said when he got close enough. I spurred my horse on faster, everyone behind me following suit.

Elyan led us to an abandoned village. Abandoned by the living, anyway. We dismounted and walked through the place, wordlessly splitting off to find survivors. People lay everywhere, looking as if they'd been trying to escape—spilled baskets laid next to them. I grew more and more disgusted the longer we stayed. This wasn't my kingdom, but no one deserved to be senselessly slaughtered like this.

After a while, we congregated in the center of the village. I looked around and noticed someone missing. Then again, he was _usually_ missing. "Has anyone seen Merlin?"

Leon looked a little uneasy. "I saw him go into one of those cave openings." He pointed to the wall of the gorge closest to us.

"Great," I muttered and made my way over to the one Leon had indicated. It was quite dark inside, but there was Merlin staring into a pool of water. It looked like he'd been talking to the injured man next to him.

"Is he alive?" I asked him. He looked up at me surprised and _distressed_? That concerned me, and I started walking toward him. "What is it?" He looked back down at the water then shook his head. "Really, Merlin—you've seen a corpse before. After we've provided these people a decent burial, we're leaving." He still looked saddened, but followed me after I'd left.

The soldiers were gathering the bodies in a place well away from the dwellings. Others gathered wood. No one spoke much as we worked; there really wasn't a need. When the victims were all together, several pyres were built and lit. We stayed and watched for a few minutes until all the bodies were lit. Finally we climbed on our horses and rode off. We wouldn't get far before dark, but we all wanted to get away from this place of death.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, we packed up quickly to continue our journey to Caerleon's capital city. It took just a few hours but the overcast sky and chill of the season didn't help the somber mood. By the time we arrived, we were all ready for food and warm beds.

We were greeted in the palace's courtyard and escorted inside where the Queen was waiting. "Queen Annis," I greeted when I saw her.

She stood and said, "Arthur Pendragon."

"I'm very thankful that you've permitted us safe travel through your kingdom." I bowed my head in respect.

She walked over to us. "We _are_ allies, Arthur, and these are difficult times," she said, and led us to her dining hall with a grand sweep of her arm.

We entered to find a table set and laden with a variety of foods. It looked wonderful. We were all escorted to seats and sat down gratefully. Merlin took his usual place behind me.

Once we began eating, Annis began a conversation. "What you observed at Asgorath is not surprising. A few months ago, Saxons started attacking our villages. They're collecting all the men they can and hauling them to Ismere."

_Just men?_ That meant one thing. "To build an army?" I asked.

"Some say Morgana is tearing the keep apart."

_Not an army then_. "Why?"

"She seems to be looking for something. I don't dare imagine what."

Manpower to search? "So my men could still be alive?"

"Yes. There is a good possibility." Just then Merlin appeared at my left to refill our cups. Annis looked up at him and a sly smile crept onto her face. "I believe we're ready for some amusement. I would _love_ to watch your fool perform. With all his faults, he should have _some_ skills."

I looked up at him. "You'd assume so, wouldn't you?" To Merlin I said, "You heard the Queen—hop to it."

He bent down to whisper, "I'm not a fool."

"That's arguable." Leon, who'd heard, laughed quietly.

"And I have no skills!"

Now he was just trying to get out of it. I'm going to _enjoy_ this. "I realize that. But we can't say no to the Queen when she's permitted us safe travel, can we?" I started clapping and it was picked up by several others. So now he'd look like a fool if he _didn't_ do anything.

He gave me a look that was supposed to be threatening, but wasn't. Then he straightened and acknowledged the crowd with a smile. He turned his back briefly then walked to the end of the table where there was more space. Next he started the most _amazing_ thing I'd ever seen him do; he juggled with one egg and progressed to three. After he threw one and caught it behind his back (_What?!_), he showed us four eggs. He juggled those before catching them and putting his hands behind his back. When he brought his hands back around, the eggs were gone. The crowd gasped and clapped enthusiastically while he turned 'round to prove they had vanished.

I had the feeling there was a rather bewildered look on my face, because I couldn't believe what he'd just done. He was _way_ too uncoordinated to master something like that. Not to mention I didn't give him enough _time_ to master something like that.

Later that night, we were escorted to comfortable chambers in Annis's castle. Merlin brought in our things and helped me take off my armor. When he was done he sat and stared at the fire; I sat on the bed to remove my boots. Normally he'd be chatting up a storm about now, but tonight he seemed too somber. I guess it was up to me to pick up the slack.

"When did you become skilled at juggling? Frankly, I didn't even know you could catch," I stated.

"Yes, I have many talents. You've just never noticed them, that's all," he replied. That sounded _way_ too bitter for him. Something was _definitely_ not right.

"So tell me. What's the matter?"

There was a pause. I looked up to see he'd turned toward me. "I don't think we should go to Ismere."

_What?_ "Didn't you hear Annis? My men are _alive_."

"You can't be sure of that."

_Why was he trying to talk me out of this?_ "Just keep juggling, Merlin. Let me handle the important things."

"But . . ."

"Here." I threw my boots at him. They went right through his hands and to the floor. "Now explain that."

"I wish I could." I flopped back onto the bed while he went back to brooding. This was going to be a long night, unless I went to bed right away. _Where did cheerful Merlin go?_

xxxXxxx

Merlin seemed a bit livelier in the morning. He talked a bit more, at least. After a nice, hot breakfast, Annis walked with me to the courtyard. The men mounted up and rode out; I walked with her out the gate. I was putting off the saddle for as long as I could.

"Morgana has been consumed by hate," she told me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Be cautious."

"I will," I said.

"Decent allies are difficult to find. I don't want to lose one." I nodded; I totally agreed with her.

It was harder than I thought it would be to leave the warmth and shelter of Caerleon. But I needed to find my men—they wouldn't give up on me and I would never give up on them.

It got colder the further north we rode. So everyone was relieved when we stopped for the night so they could bundle up in blankets and sit by the fire. Merlin made dinner and disappeared, not taking any food with him. Sadly, I didn't notice this until I was sitting comfortably at the fire eating and enjoying the fun around me. I glanced around the fire and noticed Merlin was missing, again. I saw a shadow sitting by the stream we'd set up next to. I guessed that he must still be upset.

I got up and walked over to him. "Merlin," I said when I was closer.

I stood next to him but sat when he started speaking. "How can they laugh and tease?" he asked. He sounded so despondent.

"Hmm?"

"Don't they realize what we'll find in Ismere?"

"Yeah, sure," I admitted, "but a soldier learns to savor every day as it happens." _He knows this_.

"Since he knows it could be his last."

I analyzed him for a moment; I wasn't used to this role reversal. "How come you're so worried?"

"Morgana is strong. She's deadly." _I've never seen him scared like this_.

"I know."

I must have sounded dismissive to him. "Don't you care?"

"Just about my men. They're more than friends or brothers. Regardless of what lies before me . . . I won't forsake them, as I know they would not forsake me."

"I understand. I don't want to, but I do." Something I said must have reassured him.

"Come have some dinner." I got up to walk back to the fire. Thankfully, he followed me; I don't think I'd have to worry about his depression anymore.

Our group took a bit more time getting ready to go in the morning. The increased cold made everyone more sluggish, I guess. Then we heard a horse neigh in the distance—ours were much closer. Most of us turned to look and drew our swords. We gazed through the mist and saw backlit figures stalking toward us.

"We're surrounded," Merlin said as he walked toward me.

"We cannot remain here," Leon added. We're on a hillside at a tactical disadvantage.

Just then I looked up and saw Morgana riding toward us. "Run!" I yelled as loudly as I could.

Everyone scattered, but there were Saxons everywhere, so we were forced to stand our ground. Soon every man was engaged by at least one foe. I heard Leon yell in pain and turned to see him fighting a man in black. He kicked Leon down and I ran uphill to help him, defeating three Saxons on the way. I engaged Leon's opponent and disarmed him. I turned to fight two other warriors when a blow to my back made me gasp and fall to the ground, stunned. Suddenly Merlin was there, lifting me and trying to drag me away. I dimly noticed Elyan take on the mystery warrior.

Merlin ran pretty quickly, especially considering he was lugging me. I heard horses behind us and he paused to look. A few seconds later I felt myself lowered against something hard- _a tree?_ -and Merlin drew back. Then he was there again, picking me up and dragging me away again.

When I came back to my senses, I was lying on the ground, which was damp. _Great_. I also seemed to have lost my short-term memory. I lamented this unfortunate circumstance by groaning. When I finally looked up, I saw Merlin sitting in front of me and staring. _Now I _know_ something's wrong_.

"What happened?" I asked him. _Ugh_; _I hurt too_.

"You can't remember?" he replied.

_Hmm, we're alone_. "Where's everyone else? Leon? Elyan?"

"I couldn't do anything. I needed to get you to safety."

I had to chuckle at this. "What _really_ happened?"

"The usual—I saved your ass."

_Oh that's a good one_. "You saved me?"

"Yes. _And_ I can juggle. I've told you, I have _many_ talents." At first I thought he was trying to joke, but it came out rather bitter. He extended a hand to pull me up.

I decided to humor him. "So it seems."

"Let's go," he ordered. With that we started walking—toward Ismere, but I didn't tell _him_ that.

xxxXxxx

We'd been walking for quite a while and the landscape just kept getting bleaker and bleaker. But we'd lost enough time, and now I had even _more_ men to rescue. It seemed Merlin was quickly losing patience though. I don't blame him—it's cold.

"Could we rest a moment?" he asked.

"Only if it's short. I would like to make Ismere before dark."

"_Ismere?_ We're going _back_ to Camelot!" _Aaaand there goes his patience_.

"Navigation isn't your strong point, is it? Camelot is south. The sun comes up where?"

"The east."

"So what have we been walking toward all day long?"

"Our demise! Just the two of us facing Morgana, are you mad!?" He didn't appreciate my orienteering lesson.

"I told you—I _will_ save my men." I didn't correct the "mad" insinuation. He _could_ be right.

"No." He reached out and pulled me to a stop. Then he didn't say anything.

"If you're frightened . . . then go." He actually looked more concerned than scared.

"I'm concerned about you." _Obviously_.

I was touched, in an annoyed way. "Okay, so, I've tried to send you home. But if you won't do as I ask, the _least_ you can do is shut up." To my surprise, he didn't argue. I started walking again, but he didn't move; I stopped to say, "Come on!"

I'd resumed walking when he said, "Hmm, maybe if Morgana doesn't kill you, I will." _I'd finally gotten to him, good_.

I could work with this. "Threatening a King is treason, Merlin."

"How about threatening an ass?" I heard behind me. _Good one_.

"I heard that!"

We didn't make my goal of reaching Ismere by nightfall, and I wasn't sure how close we were. So we had to take refuge in the forest, bunking down in a sheltered area on the side of a hill, back to back.

"Arthur?" he asked.

I'd been nearly asleep. "Mmm."

"I have to tell you something. The man . . . The old man in the village . . ." _Was this about the odd daydream he'd apparently experienced there?_

"Just imagine something else, Merlin."

"No. You _have_ to listen to me. Before he died . . . he warned me . . . He said that you were in danger and that the danger was near."

He seemed serious, but . . . "He was dying, Merlin. Who could decipher what he was saying?"

"I believe he was a Druid seer_._"_ And that makes it more important?_

"You think I'd listen to a sorcerer?"

"But why would say that? He had no idea that I actually knew you." He turned part way over. "We need to go home." He moved to sit up; he's _very_ serious.

"I can't. Even if he spoke the truth, it changes nothing."

"Arthur, Camelot is nothing without you. Everything we've worked so hard to build. It will all be gone."

I turned around to lie on my elbows. He wasn't going to let this go. "Regardless of what challenges we run into, we hold to what is right. To betray our beliefs, Merlin, that's what would ruin everything we've worked for. I vow to rescue my men . . . or die trying."

That seemed to get through. "Then I vow I will protect you or die at your side." _Of course you do_. I jabbed him in the shoulder before turning over to lie on my side again. After a moment, he did the same.

We must have fallen asleep despite the cold, because I was woken by a familiar sound above us—hoof beats. Merlin woke a few seconds later and inhaled to speak, but I put a hand over his mouth. I didn't know if they were friend or foe, but I had my suspicions. Then a horribly familiar voice rang through the air:

"What are you waiting for—_find them!_ I don't care how long it takes." _Morgana_. Sometimes I really hated being right. After a few minutes, they moved on.

We waited several more minutes before moving, just to be sure Morgana and her men were good and gone. Then we got up and started walking again. At least we had these lovely dormant trees to break up the scenery a bit.

A bit later I got tired of the silence. "If we just had a horse."

"Or a pig," Merlin commented. _Now I knew where his mind was_.

"You can't ride a pig!"

"No, but we could roast it with apples, carrots and parsnips." Impractical, but tasty.

He was starting to ramble like Guinevere used to. "Merlin."

"You're right, we shouldn't misuse the apples; we'll bake them in a pie." He mistook my reprimand, probably on purpose.

"Come off it."

"I need to eat something." Then, as if by, well, magic, "food" appeared on the ground in front of us. _This was too good to be true_. "Rabbits!" he said cheerily and walked over to the two dead rabbits.

As he bent down to grab them, I finally realized what was bothering me about this scenario—it's a trap. "Merlin!" I yelled, and lunged to try and pull him back. It was a futile effort—both of us were trapped in a net hanging in the air. I suddenly wished I hadn't tried to stop him, because then I could have stayed outside it and saved him.

I was furious, but he didn't seem to care. "I have them!" _Stupid rabbits_.

We tried several times to move around in the close confines of the net. It got tiring pretty quickly, so we took to shifting around for a bit then resting. That got us a whole lot of nowhere. We kept it up though, even after night fell.

Suddenly a new idea came to me; I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it earlier. _Must be the hunger_. "If I could reach my sword . . . we could cut the rope," I said. I shifted around a bit more.

"_Oh!_ Don't set your knee there," Merlin replied, sounding a bit anxious.

"Where?" I had to move my knee someplace, and "there" isn't specific enough in this situation.

My knee touched something soft. _Oh_. "There! _Arrgh!_"

After a few more painful and frustrated grunts and groans, the sword dropped to the ground. "_MERLIN! Dammit!_" I was _way_ past furious now; so much that I couldn't speak.

"It was your fault." _What?!_

"_You! You!_" That's all I could manage. _The audacity!_

"It was your fault!" _Seriously?!_

"_Ahh!_ . . . Great. Just great." Now we were even more twisted up _and the sword is gone!_

"Where'd the other rabbit go?" _AHHHHH! Stupid . . . rabbits!_

I don't know how we managed it, but we'd somehow fallen asleep, only to be woken by a sudden falling sensation. Unlike what happens sometimes when one is just falling asleep, this was real. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back on the ground, Merlin partially on top of me. We couldn't help but yell at the indignity. And the sudden stop.

As we lay there groaning, a man came from behind the tree. "I apologize. Did we wake you?" I rolled over to grab my sword, but the man stepped on it. "No you don't." He picked up my sword and chuckled. "The King of Camelot. You'll bring a considerable price." He pointed the sword at me. "Alive _or_ dead. Any last wishes?"

By now we'd partially sat up. "Release my servant. He shouldn't die like this," I stated. I could feel Merlin looking at me. The creepy man laughed and stood while a couple of his thugs yanked Merlin up and started walking him away.

Of course Merlin chose then to open his _big_ mouth. "If you want to kill him, you'll have to go through me first." He managed to free himself from their hold though.

"Merlin! Stand down," I ordered him. _Like he would listen_.

He didn't even look at me. "You know I never do as I'm told." The creepy guy moved toward him as I tried to get up.

"Stop!" a voice yelled from behind us. Merlin turned to look and he froze with an apprehensive look on his face. Footsteps approached; they belonged to a young man with dark, curly hair. "Shouldn't we let the Lady Morgana decide their future?"

The man who'd spoken first reluctantly agreed. He chuckled and walked away. The young man came over and helped me to my feet. Merlin stared at him with disbelief and mistrust; I didn't understand why. _Who was this mystery man?_ To me he said, "You don't recall me, do you? You saved my life once, several years back."

"Mordred," Merlin said behind us. We turned to look at him.

_Mordred_ looked back at me. "Hello, Arthur."

* * *

**Was anyone else creeped out by the way Mordred said that last line? Ominous much? _He he he_, no foreshadowing going on here, no way. *evil laugh* Part 2 up soon. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Arthur's Bane, Part 2_ (5.2). Enjoy!**

* * *

Rather quickly, we found ourselves surrounded and led to where more thugs were guarding a bunch of men, horses and a wagon. _This must have been what Annis was talking about_. That made them slavers; _how had Mordred ended up here?_ We were tied to the back of their wagon and forced to walk behind it as the caravan got moving again.

After we'd walked for a while, I felt annoyed enough to pick a fight. "Tell me again, Merlin—how'd we wind up like this? Oh, yeah. You were thinking with your stomach, naturally. I warned you it was a trap."

"And I warned you to return to Camelot," he said angrily, still looking straight ahead. At Mordred.

"Merlin . . ."

"Stop!" one of the Saxons yelled. The little man who'd caught us—the leader. He dismounted and walked back to us.

Merlin spoke quickly. "We can't allow them take us to Morgana. We have to get away from here. We must make a plan."

Then the leader was there and punched me in the stomach; I doubled over in pain. "Speak only when you're spoken to!" he said viciously. "Faster!" he yelled at the driver and mounted. Merlin helped me stand and we were yanked forward, nearly running in order to avoid being dragged.

We were all relieved when the caravan stopped for the night, although our hands were still bound. They didn't give us food, blankets or light a fire for us. We were left to curl up on the ground to rest as well as we could. When I lay down, Merlin was still sitting up, staring at Mordred. It looked like he'd stay that way the entire night.

When I woke in the morning, Merlin was over to me in an instant. He handed me a large chunk of bread and told me to eat it quickly without being seen. He told me Mordred had given it to him.

Soon one of the slavers came back to kick anyone who wasn't awake yet. They still didn't hand out any food, but secured us to the wagon again while they ate. After they were all ready, we started walking again. I was getting awfully tired of walking, but the bread had given me enough energy to think.

I conversed quietly with Merlin, so they wouldn't hear us. We came up with a plan that would probably have to be carried out in two steps. After the day had worn on a bit more, we put it into action. I fell to my knees then forward to my face. _Ouch_.

"Hey, stop!" Merlin yelled. I heard someone approaching; a cue for Merlin to say, "He needs water."

A kick to my side. _Ow!_ "Stand up!" _The leader, great_. I rolled and he yanked me up by my head. I tried to look faint—it wasn't hard, considering. "Not such a heroic warrior now, are you?" he spat.

"Here. I'll help him." He allowed Merlin to "help" me. I'd filched his dagger while I was bent over and winked at Merlin as I stood. Step one was completed. We started walking again; I cut our bonds.

Not too long later, while we were still in a small, snowy gorge, we looked at each other. It was time to begin the next, and hopefully last, step. Merlin leaped forward and pulled the wagon's tailgate down. The group ahead of us immediately halted at the noise.

The leader rode back and yelled, "Who did this? _Who?!_" Merlin stood to my left; I caught the leader's eye and tilted my head toward my servant.

"We have to rest," Merlin said resolutely. He wasn't acting.

The leader dismounted and walked over to us. "Sure, you can rest," he drew his sword, "forever!"

I smashed him upside the head with my "bound" hands. His sword went flying and he collapsed. I turned and threw the dagger at another slaver. A third slaver's horse reared up on him. I dived to the back of the wagon where our weapons were held. I tossed an axe which Merlin miraculously caught. I took a sword and slashed a couple times at the slaver who'd crept behind me. I turned back to grab a crossbow and bolts. I handed the latter to Merlin and we ran away from the caravan.

We ran over a rise and up a small slope before skidding to a stop in front of a crevice. It looked small enough to jump across safely. I tossed the bow and bolts over and turned to Merlin. He read what I was thinking before I could speak. He gave me that "you're insane" look and said, "You must be joking . . ."

"You have a better idea?" I backed up as much as I could then ran and leapt off a ledge of the crevice. I made it to a ledge on the other side and ducked behind some rocks. Then I looked back to see a slaver charging up the slope. Merlin backed up, still hesitant. "We don't have all day, Merlin!"

He ran and launched himself off the ledge, and landed on the edge of the ledge. He slipped down; I jumped over to help him up. I dragged him over to where I'd taken cover. By that time, not one but two slavers had made it up the slope. I grabbed the crossbow and loaded it quickly. One man was at the ledge; I shot him down. The other leapt over the crevice and I shot him as he landed.

Merlin jumped up and said, "I'll ensure they can't get over." He ran to the ledge and started hacking at it with his axe.

"Merlin!" I yelled. Because that was a _stupid_ idea, but typically _Merlin_.

I couldn't get up to stop him; another slaver was running up the slope. I reloaded the crossbow and aimed it at the third man, shooting him down before he could cross. Merlin kept hacking at the ice while I ducked down to reload the crossbow. I heard Merlin pause then give one heavy blow. The ledge broke and fell. I looked up to see Mordred on the other side. I aimed the crossbow at him while he scanned for another way to cross. Finding none, he stopped and just stared at us for a few moments. I lowered the crossbow and Mordred began to back away.

Merlin looked at me like I was insane again. "Why did you let him go?!" _Where was his mercy?_

"He had no way to follow us." I thought that was obvious.

"He was driving us to our deaths," he yelled. He _yelled_?

"He showed us mercy." I tried to stay calm.

"You should've killed him!" He yelled again; I _had_ to say something.

"What's the matter with you?" I was incredulous—I can count on one hand the times he's yelled. Besides, this is the man who got upset about killing defenseless animals

He glanced back briefly. "You had the opportunity!" At least he'd lowered his voice a bit.

"We got away, didn't we?" He should be ecstatic.

"We may not be so fortunate next time." _Nowhere near ecstatic_.

"I _love_ your optimism. Anyway, we have to keep going." I grabbed his shoulder to get him going again. Luckily that's all it took to get him running. They might regroup and come after us.

We ran until we were sure they were far behind us. Then we walked until Ismere's tower rose black in the distance. Much to Merlin's annoyance, it had begun to snow. It wasn't long until we'd reached the dreadful thing; he looked at it with deep apprehension. I noticed.

"You know, Merlin—appearances can be deceiving."

"Not this time," he replied.

We hid under cover to plan our next move. A short time later, the slavers' caravan arrived, Mordred walking near the front. _Now Merlin would say something critical about him_.

Sure enough, he said, "I warned you—you should've killed him while you had the opportunity. We'll never make it in there." _What unflinching pessimism; it wouldn't bring _me_ down_.

"Where there's a will, Merlin," I told him. He looked back at me, disbelieving. I just grinned.

We circled the keep, ducking behind boulders to keep hidden. All castles had a few features in common, and I discovered one that would get us inside. It would be messy and Merlin would hate it, but it would work. His comfort was the least of my concerns, but I still had to do a fair bit of convincing. At nightfall, we crept toward the entrance I'd pinpointed and began crawling up the incline of the keep's food disposal tunnel.

"Why'd I let you talk me into this?" he asked when we were about halfway up. Ironically, food was dumped right in front of him at that moment. He narrowly avoided most of it and glared back at me.

"It's genius, Merlin . . ." I told him.

"Genius," he said with contempt.

To add insult to injury, I pointed and said, "You have a little, um . . . carrot in your hair." He frantically brushed at his hair. "Least I think it's carrot." He threw a handful of food waste at me then made gagging noises, but resumed crawling.

We reached the end and crawled off into a connecting tunnel. Merlin began brushing food bits off himself. I found a hole in the wall and looked down to see several shirtless men and a few Saxons. The Saxons were directing the men to load rocks into a cart situated on a track.

When Merlin caught up to me, I asked him, "All set?"

"For what?" he asked with trepidation. He looked down.

"Our carriage awaits." I got up and began looking for a way down to the men below. When no one was looking, we crept into the cart and covered ourselves with a cloth. We were pushed down the track, hopefully to an area where my men were working. The cart came to a sudden halt and I heard a guard say, "Move it!"

We waited a few moments and crawled out of the cart. There was _definitely_ work happening here. We ran from cover to cover until we reached a window of sorts that looked down onto a lower level.

"The place is full of Saxons," Merlin commented.

"Then we'd better take care to blend in," I replied, then ducked away. We needed a couple of Saxons to strip.

"Arthur!" he yelled indignantly behind me.

I took down a couple of isolated Saxon guards easily. Their clothes reeked, but they'd allow us to blend in. We made our way down to the lower level, acting like we owned the place. All the slaves kept to their work, so no one noticed my identity. After a bit of strutting around, I spotted Percival pushing a cart. I grabbed his arm and he whirled around like he wanted to deck me.

"Arthur!" he said, surprised to see me.

"Did you honestly believe we'd leave you here? Where's everyone else?" I asked.

He looked around. "They're . . . scattered all over."

_Not_ good news. "Gwaine?"

"Saw him one or two days back, but . . ." _He was missing_.

I put my sword in the cart he'd been pushing. "Use it to acquire a few more."

"Arthur," Merlin said in warning. Percival and I looked up to see a real Saxon.

"Work on freeing the others, we'll find Gwaine." I'd grabbed Percival's arm and he yanked it away, to keep up our act. Merlin and I strode away in the opposite direction. I grabbed a torch and we began searching the entrances to other tunnels. I chose one and we went inside.

We crept around through the natural tunnels, not shying away from Saxon guards. We'd gone quite a ways when we rounded a corner. Someone jumped out at us with a "RAAHHH!" _Gwaine, at last_. I caught the torch he was using as a club and yanked on him.

"Trust you to not be working," I commented.

"It's about time!" he retorted. He grinned at me as Merlin pushed around me to get a look at something in front of us. I turned to look also, and saw something . . . unusual. It was human-shaped, but with a bigger head and longer limbs. When it stood, it was tall and thin. And most eerie—it _glowed_. Gwaine seemed familiar with it; he said to it, "Friends. Good friends." It looked at us curiously for a few minutes before running and disappearing behind a rock wall.

"What was that?" I asked. The other two didn't seem _nearly_ as freaked out as I was.

"I'm not really certain. But I owe it my life," Gwaine replied. Merlin glanced back at us, then back to where the creature had disappeared. After a couple more minutes, he seemed to come back to his senses and we began navigating back to the cave's opening.

On our way, Merlin had paused to look at something, then hurried back to us. "Something's not right. The Saxons—where did they all go?"

He's worried about the stupid _Saxons_? "First there are loads of them, now there aren't enough. Are you ever content?" Gwaine and I kept walking.

Merlin ran up to us again. "What was that?"

_Maybe he's going loopy from being underground? _That happens to some people. "What?"

"Feel the wind," he said. A very warm breeze blew in our faces. It was followed by an inhuman growl.

"That wasn't wind," Gwaine said unnecessarily. Merlin flinched; I pulled him backwards and tossed the torch down. I saw something white and scaly run toward us while the growling got louder. I threw an arm around Gwaine and hauled him back the way we'd come. Merlin found a natural alcove and pulled us so we fell inside it. The dragon ran past us quickly, breathing fire as it went. We struggled up and stared after it in shock. "Was that what I think it was?" Gwaine managed.

"Where did Morgana find a _dragon_?" I'm not sure I could take any more surprises today.

"I've no clue," Merlin said. He seemed distracted, but turned back to me. "Take Gwaine to Percival. I'll lead the dragon another way."

_Oh-kay. Surprise!_ "Merlin, I realize you're foolish, but not that foolish." I looked at Gwaine for help.

"No, I actually am that foolish and if you don't accept that, watch . . ." He took off down the tunnel before I could grab him.

"Merlin!" I yelled futilely. To Gwaine I said, "I'm following him," then got up to give chase.

He'd gotten further than I thought he had. I took a few turns and called out: "Merlin!" I heard growling and other unnerving noises and called out again, "Merlin! Merlin?" I took a few more steps and emerged into a bigger, well-lit space with multiple tunnels leading off from it. I paused when I heard a deadly familiar voice behind me.

"How nice of you to spare me the hassle of finding you." I attempted to reach for my sword, which wasn't there. "Dear me, how careless of you. Your courage is equaled only by your idiocy." I could practically hear the smirk in her voice. "What did you possibly imagine you would accomplish by coming here?"

Finally I turned to face her. To my surprise, Mordred stood behind her. "I'm here to rescue my men." I controlled my expression—I didn't need her taking advantage of my emotions.

"_Fleoge_ . . ." One word and a dagger floated in front of me only to stab into my shoulder. _Ahhh!_ I fell to the ground, curled up. "It appears there truly is no way out this time."

"I'm sorry for how our father treated you," I managed to gasp out. _He made her into _this.

"Uther was _never_ my father." I apologized and _that's_ what she focused on?

"But we're brother and sister." I began using the rocks behind me to climb upward.

"Interesting how you decide to remember that with my dagger at your back." _Wonderful_.

I finally made it to standing, and turned to face her. _Floating dagger, how nice_. "What happened to you, Morgana? When you were young, you were so thoughtful, so caring . . ."

"I grew up." I watched her eyes flash gold again and the dagger stabbed me a second time. I fell back into the rock wall and tried not to pass out. "You are wise to tremble at my hand. I am more powerful than you can conceive of."

"But with all that, you decide to do nothing but hate."

She gave me a vicious smile. "Uther trained me perfectly. Goodbye, Arthur Pendragon."

"Arthur!" I heard Merlin yell; all three of us turned to look. _No, not Merlin!_ Mordred drew a dagger as Merlin ran into our little conflict.

"No!" I yelled. She didn't even speak a word and he was thrown into a wall. He slid down and didn't get up. "Morgana . . . Please . . ." Another flash of her eyes and my head collided with the rock next to me. _Oh, the pain_ . . . I barely heard her next words.

"Don't talk, dear brother. Time's up." She came very close and I waited for the end. "_Hine _. . . Mordred?" The next thing I knew, I was being helped to my feet by someone . . . _Merlin?_ No, he was passed out on the floor, like Morgana. _Morgana?_ That left Mordred.

He half-carried half-dragged me through a few tunnels until we came to one that was brighter and stopped. I looked up and heard someone say, "Arthur . . ." _Was that Percival?_ He came over and took me from Mordred, who looked kind of afraid of the group of armed knights. Gwaine gave him a look but left him alone. Mordred followed us out.

By the time all of my men had been gathered, Merlin had caught up to us. I was glad to see he wasn't hurt—visibly, at least. I sent a couple of men to look for Morgana, but she'd disappeared. All the Saxons had fled as well, so we took a few hours to rest and locate food. After a night of sleep, enough clothing was scrounged up so no one would freeze on the journey back to Camelot. Mordred shared how he'd stabbed Morgana, so I invited him to come back to Camelot with us. I had a rather unique reward in mind for him.

xxxXxxx

I talked my decision over with the Round Table knights and the Council. Both agreed. I could tell that Merlin didn't agree, but he didn't oppose me even when I asked for his opinion—which I did more and more these days.

So two days after we returned from Ismere, the court convened in the throne room for a knighting ceremony. This one was a first; he was not only the youngest but the first former druid to be knighted during my reign.

When I called for him, he walked front and center to kneel at my feet. I didn't like giving long speeches about anything, let alone knightly virtues. I certainly didn't believe I was a paragon of them, like I used to. I simply recounted what he'd done for me and spoke the words of the ceremony.

"Arise, Sir Mordred, Knight of Camelot." He stood and smiled; I couldn't help but smile back. I prompted him to turn so the court could applaud him. He walked back down the aisle to the sound of applause, a proud new knight of quickly, we found ourselves surrounded and led to where more thugs were guarding a bunch of men, horses and a wagon. _This must have been what Annis was talking about_. That made them slavers; _how had Mordred ended up here?_ We were tied to the back of their wagon and forced to walk behind it as the caravan got moving again.

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**Next- the creepy but cool _The Death Song of Uther Pendragon_, 5.3.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I like to call this "Return of the (Demented) King." But y'all know it better as _The Death Song of Uther Pendragon_. Bit wordy, isn't it?**

**Mika27110- Yeah, there is something alluring about darker Merlin. ;) And it was surprising how little text there was in this episode. I added about 3K words of (mostly) description.**

* * *

It was late afternoon on the worst day of hunting I've _ever_ had. We caught absolutely _nothing_, all because of _Mer_lin. I swear he coughs, sneezes _et cetera_ because he wants to save the "poor helpless animals." He'll _never_ admit to that, but everyone in Camelot knows how much he _hates_ hunting. But he _insists_ on coming _every_ time for some reason _besides_ saving all animal kind. I just know it.

After a long period of silence on our ride home, he sneezed and said, "You're still upset at me, aren't you?"

"We took the whole day to hunt, but caught nothing, since every time we got anywhere close to something you sneezed and scared it away." _Unfortunately_.

"_Not_ the last time."

_But that was worse_. "No, that time you tumbled into a river. Nobody would call you predictable, Merlin."

"I feel like I'm catching a cold." _Fantastic_.

"I hope it's an awful one." After a few more silent moments, a scream rang out through the trees, some distance away. "What was that?"

"It was probably a bird," Merlin commented, making a show of looking upward. The scream rang out again, sounding more human. "That? That was obviously a woman in distress." I stopped my horse, dismounted, unsheathed my sword, and sprinted off in the direction of the scream. I heard Merlin muttering behind me, but followed soon enough.

We crouched down next to a tree and saw the houses of a village. A line of people walked toward a stake surrounded by wood. The woman screamed again, and it was now clear why. Merlin stood up and ran closer.

"What are you trying to do?" I yelled after him.

"I presume we're going to risk our lives to see what's happening." He stopped behind another tree as I got up to follow him.

"I didn't think I'd ever say this, Merlin, but you're learning." I walked past him toward the villagers; he followed.

The villagers now circled the stake. The woman, very old, was now tied to it, and a man- _village chief?_ -with a torch stood in front of her, prepared to speak. "Let the woman go," I ordered. Everyone looked at me.

"This woman has been condemned to death. This doesn't involve you," the village chief said.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, and your village is in my kingdom." That shut him up, for a moment.

"Her magic has brought illness and misery to our village."

"Was she given a fair trial?"

"Your father wouldn't have shown her any mercy."

"I am not my father. Now let her go." _People really should know that by now_.

"I won't endanger the lives of these people." He turned to light the pyre, but before he could even bend over, my sword was at his chest.

"I said . . . let her go."

The man lowered the torch and dropped it to the ground. Merlin jumped forward to stomp it out while the village chief pulled out a knife and cut the ropes holding the old woman to the stake. I planted my sword in the ground to help her down and away from the pyre. When she was safe, I turned and addressed the villagers. They were to bring any future suspects to _me_, since I couldn't trust them to judge fairly. I helped her take Merlin's arm and we slowly walked back to our horses.

We walked at her pace until night had fallen. It wasn't very far, but it was away from that village. She'd clearly been abused and didn't look long for this world. I found a spot to camp just off the road; Merlin lit a fire and made the woman comfortable while I searched for more wood.

After I'd gathered an armful of kindling, I walked back and dumped it next to the fire. "Is there anything else you can do for her?" I sat on the other side of the woman.

"She won't live through the night," he said, continuing to sponge her forehead.

"Make her as comfortable as you can." She suddenly grabbed my wrist and turned her head toward me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I put my other hand over hers. "You should rest."

"My time is near. When you've lived as long as I, you don't fear the journey to the next life." She glanced down to her other hand, which held a wrapped object. "I have a present for you. You've shown mercy and compassion. Those are the traits of a true king." She handed me the object. "Open it."

I unwrapped the object to find an ornate horn. "It's exquisite."

"It has the power to call the spirits of the dead." I looked at her, stunned. She started struggling to breathe. A minute later her eyes closed and she stopped breathing. She was gone and we had no other information about this horn other than its eerie alleged power.

We quickly dug a shallow grave for her a little ways from our camp. Then we had a bit of dinner, not talking very much. Merlin laid out our bedrolls and volunteered to take watch, but I wasn't tired yet and told him to get some rest. I picked up the horn and turned it over and over in my hands. It looked innocent enough, but I knew enough about magical objects to leave them well enough alone. At least until I knew more about it.

xxxXxxx

The trip back to Camelot was quite short. It was still morning when we walked into Gaius's chambers. I told him the story of how I'd acquired it and handed it to him so he could examine it. Merlin and I stood there with our arms crossed, listening.

"The Horn of Cathbhadh. When Uther assaulted the Isle of the Blessed, the Horn of Cathbhadh was spirited away before the temple was taken. No one has seen it since," the old physician informed us.

"The old woman mentioned its purpose is to open the door to the spirit world?" I asked.

He started walking back toward me. "I've witnessed it myself. Many years before the Great Purge, I participated in such rituals. Each year at Beltane, the High Priestesses gathered at the Great Stones of Nemeton and called for the spirits of their ancestors. It possesses powerful magic." He handed it back to me. "You need to protect it." He gave both of us stern looks before turning away to continue his work.

Merlin gave me an odd look, like he knew what I was thinking. Then I ordered him to help me unpack, prepare a bath and other usual chores. Tonight was the feast celebrating my coronation. Well, for everyone _else_ to celebrate my coronation. I wouldn't.

At the feast, I sat at the head of the table, Guinevere on my left. I was happy to see everyone else happy, really I was. But I will always associate my ascension to the throne with the death of my father. I know he wasn't perfect; I've faced the consequences of his mistakes. But he was still the only parent I'd had and I'd loved him.

After a while, Guinevere leaned over and asked if I was all right. I guess my somber mood was written all over my face. I told her I was ready to leave; the celebratory air was too much for me and I didn't want to detract from it. She wouldn't question me—she was one of the few people who knew my reason for wanting to leave.

I bent my steps down toward the crypt. My father's was in a room of its own, lit by the candles on multiple braziers. I walked around to the other side from the door and put my hand out to touch his likeness. Some days, like today, I felt _so_ lost without him. And now I apparently had the means to see him again, ask for his advice. But to meddle with magic, again . . . I just don't know.

xxxXxxx

The next day, I sat in my chambers after training. I had a few minutes to ponder the idea that had come to me in the last few hours. It would be very risky, probably more than I realized. But I really wanted to do this.

I sat at my table, turning the horn around in my hands. A knock on the door startled me; I thought quickly and threw the apples out of the bowl in front of me. I turned it over on top of the horn so it was hidden. I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide it; there couldn't be many who'd know what it was. Merlin came into the room, looking down at the now-decorated floor so he could avoid the apples.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and bent down to pick up the fruit.

"Nothing . . . Thinking," I eventually said.

"You, thinking? Okay, now I'm _definitely_ getting concerned." He brought the apples to the table.

"Shut up." He started to pick up the bowl, to put the apples away. I smacked my hand down on it before he could lift it, he jumped back a bit. "Leave it!" I ordered.

"Why?" _Really? Because I said so!_

"Because I told you to and I'm the King of Camelot, even though that seems to mean nothing to you." He _seemed_ to give up, and reached for the pitcher. I took my hand off the bowl and like a flash he reached for the bowl with both hands. But I'd put my hand on it again. "Get the horses and collect the usual supplies."

We stood at the same time. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"I'm not telling you right now." I brandished a spoon in his face. "Don't say anything to anyone about this. Not even Guinevere."

"You're intimidating me with a spoon?" He gave me a dirty look. Just for that, I hit him between the eyes with the back of the spoon. "Ow!" he howled. But he'd gotten the message and began packing my things with minimal input from me.

xxxXxxx

About midafternoon we reached the rolling plain that meant we were within a few miles of the Great Stones of Nemeton. It seemed like a peaceful area, despite the threatening weather. But of course I forgot my eternal pessimist.

"I'm having a terrible feeling about this place," Merlin offered.

"That's because you're a wimp," I replied. I didn't want to admit that his "feelings" usually turned out to be accurate.

"No. It's because I like my life and don't wish to die unpleasantly." _Can't argue with that_.

I had to concede. "Good point."

"So, we're going to turn around?" Funny how he thought my concession meant _that_.

"No."

When we got within a hundred yards or so of the stones, we dismounted and led the horses. There wasn't any place closer to tether them. "What are they?" he asked, pointing.

"The Great Stones of Nemeton." I handed him my reins and turned back to my saddlebag. I pulled out the horn and started to walk toward the Stones.

"You're going to try it?" He must have seen it in my hands.

"This is the one opportunity I have to talk to my father again. I can't let it go by." He followed me, bringing the horses with him.

"It's powerful magic."

I stopped and looked back at him. "I lost my father before his time. And every single day I think of things I wish I'd said to him. If someone gave you the opportunity to see your father again, talk with him, wouldn't you do the same?" He nodded without hesitation.

After he tied the horses to the tree, we walked over to the Stones. He stopped at the edge of the circle the giant rocks made. I walked to the center where there was a heap of stone that could have been an altar. Then I pulled the horn out of my belt and pondered what I was about to do. _Well, this wouldn't get any easier with time_. I put the horn to my lips and blew.

Nothing happened for a moment, then a bright light surrounded me, obscuring everything around me. I walked forward as a mist arose and a figure appeared. It walked toward me and I stopped, waiting. "Father."

"Arthur," he replied. My heart was beating _so_ fast.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think of you."

"And I, you." _He misses me too!_

"Sometimes when I feel alone, I want you by my side more than anything."

"If I'd been by your side, I'm afraid you wouldn't like what I have to say." _Huh?_

"I don't understand." I was _really_ confused.

"Several decisions you've made since becoming King are contrary to everything I've taught you."

_He can't really think that_. "I've done what I have thought to be right."

He started walking toward me. "You've cast aside our traditions, our earliest laws. You've permitted common men to become knights."

"They are some of the best knights that Camelot's ever seen. They would willingly sacrifice their lives for the kingdom." He looked confused, or maybe unwilling to believe.

"They challenge your decisions. They make you seem weak." He walked past me, as if going in a circle. I had to turn to keep facing him.

"Considering others' views is a mark of strength, not weakness." They helped me see different sides to issues we faced.

"How do you suppose anyone could fear a King who doesn't know his own mind?" _Fear?_

"I don't wish for my people to respect me because they fear me."

"Then they will never respect you. Your marriage should have cemented a treaty with another kingdom but you chose to marry a serving girl."

"I married for love. I love Guinevere. More than . . . I can say." I didn't come here to argue or justify my decisions to him.

"Some things are more important than love. It's your responsibility to build up and defend the kingdom. You've failed." He'd taken a step toward me.

"I've always striven to please you."

"How can I be pleased by a son who disregards all I taught him? Who is ruining my legacy?"

I shook my head; that had really hurt. "I've returned peace to the kingdom . . ."

"At what cost? The peace can't endure. If you're not strong, the kingdom will collapse." He paused for a moment—I couldn't restrain a tear. "You have to go now." He started walking back the way he'd come.

I had to turn again. "I need more time. There's still a lot I want to say." I didn't want him to leave.

"If you remain, you'll be trapped forever in the realm of the dead. You have to go now. _Go_."

Was he _trying_ to push me away? "_This_ cannot be the last time I ever see you."

"Consider all I've told you. There's still time. Now go." I reluctantly turned and began walking away. "I will love you always, Arthur," he said softly. I turned to look back for a brief second; he disappeared before my eyes.

As I kept walking, the bright light and mist gradually faded away. My eyes were on the ground, so I didn't notice Merlin was still there until he said, "Arthur?" I felt totally beat up, physically and mentally, even though I'd done nothing but stand and talk. It really hurt to know my father disapproved of what I'd thought were good decisions.

I didn't say much to Merlin, and he seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk yet. When it really came down to it, he knew when to stay silent and when to talk. It wasn't until we'd made camp- away from the Stones -for the night and eaten dinner that I felt settled enough to talk. It turns out that he was right about them feeling awful.

I was staring into the fire when he asked, "Want to talk about it?" I looked up at him so he'd get the hint to clarify. "What you saw at the Stones?"

"Apparently my father disapproves of the way I've chosen to govern his kingdom."

"You mean _your_ kingdom." He had a point there. _Again_.

"Everything he said about the knights and marrying Guinevere. What if he's correct? What if I've ruined Camelot?"

"Do you honestly think that?" _He's being my conscience again_. "You've always done what you felt to be right. People look up to you."

"Thank you Merlin." _How does he do this?_

"A few people still consider you a foolish, supercilious ass."

"Who?" He grinned; I'd fallen for his jibe, but it made me feel better, as usual. "Very funny." I looked around for a moment, deciding I could finally sleep. "We should get a bit of rest." I laid back to find a comfortable spot on the ground and slept.

xxxXxxx

We got back early enough the next day for the Round Table meeting. It was going as usual—patrol reports, training reports, incident reports, and finally, troop movements. Leon gave this report, and he wasn't _trying_ to put us to sleep, but many of us were fighting it at that point.

"We've distributed men from Pawlett down to Meldreth. This consists of thirty troops at Bawtry. Fifteen at Talan. Ten at Chime. Nine at Brune." The doors leading to the inner chamber flew open, startling everyone. _We're awake now!_ I nodded at Leon to continue. "Eleven at Burwell . . ." The candelabra, with no prior warning, chose that moment to fall onto the Round Table. _Everyone_ jumped.

After that, continuing the meeting was pretty pointless. My nerves were frayed and the table was cracked. The stupid heavy candelabra was fine, except for the broken chain. I dismissed everyone and contemplated the accident. When everyone had left, I stood , took off my cloak and tossed it over the back of my chair. _Time to go_.

I threw a glance at Merlin and began walking out of the room. When he got close enough, I started talking. "I need the table mended by the next council meeting. Do you hear me, _Merlin_?" I stopped to wait for him, impatiently.

"What? Sorry. I was just pondering what happened," he replied, sounding distracted. I could relate.

I resumed walking. "Did you get a bad scare?" _Mocking helped distract me from my own_.

"Definitely. My heart almost jumped out my mouth."

"Oh, then perhaps you should have what's left of the day off and take a break?"

"_Really_?" He stopped to stare at me in disbelief. _As if_. "You were teasing."

"There's truly no limit to your intellect, is there, Merlin?" I left him standing there to ponder that for a moment, then called out his name to get his attention. He seemed distracted again though.

xxxXxxx

I found the source of Merlin's distraction at dinnertime. I'd heard about Percival's accident in the armory and was glad to hear his life wasn't in danger. But now my servant was here with _another_ crazy theory.

"_What?_" I asked.

"I think you might have freed your father's spirit at the Stones of Nemeton," he repeated.

"And why do you think that?" He _must_ realize how that sounded.

"Did you look back?" I was puzzled; _where was he going with this?_ "As the veil shut, did you look back at your father?"

I thought for a moment. "I might have turned round for a second." I stood up and paced toward the window; I couldn't focus on eating.

"In that second, you released Uther's spirit. All the weird things that have been happening? The candelabra collapsing onto the Round Table."

But there were logical reasons for these things. "Yes, because the chain failed."

"The axe hitting Percival."

"It was an accident."

"Was it?"

"Do you honestly expect I'd consider that my father's spirit is to blame for these things?" _Although that druid boy's spirit used Elyan_ . . .

He started walking around the table toward me. "The Round Table symbolizes everything you've changed since you became King. You told me how Uther chastised you. He's furious at you and that implies he's dangerous."

_Oh come on_. "I know my father. He wouldn't act like this."

"I believe he'd do whatever it takes to guard his legacy. Who can tell _what_ he'd do?"

_Now he's starting to worry me_. "Stop! That's enough." I paused to really look at him. He was totally serious. "Go away," I needed to think, but he didn't leave. "Go!" At that he finally walked out, giving me his disgusted look as he went. Did he really just expect me to believe his crazy theory? I walked to the window and waited for Guinevere to return for the evening.

I hadn't expected _Merlin_ come in instead of her. But then again, I didn't expect to follow him down to Gaius's chambers to see her recovering from a mysterious attack either.

"You realize this was Uther," Merlin stated. _Strange kind of comfort_.

"We can't be sure what happened," I replied. I watched Gaius care for her.

"So Gwen just inexplicably happened to be stuck in the kitchens, which just inexplicably burst into flames. You said yourself Uther criticized your marriage to Gwen."

"He wouldn't do this," I said without conviction.

"I see how difficult this is for you."

_I couldn't think about his theory now_. "Gaius, how is she?"

"Smoke went into her lungs, but she will heal in time. She's taken a sleeping draught. She was fortunate to escape with her life." He didn't say so, but he seemed to support Merlin's theory.

"I've seen how merciless my father could be, but why would he do this to Guinevere? He knows I love her greatly." In the absence of contrary evidence, I'd given in. "Gaius. What do you know about spirits?"

"We need to compel Uther's spirit to go back to the other world before he harms anyone else. We have to use The Horn of Cathbhadh to reopen the door connecting the worlds. But we have to remember this . . . only the person who called the spirit can drive it from this world."

He went on to explain about a potion that would allow a living person to see spirits of the dead. This situation was different from the Dorocha's release—the tear allowed _all_ kinds of spirits to roam free. What I'd done was parted the veil to step inside for a short time, then closed it behind me as I walked out. In turning to see him again, I'd held it open for Father to come out with me, _then_ closed it. He was invisible to everyone. To force him back I had to be able to _see_ him. That made sense.

Merlin and I went back to my chambers to wait for Gaius to brew the potion. Waiting was _definitely_ not one of my strengths. I liked to confront situations head-on with action. I took the horn out of the drawer I'd stashed it in and laid it on the table, contemplating hunting my own father. Merlin just puttered around, tidying things up—until he dropped a platter in the silence. My nerves were so frayed I jumped.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"You're lucky it's difficult to frighten me," I told him. I'd never admit to the frayed nerves.

"Seriously? Because it seemed like you leapt out of your skin."

"That's because you're a clumsy fool. Pick up that stuff." He bent to the floor to pick up the platter and whatever had been on it. "Where's Gaius? How long can it take to brew a potion?" I picked up the horn.

"This potion takes time to brew correctly." He said that like he was talking to an impatient child. Then we heard an odd sound coming from behind him and turned our heads to look that way.

"What is it?"

He stood up and whispered, "I heard a noise behind that door."

"You're dreaming it, Merlin."

He bent down again to pick up the platter and we heard the same sound. "What should we do?" he asked, whispering again.

I walked toward him quietly and snuck over to the suspect door. I paused and looked back at him, gesturing for him to put down the tray and get over to me. Amazingly, he understood this time. Still gesturing, I told him to open the door then get out of the way so I could confront whatever it was. After I counted up to three with my fingers, we did it. We looked around the passage before startling at the sound of a rat. I rolled my eyes. "There's your phantom, Merlin."

We turned simultaneously then jumped and yelped at the sight of . . . Gaius. He jumped a little too—none of us had been expecting how the others appeared. Gaius gave us his "look," which relieved (and sobered) us immensely.

We walked over to the table and sat down at it. There were two little bottles there, staring at us, but Merlin and I stared at each other. "This potion will permit you to see Uther's spirit form. Once you're near him, you have to blow the horn. It's the only way to make him return to the spirit world."

We picked up the bottles; Merlin opened his first. I had the presence of mind to ask, "Is it safe?"

Gaius opened his mouth to reply, then paused to think before replying, "I'm not completely certain." _Not very reassuring_. I uncorked mine and we "toasted" each other.

Merlin brought his up to his mouth but stopped when he saw I hadn't moved. "Why are you waiting?"

"To find out if it's safe."

"So, if I live, you'll drink yours?" He kept looking over at Gaius for some odd reason.

"Exactly. Get to it." He gave the bottle an apprehensive look and hesitated once or twice, but downed it. I watched to see his reaction, but he just shook his head and looked at me as if to say, _why haven't you done it yet?_ Okay then. "Well, apparently it doesn't kill you straight away," I said and drank the stuff. _Ohhh yuk!_ I nearly dropped the bottle and had to cover my mouth so I couldn't spit it out on reflex. "_Eurgh!_ That . . . That is the most _disgusting_ thing I've ever consumed."

Merlin made a funny face then and practically croaked: "Sorry. Did I neglect to mention that bit?" _Umm, yes. Yes you did, you idiot!_

We couldn't waste any more time by whining about the potion. So we stood up and looked at Gaius, who looked apologetic, but nodded to us. Once we'd left my chambers, I picked up a torch and waved it at the dark corners before going down the corridor.

Merlin gasped and said, "There!"

"Where?" I hurried to catch up to him. He stared oddly at the wall then picked up his hand to wave it around.

"Oh, it's only our shadows." I smacked him upside the head for that idiocy. "_Ow!_"

We continued down the corridor, opening doors here and there. I brandished the torch menacingly. After opening one door, we paused when we heard this weird wind and movement on the other side of the next door. I reached for my sword, but when the door opened it was just Leon. "Arthur. Merlin," he said after we'd all jumped. He looked as startled as we felt.

"Leon," we said together.

"Is everything okay, my Lord?" _Was it?_ At this point I wasn't sure of _anything_.

"It's just great. We are . . . Merlin. Inform Leon what we're doing." Deflection is a good tool.

"We're . . . I'm instructing him in poetry," Merlin offered. Leon looked surprised, but not half as surprised as I felt.

"Poetry?" He was questioning our sanity. I was too.

"I . . . adore poetry," I reluctantly "admitted."

"I was as stunned as you are. He can't get enough of it," Merlin added. And he probably had a big goofy grin on his face. The kind I liked to smack _off_ his face.

"I'll let you return to your poetry, then, my Lord," Leon said, then walked past us.

When Leon was gone, I could finally give Merlin a piece of my mind. "_Poetry?_ That's best thing you could think of?"

He came back irritated. "What did you think I'd say?"

"I don't know. Something that didn't insinuate I'm a love-struck girl." Something caught my eye behind him—father. He glared at me before striding off down another corridor.

Merlin followed my line of sight, but missed him. "What was that?"

"_That_ was my father," I told him as I walked to the corridor, Merlin following. "I never imagined that someday I would be hunting my own father. When I became King, I just wanted him to be proud of me." Merlin looked like he wanted to say something but shook his head instead. "What is it?"

"You've always done what you thought to be right, even despite your father's disapproval. Don't you see how different the two of you are? Camelot has changed for the better while you've been King."

"My father obviously doesn't agree," I scoffed.

"The people have faith in _you_, Arthur. It's all for naught if you don't have faith in yourself." That weird wind sounded again, and we followed it around the corner. There was a noise in the storeroom then another further down the corridor.

"Check the storeroom," I told him, then went the other direction. I reached the end without finding anything, so I rounded the next corner. The weird wind blew past again. The next time it blew, the torch went out and footsteps sounded down the next corridor.

"Merlin? Merlin, is that you?" Nothing but a cold presence that crept by my side. "Father?" I whipped around to follow it. I tossed the torch down and pulled the horn out of my belt then walked on. The wind blew as I rounded the corner. The door to the throne room opened to my right; I pushed it slowly and went inside. I turned when it slammed shut behind me. It locked on its own and the wind blew. "I know it's you, Father. Why do you do this?" I turned around slowly to see him sitting in the throne.

"I did not work my whole life to build this kingdom to watch my own son ruin it," he said viciously.

"You attempted to kill Guinevere." I tried to stay matter-of-fact even though I was seething inside.

"For your own good. How can a serving girl know what being Queen means?"

"Guinevere is intelligent and strong, and I trust her over anyone."

"And that is your weak point. You place too much trust in other people. You and only you should rule Camelot."

_Ouch_. It was getting hard to rein in my anger. "I'd prefer not to rule at all, than rule alone."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Your entire life I sought to ready you for the time you would become King. Didn't you learn anything?"

"I observed how you ruled, and I learnt that if you trust nobody, you'll constantly live in fear. Your hate originated from fear, not strength." That much was clear.

He stood up, perturbed. "You dare provoke me!"

"I loved and respected you. But I need to rule the Kingdom in my own way. I must do what I think is right."

He raised his voice. "I won't permit you to ruin everything I built."

"Then you'll need to kill me." Now he was shocked, but I meant it. "I'm not _you_, Father. I cannot rule in the manner you did."

"Camelot must take precedence above everything. Even you." I heard something move behind me, felt pain at the side of my head then nothing.

I came to on the floor of the throne room. A shield lay next to me; that's probably what knocked me out. There were faint noses coming from the direction of the armory and I wondered who father was after now. I picked myself up and ran toward the armory

Father was stalking toward Merlin, who was pinned to the far wall. "Killing you will give me great pleasure."

"Father!" I yelled as I walked into the room. He turned to look at me and I took the horn out of my belt. I held it up so he could see it; he lowered the sword from Merlin's neck.

"Arthur! No! Please. What I have done, I did for Camelot."

Tears swamped my eyes. It killed me to have to do this. "You've had your go. Now it's mine."

"Merlin has . . ." He seemed to expand as he yelled in protest and dissolved.

Merlin and I looked at each other. Several different emotions flitted across his face—fear, relief, pain, joy, sadness . . . sadness? For _me_? Because I definitely felt that; I'd just essentially killed my father. I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry, which I _could_ actually do since there were several hours until dawn. I put the horn back in my belt and pulled out the spears that had pinned Merlin to the door. He walked me back to my room where I slept until midmorning.

xxxXxxx

After brunch, I had to get ready for training. Life must go on. We were jousting today and that particular armor resided in the armory. Being here reminded me of last night and I felt able talk about it. "I'd always respected my father. I admired and revered him more than anyone. I need to acknowledge that I can't satisfy him, and be true to myself."

"Uther acted how he felt he had to, to defend the Kingdom," Merlin commented as he slid the armor down over my head.

I stood up so he could buckle it easier. "That doesn't mean he was correct. I intend to create a kingdom that is fair and just. One where all are accepted, despite status."

"Does that include me?"

"Naturally."

"So you won't smack me anymore?"

_Huh?_ "When do I ever smack you?"

"Almost constantly."

_Oh, I get it_. "That isn't smacking, Merlin. That's just friendly slapping. It's horseplay."

"So I can give you a friendly slap?"

"You can definitely attempt it." Something that felt like my glove struck the back of my head. _Hmm_. I turned around. "What the hell was that?"

He looked a little apprehensive, or maybe fearful of retribution. "It was, um . . . horseplay."

I took my gloves from him. "No, Merlin, you're executing it all wrong." I put one glove on, then fisted my hand as I pulled on the other. "Why don't I demonstrate?"

He ran.

* * *

**LOL, I'd run too. Or find some way to _creatively_ disarm him. _Hmm_. Next up- reason #137 why I hate what they did to Morgana.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay. My NaNoWriMo project is getting in the way a bit so updates may come a bit slower. I plan to post it here at FF at some point. :) And now another defining moment for our king- _Another's Sorrow_.**

**Mika271170- It is rather like they were giving us a close-up of Arthur before yanking him away. And yes, _Another's Sorrow_. Or _How to Swallow Your Pride_. LOL! I think I'll eventually end up doing all of S5's episodes, but not right away. S5 is _hard_! :)**

* * *

Late in the evening of an otherwise average day, hoof beats sounded across the stones of the courtyard. _Who would come to the castle this late?_ Any patrols would go directly to the stables, unless there was an emergency. The lack of warning bells meant friend, not foe. I couldn't see much when I looked out the window; just Leon and a few guards handling the matter. I assumed I'd hear about it at some point.

Several minutes later, Leon entered my chambers to report. Princess Mithian of Nemeth and her servant, an old woman, had ridden nonstop from Nemeth. Their reasons were still unknown, as the Princess was unconscious and appeared to be ill. And the servant was too concerned with her mistress to talk. He mentioned that he'd mostly carried her to guest chambers and left her in the hands of Gaius and Merlin.

Not much later, a knock sounded at my door. _Leon again?_ "Yes," I called, but Merlin entered. _Ah_. "How is she?"

"She's shaken and obviously worn out, but she'll live," he said.

"Excellent. I'll speak with her right now." I stood and walked to the door, but Merlin stepped in my path.

"No, you won't." _Huh?_

"Excuse me?"

"She's to be left alone until morning." Says _who_?

"This is important." I need to know why she's here.

"And so is the wellbeing of the princess." He didn't budge.

_Oh, I get it_. _Power trip_. "Did you just issue me a command?"

"Yes sire."

"Feels good, doesn't it?

"It's not bad." He gave me a small smile. I turned to walk away, thinking. "Arthur?"

I sat back down. "Something must have happened to force them into riding all night." Mithian's not an impulsive woman and wouldn't have gone through this for a mere social call.

"We'll find out in the morning, sire," he said firmly, and left.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, I convened the council, and when she was ready, Mithian came in to address us. She still looked quite distressed. _Merlin_ had escorted her down, interestingly enough. She sat gingerly and began speaking.

"They arrived at night with no notice. We were not ready. We could not stop them." She was still so frightened that her voice broke several times.

"You said it was three days ago," I said.

She nodded, and her face crumpled up like she was fighting tears. "His men displayed no compassion. They felled us like trees."

I had to shove the anger and disgust I felt behind a mask. "Odin gives no thought to the misery he brings about."

"And your father?" Guinevere asked.

"He was seriously injured, but we were able to get away," she replied

_A little good news_. "Where is he currently?"

Her head dropped. "We got nearly to the border, but he could not go on any more. Odin's men will be looking for us. And they will find him soon enough."

"I understand."

She glanced over at her servant. "My father is old. He cannot look after himself. I've nobody else to ask for help, but you, Arthur. You're my last hope."

I glanced at Guinevere; I saw that she felt the same as I did. "Mithian, I know how you're suffering and I will do all I can to aid you."

A tear ran down her face. "Thank you, my Lord."

I talked with her one-on-one for a few minutes, to clarify the details then excused her so she could return to her chambers and rest. The whole ordeal had clearly taken a toll on her. It must have been horrifying for her to be reduced to this, though I didn't think any less of her for it. I eyed the members of my privy council, making sure they knew to follow me when I left.

We convened in my chambers. Several maps had been laid on the table, at my direction. I unrolled the ones I wanted and pointed as I spoke. "Rodor has taken sanctuary here by the ancient tomb of King Loath. From our border, it's three leagues."

"Mithian can guide us there?" Leon asked.

"She is improving quickly," Gaius confirmed.

"The only way to get Rodor out is with speed and stealth. We'll use a small band of knights," I explained, looking around to make sure everyone understood.

"To sneak over the border and return in a few hours," Elyan guessed.

"Right."

"Sire, if I might?" Gaius asked.

I looked at him. "Yes Gaius."

"Odin has been after your blood for a while. If he discovers this you could have an entire army at chasing you."

_Hmm_. "A valid concern, but Odin doesn't know where Rodor is and we do. When he realizes what's happened, we'll be long gone. We'll stay overnight in the Forest of Gedref and depart at dawn."

That was the plan, at least. Of course things never go exactly as planned, but this one stood a good chance of success. I was pretty optimistic, and the others seemed to be as well. No one said anything to the contrary as they left the room.

Later, I studied the maps as Guinevere prepared for bed. She'd been quiet since the privy council left. _Maybe something about the plan had bothered her?_ But she hadn't said anything during the meeting, which led me to believe she was all right with it. I felt that way up until she started speaking.

"Arthur, why did you agree to aid Mithian?" _Uh oh_.

I glanced at her. "Well, Nemeth _is_ our ally," I replied. It was _part_ of the truth.

"One tiny mistake and Camelot might lose its king." _There it is_.

"That's a gamble I'm ready to take." _Deflecting_.

"For Nemeth? Or for yourself?" _Uh oh_.

_She nailed me_; I gave up deflecting and sat back. "What do imply by 'for myself?'"

"Odin took your father's life. I know you've been waiting for an opportunity to get even."

I stood—better to defend myself. "What I think about Odin is a separate issue."

"Truthfully?"

She obviously didn't believe me. I began walking to her for further reassurance. "No question. This is about aiding our allies, no more, no less."

"Excellent. I just needed to be certain." She let herself be reassured, though I don't think she was, not really.

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Asking was totally appropriate. I depend on your truthfulness, Guinevere. And I love you for it." I bent down to kiss her forehead and walked back to the table. I couldn't admit to her that finally dealing with Odin _was_ a small part of my motivation for helping.

xxxXxxx

The next morning I was walking down the corridor when a familiar voice arrested me. _I thought I'd sent him to collect my things; how could he be done so quickly?_ "Sire! Hold up!"

I rolled my eyes but stopped anyway. "What is it?" I asked impatiently. As if I didn't already know what he was going to say. But he _did_ have everything with him.

He stopped in front of me. "The mission, sire . . ."

_Yep_. I headed him off. "It's too risky so I shouldn't do it."

He looked a little surprised. "You were thinking something similar?"

"No, I'm thinking that's always what you say, but here I am." I made a show of looking down at myself. "Two legs, two arms, my own teeth." I bared my teeth at him and walked off.

After a moment, he followed. "I've got a weird feeling that we're missing something. Maybe there's something we don't know?"

_Another feeling, hmm_. "But you can't tell me what."

"No," he reluctantly admitted.

"No." _I thought so_.

We rounded a corner and he stopped again. "Perhaps we should postpone the mission? Just until we get all the facts straight."

I turned to face him. "All right," I said, and pretended to turn away. "So, would _you_ like to tell Princess Mithian that we chose to let her father die since you have 'a weird feeling'?" I paused for an answer I knew he wouldn't give. "I thought not." He followed silently the rest of the way into the courtyard, where everyone was preparing to leave.

Everyone was ready in short order, and we cantered out of Camelot. After a couple hours, we stopped near a brook to rest ourselves and the horses. I told Merlin to help Mithian down from her horse and assist her with anything she needed. He also took our water skins to refill them.

I gave him what I thought was enough time, then went looking for him down at the brook. It looked like he'd finished and was just talking to Gaius—but this was no time for idle chatter. "We must get to the border by nightfall. Let's go!" I told them.

Just before sunset, we started looking for a place to camp. Leon spotted the remains of a burned-down house, so we stopped there. Everyone halted and began the usual tasks of camping for the night—unpacking, building fires, preparing food, and laying out bedrolls. After Merlin handed me dinner, he sat next to me and looked around, deep in thought. _Any minute now_ . . .

"Arthur? Are you certain this is the proper thing to do?" he asked, looking at me. _And there it is_.

"Hmm. Your 'weird feeling' again, yes?" I replied. _He's not going to give this up_.

"Something like that."

Something struck me then. "Have you talked to Guinevere lately?"

"No. What makes you ask? Did she have doubts about the mission too?" _How does he _do_ that?_

But I _could_ tell him what I couldn't tell her. I looked at him. "Odin is a scourge upon this land. I can't simply sit around and allow him to murder Mithian's father like he murdered mine."

"I saw what he did. I know why you detest him. But to endanger so much for one tiny act of vengeance . . ." _Maybe he's reading my mind; that's my conscience talking_.

I'd turned away, but looked back at him for this. "Okay Merlin, tell me—if you were me, if you were in my place, would you act differently?"

He didn't shy away. "Perhaps . . . not." _And there's my second opinion_.

I started to finish eating, but a sound in front of us drew our attention. Mithian's servant, Hilda, cried out and stumbled. "Ah."

"Gaius!" Merlin yelled. He got up and walked over to the old woman.

The physician was there quickly and he and Merlin helped her up. "It's okay. Simply breathe in. There you go."

"I'm all right," she said. Mithian came up behind the group, looking kind of anxious.

"Naturally. Let us be certain anyway," Gaius told her.

"It's not needed," she tried to tell him.

"Hilda, if you're ill you should allow Gaius to help you," I told her. The commotion had attracted the attention of several knights, who had come up behind me.

"Of course, if you insist," she finally agreed. Gaius and Merlin helped her to where the ladies' things were set up. She sat while Gaius examined her. Mithian and Merlin watched.

Gaius came back a little later to tell me she was fine, just exhausted. That was a relief; Mithian wouldn't be deprived of her comfort after all.

xxxXxxx

I woke at the usual time in the morning. After a quick breakfast, I walked a little away from the camp to look out over the river valley that marked the border between Camelot and Nemeth. It's a moment of peace I long for but rarely receive. Footsteps behind me signaled its end.

"Sire!" Leon's voice calls.

"Have the scouts come back?" I asked.

He stopped a few paces behind me. "Yes, sire. They've reported considerable numbers of Odin's men just across the border."

"They're searching for Rodor."

He came closer, for confidentiality. "Sire, we've only a small number. If we're seen there's no way to escape. Might it be wiser to wait here, to . . ?"

I cut him off there. "Unacceptable. Time is an extravagance we can't afford."

"We have decent protection. There's a chance the patrols will pass by us before long and . . ."

I couldn't help but feel irritated at his insistence, though I normally welcomed his opinion. "We're proceeding to Nemeth. Get ready to leave." I walked past him to go back to camp. _Real life stinks sometimes_.

I looked around for Merlin, to ask what he'd done so far, but I didn't see him. Mithian saw me looking, and told me she'd asked him to refill her water skin at the river. I called out, "Merlin?"

"Here! He's here," came Hilda's voice. But no Merlin appeared. I sent Gwaine to hurry him along, but he was back in a moment to grab Percival and Gaius then rush away again.

I ran to where I'd seen them disappear, only to see Gwaine reappear. He was followed by Gaius, Hilda and Percival, who was carrying Merlin over his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Hilda found him," Percival supplied.

"He was down by the river. I think he fell," the old woman said.

"Gaius?" I asked. _This was not good for _many_ reasons_.

"He's suffered a serious knock to the head." The physician supplied as he examined his ward.

"But he'll be okay?" I attempted to hide my concern as he looked up to answer me.

"He should be all right sire, but there's no telling when he'll return to consciousness."

I knew what I _wanted_ to do and what I _should_ do weren't compatible in this situation. I glanced at the knights standing there and made my decision. "We can't hold back for him. Not if we want to reach Rodor before Odin's men." I thought for a way to make this okay for me. "Gwaine, wait here with Merlin and Gaius. Everyone else will head for Nemeth."

I really hated leaving them there like that, but there was a lot more on the line than Merlin's health. I told everyone to grab what they needed and move out. I led the group along the ridge to guide us to our goal.

I paused when I spotted an old structure in the near distance. It was probably the tomb the Princess had spoken of. She came up behind me and confirmed my suspicion, "The tomb sits slightly east of the river."

I turned to face the line of people behind me. "We're almost across Camelot's border with Nemeth. It's Odin's territory now. Keep your eyes open."

After another hour or so of walking, we came to a fork in the path. Mithian, now ahead of me, stopped, seeming unsure of which way to go. I stopped just behind her and asked, "You sure you know the way?"

She nodded. "Yes. We're pretty close. If we keep going east the tomb will be right ahead."

We walked for maybe another hour when the structure we'd seen across the river loomed about fifty yards from us. "Is that it?" I inquired.

"Yes. We ought to find my father within," the Princess confirmed.

"Let's move," I said, eager to get this over with. I told most of the knights to stay where we were, to intercept any hostiles. When we got closer to the mouth of the cave, I made another decision. "Leon, Elyan, go look out with the others. Percival, on me."

I guided Mithian in front to lead us, and we followed her into the dark. After a couple minutes she turned as if to speak, but seemed to change her mind and say something else. "The burial chamber is up ahead, near the end of the corridor." She didn't look up as I passed her; was she afraid of something?

A couple more twists and turns and we entered the burial chamber. The tomb itself was in the center of the room, but something, rather someone, was missing. "What's going on? Where's your father?" Puzzled, I turned to look at her, but she was cowering against the wall.

"He's not here." _I can see that_.

She looked very frightened of something. I didn't understand what, but an uneasy feeling began to spread over me. Along with a little anger. "Then where is he?"

"Arthur I—" she began, then I hear footsteps coming down the corridor. I glanced at Percival as if he could answer who, but he looked as confused as I was. The two of us drew our swords and looked at the doorway; men wearing the livery of Odin's kingdom walked in. They spread around the walls of the room. After another glance at Percival, we engaged the ones closest to us.

We managed to take down a couple of men before their number overwhelmed and subdued us. Percival's head was forced down to the tomb's cover. Three men held my arms behind me, but I managed to face Mithian and yelled, "What harm have I done you?" She looked ready to throw herself on one of the enemy's swords. No words came from her, but she collapsed to the floor just before I was forced to my knees. _Painfully_. "Ah!"

Odin chose that moment to enter the room. _Why am I not surprised?_ Behind him, one of his men released King Rodor and Mithian ran to embrace him. _At last I see the truth_. "Arthur Pendragon. Finally. I've waited so long for this moment. You murdered my son. You stole what was most dear to me and now you'll pay the price."

To my surprise, Hilda's voice came so quickly after his she'd nearly cut him off. "And it can't come too soon. You aren't the only one who's waited for this moment, Odin." I turned to look at her. "Looks can be deceiving, _dear brother_."

_And the other shoe drops._ "Morgana."_ I am so blind_.

"And now, you will pay the price," Odin said with relish.

I looked up at the coward king. "My father's life wasn't enough?"

"No."

I glanced at Percival. _There really was no way out_. "So be it. But know this Odin; if you kill me you'll have all of Camelot to contend with."

"Camelot is weak without a king."

I had to chuckle—he really had _no _idea. "Then you don't understand my knights. They'll chase you. And they _will_ unearth you. And they won't stop until they're done."

"I'll take care of your knights before long but now your moment has come." He drew his sword and grinned in malicious anticipation.

I saw a de-aged Morgana walk around to get a better view. Odin raised his sword while I tried to make my peace with the world. Everything I'd never see again, never do . . . then the earth started to shake. Everyone standing, including Odin, fell backwards. Chunks of rock began falling from the walls and ceiling. I jumped up, grabbed Odin's sword and elbowed him in the face. As he went down, I sliced at one of his men and tossed the sword to Percival. I picked up a new sword and attacked another bad guy. I turned to face one about to end me and he went down.

I looked through the dust to see someone most unexpected. "Merlin?"

"Hurry, this way!" he yelled to the room at large and gestured to the doorway. Rodor, Mithian, Percival, and I followed his direction without question.

I led the way out of the tomb. Percival helped Mithian and Rodor; Merlin brought up the rear. We ran into the woods only to see more of Odin's men chasing us. "This way!" I yelled, hopefully following the path that Mithian had brought us on. A few men managed to ambush us from the sides. Percival and I took out a pair, and I turned to see that Rodor had as well.

My amazement must have shown on my face, because Rodor paused to say, "Don't be so surprised. I led an army in my time."

I smiled. "And you will again," I told him before we resumed our flight.

We'd run a fair distance before I heard Rodor say from behind me, "Leave me!" He'd stopped, apparently quite winded.

I stopped and walked back to him. "That's not happening. You're the reason we came."

Everyone else had stopped too. "Leave me. Save Mithian," he pleaded. Percival put his arm around him to help him continue.

I glanced past him to see Odin running with a few of his men. "Go along the ridge line," I told Mithian, making a quick decision.

"What about you?" Rodor asked.

I glanced at Merlin. "We'll divert them another direction."

"No!" Mithian protested.

"This dispute concerns me and Odin. You have no more part in it," I told her, grabbed Merlin and started running in our original direction. Without further protest, Mithian followed her father and Percival. With any luck, Odin would follow _us_—it _was_ me he was really after.

He did follow us, but eventually we found ourselves trapped in a dead end ravine. We stopped and turned to face Odin as he ran up the incline to us. He stopped; I glared and twirled my sword menacingly.

One of his men tried to run past him, but he put out an arm to stop him. "No! I want to do this myself."

I walked toward him, not looking away. He took that as an invitation and struck first. I parried and slashed back. He had anger on his side, but his age negated that advantage. We traded a few blows before I was able to knock him to the ground. He got up and attacked again, trying to make up for his disadvantage by fighting two-handed. I equaled him with one hand. At one point he put too much power into his swing and got slightly off-balanced; that allowed me to kick him behind his knees. He went down but swung one last time. I parried it easily and sent his sword flying; I whipped mine to his neck as it went.

Before I could even think about what to do next, Merlin shouted. "Arthur! Stop." Something in his voice made me pause. Odin just glared. "Consider what you're doing. What benefit will this bring about? How often have you spoken of uniting this land? Will slaying this man lead to that vision any quicker?" His voice got softer as he spoke—my conscience speaking through him again.

I thought long before I spoke next, still trying to catch my breath. "He's right. This is no solution."

Odin maintained his glare while saying, "End this. End this and be done."

I wanted to roll my eyes, but managed to just look away. "Then what happens? Your people will take their revenge. A war with no end."

"What other way is there?" _He's already given up_.

_I don't want this to turn out the way it had with Caerleon_. "_Peace_ is another way. In exchange for your life, you have to return Rodor to the throne of Nemeth."

"Even if I consent it doesn't resolve anything. What about _us_, Pendragon?" Of course he still wants me dead—me or _him_.

"A treaty. Constraining our kingdoms to peace." I prefer _no one_ die.

"Never." _Stubborn fool_ . . .

I leaned closer to him—I couldn't believe his level of obstinacy. "Do you really want this? To die here, now, realizing you consign this land to war. Odin, you can't allow it to end like this. The blood will never wash away."

"You killed my son." _He values vengeance more than the lives of his people?_

"You killed my _father_!" I yelled. "Both of us have suffered loss at the other's hand. Let's not lose any more. I'm giving you the ability to end this. Take it!" I threw my sword into the ground and offered my hand to the other king. "Take it."

"So be it. A treaty it is." He took my hand and pulled himself up, staring straight into my eyes.

We slowly walked out of the ravine together. At the top, we discussed a series of visits between kingdoms to discuss and finalize the treaty. I was mostly relieved that the running and chasing were over. Knowing he didn't want my head anymore also helped. When that was finished, Merlin and I eventually found the Nemethian royalty and the group of knights we'd started the day with. I decided we'd stay for the night where we were and finish the trek back to Camelot in the morning.

xxxXxxx

The trip home seemed to go a lot faster than the trip _to_ Nemeth. We made it by late afternoon, and in no time, Gaius was checking our guests over. He started with Rodor, since he looked the most worse for wear.

"Your injuries are tender, sire, but shallow. You'll mend in time," he told the older king.

"Thank you Gaius," Rodor replied.

"Odin's pulled his army out of Nemeth and its lands," I told them. I'd just received a message from a courier the invader king had sent.

"All thanks to you," Mithian said.

"Everyone played a part, of course." It _had_ been a group effort and I'd barely swallowed my pride in time to help. I'd turned to walk away when her voice made me pause.

"I know I played mine. Arthur . . ."

_She didn't know I'd forgiven her_. "Mithian, there's no need to apologize. You didn't have a choice. If it had been my father I'd have done the same thing."

"Camelot is lucky to have a king like you." _Whoa there_.

"I am the lucky one." I glanced over at Rodor to be sure he'd understand. "Camelot would be nothing without the bravery and devotion of its friends." I put a comforting hand on her arm; she smiled and nodded.

When I turned I saw Guinevere smiling in approval. _Another reason why I'm lucky_. We left the room together, but she didn't speak until we were in the corridor. I was pleasantly surprised when she took my hand.

"You could have slain Odin; it was your right. But you did something much more significant. You granted the people of this land hope for the future. I'm pleased," she said, and briefly put her other hand on my arm too. I looked down at her brilliant smile.

Since I was feeling particularly humble, I admitted something else to her. "Merlin ought to have a little of the credit. It seems he's not always completely stupid."

"Is that praise?" she asked playfully.

"Don't let him know, whatever you do. I'll never hear the end of it." From her smile I couldn't tell whether she'd keep that to herself or not. She didn't say anything back to me either. I guess I'd just have to hope and pray he wouldn't ever hear those words. Because I really _wouldn't_ ever live them down.

* * *

**I was going to skip doing _The Disir_, because I dislike it intensely (in my head I call it "a series of stupid mistakes"). But it's rather an interesting one for Arty, so woo hoo! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am _really_ sorry for the update delay! NaNoWriMo and December got in my way. But I'll soon finish my big project and get back to my regular life. Now, enjoy Arthur's view of 5.5, _The Disir_. :)**

* * *

Mordred possesses several qualities that would make him an excellent knight, or I wouldn't have knighted him. He even had respectable sword fighting skills, which was admirable for a kid living a transient life. He was taking to training very well, and this morning I decided to test how he was coming along by fighting him myself.

He came at me with a very strong blow; he was actually very well-built. At one point he nearly sliced my neck open. He had several unconventional moves that didn't distract from his fighting; they reminded me of Lancelot and Gwaine. But he didn't win the fight, though he was much closer to it now than he'd been when he started training.

"You're becoming capable, Mordred, _very_ capable," I told him as I reached out a hand to help him off the ground.

"My lord," he replied in his humble way.

"I may have to actually try soon."

"Sire?" I heard Merlin say. He was applauding as he approached us.

But I was busy explaining to Mordred what he could have done better, so we walked right by. I knew he'd follow. "And you should always remember . . ." When I'd finished teaching Mordred, I clapped him on the back and sent him back to training. I'd had all I was going to get—I just had too much to do.

I was explaining to Merlin why he'd been brushed off when we got to my chambers. "Mordred used a contre quarte to my high-line attack. It was skillfully done."

"Hmm?" he asked in an uninterested way.

"Do you know what a contre quarte is?"

"I'm guessing it's a type of parry, beginning in the quarte position and ending with a twist of the wrist."

I had to stop my mouth from falling open. "You've been listening." I went behind my changing screen. "So how do you judge young Mordred?"

"He's, uh, progressing well." Now he was _definitely_ unenthusiastic. Come to think of it, he hadn't been enthused about Mordred since we brought him here. _I wonder why?_

"He has the potential to be an excellent knight, don't you think?"

"Camelot has many excellent knights." _Still wishy-washy_.

"Yes, I think that he'll be one of the best, and I've decided he'll receive only encouragement from me." I then tossed my doublet over the screen. Hopefully it landed on his head.

xxxXxxx

Later in the day, I sat in the council chambers with a group of senior knights. Though I wasn't expecting him, Leon came striding in a few minutes late. "Sir Leon, any news from the east?" I asked.

He sat next to Percival as he spoke. "Grave news, I fear, sire. As you know, a few days ago, our troops in the Forest of Brechfa stopped the man known as Osgar."

_Ah yes_. "The sorcerer?"

"Yes. They tried to detain him but he used his magic to flee. I regret to say . . . Sir Ranulf was fatally injured."

_Not him_. "Sir Ranulf? He was a steadfast and faithful knight." I thought for a moment, coming to a quick decision. "Set all the men in the east on high alert."

"Yes, sire."

I stood and the rest of the table followed suit. "I'll lead a patrol to deal with this Osgar." No one spoke, though I knew there were probably a few who disagreed with my decision. I left the room to begin preparing.

When I got back to my chambers, Guinevere was there. We conversed about how the meeting had gone. After a while she fell silent and I began moving around the room to find things.

"Do you have to go yourself?" She finally asked. I knew _exactly_ where she was going with this.

"A king is required to lead, or why does he exist?" Answering with another question would hopefully distract her.

"You led the men that rescued Mithian's father—and I almost lost you." _I really should stop underestimating her_.

Feeling a little ashamed, I didn't look at her. "He must be punished for Sir Ranulf's death."

"You have several good men who can get revenge for you."

I leaned on the table. "He wasn't only a knight, Guinevere, he was a friend. We grew up together. I _have_ to go." _Now to cheer her_. "Don't worry. I'll be in safe hands. As you say, I have several good knights." A knock on the door sounded.

"Yes?" I called.

The door opened and Mordred stepped part way through. "You wanted to talk to me, sire?"

"Ah, Mordred, come in, come in. It's time for you to go with your king."

He walked over to the table where I was standing. "My lord?"

"I would like you to accompany me on a patrol to the White Mountains."

The look on his face was priceless. "_Me?_ To Brechfa?" He glanced at Guinevere, who smiled at him.

"Congratulations."

"This is a huge honor. I . . ."

I briefly clapped his upper arm. "You've earned this chance. Be prepared to go at first light."

"I will be, my lord." He walked to the door before turning to say, "You won't be sorry for this. I swear." He closed the door.

"He has the potential to be a fine knight," I told Guinevere.

She smiled. "It looks like you've gotten fond of him."

I couldn't help smiling back at her. "It's something I do."

xxxXxxx

When I was ready in the morning, I walked out to the courtyard where everyone, even Merlin, was waiting. I heard Gwaine, Leon, Elyan, and Percival laughing at something as I walked past them to my horse.

"Are you certain this is a wise idea?" Merlin asked. He pointed at Mordred.

We watched him mount his horse. "He's a decent fighter, a courageous knight," I replied.

"He's untested."

"Merlin, would any of us be where we are, if nobody had given us a break?" I got on my horse and nudged it into a walk. "Gentlemen!" I called the knights back to order. Guinevere stood at the bottom of the steps; I noticed her waylay Merlin.

"Merlin!" I yelled to get him moving. We couldn't wait all day.

Once we were out of the lower town, we started to gallop. We rode until we were a good distance into the woods. After we started to walk the horses I heard Leon say, "It's a tradition."

"Goes back years," Elyan added.

"Everyone has to do it on their first patrol," Percival said. _Oh, they were at it again with Mordred_.

"Mordred, what in the world are you doing?" I asked, then looked around at him, sitting backwards in the saddle. I turned back around so he couldn't see my grin.

"Molding the saddle, my lord," the young knight replied.

"As in the respected tradition . . . of molding," Gwaine explained.

"Certainly. I assume your trousers are on inside out?" I asked.

"My lord?" He sounded more than a little confused. Everyone laughed and we rode on.

A little while later, Gwaine held up a hand to halt us. He dismounted and looked at the ground. "It's Osgar. He's nearby."

Everyone dismounted and we tethered the horses to continue the search on foot. Percival, walking along the tree line, found broken foliage and brought it back to me. "He's getting sloppy."

"Sire?" Mordred said, pointing down the path with his sword. A figure in a brown robe darted into the trees.

We all started running. Gwaine and Elyan ran in the direction he was going in to hopefully intercept him. Leon and Percival went in the other direction. Mordred, Merlin and I kept to the center path. When I heard footsteps behind us, I whirled around and yelled, "Stop!" Mordred and I raised our swords.

"Sire . . . My name is Osgar." He stopped and dropped into a bow, then fell to his knees. _Was he wounded?_

"I'm familiar with you," I told him. We continued advancing on him.

"The sacred Disir sent me to pass judgment on Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King." _There's that phrase again_.

"What right do you have to judge him?" Mordred asked. _Did he understand what Osgar was trying to say?_

"No one is above the Disir—however royal. It's my task to deliver their verdict to you, great King." He reached into his robe and Mordred ran closer; he put his sword to Osgar's neck. "My holy duty." He pulled out a large coin. I looked over at Mordred to signal him to stand down. "Your hand . . . Arthur Pendragon." I walked closer and he placed the coin in my waiting palm. "It's completed." He stared at me oddly. I didn't understand the reasoning for this.

"What does this mean?" I asked him.

"It is both judgment and fate. You have fought the people of the Old Religion. Now the old gods act in response to you. The Disir have spoken. The circle of fate has started to close. For even as Camelot flowers, the seeds of her destruction are being sown."

Ominous words, but how could I believe them coming from a sorcerer? I glanced briefly at Mordred and Merlin, but they seemed not to know either. "What absurdity is this?"

Osgar reached out to get my attention. "You still have time, Arthur. Time to find the right way. Save yourself. You'll have no more chances." He collapsed to the ground, still holding out his hand. I walked closer to him to check for signs of life. He breathed a couple more times before becoming still. No pulse.

I asked Merlin to take the body into the woods so it was off the path. He was gone for a bit longer than he should have been, so I sent Mordred after him. They returned just after Percival and Leon had caught up with me. Gwaine and Elyan were still missing, so we all went to find them.

Both were lying unconscious on the ground. When woken, they told us how they'd confronted Osgar. He'd magically tossed their swords away, and when Gwaine stabbed him with his dagger, he'd tossed them too. They were beat up but could walk, so we went back to the horses to camp for the night.

Once everything was set up, I asked Merlin to look at Elyan's and Gwaine's injuries. Elyan had gotten away with a few bruises but Gwaine's dislocated shoulder took more work. Finally they finished, and I heard Merlin say, "The swelling should decrease by morning."

And Gwaine's reply, "I hope so."

"How are they?" I asked when Merlin walked past me to the fire.

"I've applied poultices. They'll heal quickly," he replied.

"You're a capable physician, Merlin," Mordred complimented.

"I've just paid attention to Gaius."

"He also cooks a really good breakfast, as you'll find out, eh, Merlin?" I said, but he didn't reply. "Now I've upset him," I whispered to Mordred, who laughed quietly. "Move closer, Merlin, warm up, have a drink. To young Mordred—and his first official mission." The knights and I toasted him.

"It was nothing," Mordred said. He was too modest.

"It was well-timed and perceptive." Merlin hadn't participated in the toast and hadn't said anything. "Merlin!"

"Congratulations," Merlin finally said, without feeling. _What was wrong with him?_

"If he died and was given everlasting bliss, I think he'd find a way to be depressed. Come, Merlin, we've won." Something was _definitely_ bothering him.

"Osgar could have killed you without difficulty," he stated.

_Well _that's_ cheerful_. "But here I am, alive." _He's killing my good mood_.

"He was a sorcerer; he was quite capable of it." _And again_.

"He was disturbed."

"And the runemark?" _That coin?_ I picked it up.

"A bauble—that's all. Here." I tossed it to him; he actually _caught_ it and started examining it. "I'll have the jeweler prepare it as a souvenir of our victory."

A little while later, we all went to bed. Everyone was mentally or physically beat up, it seemed, so we needed our rest. In the morning, we took our time getting ready to go. Merlin looked a bit more cheerful but still didn't say much. He probably hadn't had enough time to imagine my doom yet.

The trip back to Camelot didn't take long, but it left my sullen servant more than enough time to brood. As we dismounted and walked into the castle, he didn't say a word—just strode in ahead of me as if he had something better to do.

"Are you feeling well, Merlin?" I asked him.

"Yes, my lord," he replied without stopping. Since _when_ did he say "my lord?"

"It's just—I've come to notice your face looking like the rear end of a cat." No response; that was almost insulting. "Wow, you don't even laugh at my jokes any longer. Really. . ." I stopped and he did too, amazingly. "You haven't smiled much these past few days."

"I'm not certain there's anything to smile about." I rolled my eyes and blew out a sigh. He'd be a tough nut to crack. He continued on to Gaius's chamber while I went into mine.

Shortly after I'd changed and freshened up a bit, Merlin came back to ask me to visit Gaius. He must have given the coin to the physician, who could provide more answers. Of course Merlin _could_ _have_ jaded him too. I guess I'd have to see.

When I came into his chambers, Gaius stood. "Sire, thanks for coming. Please." He gestured for me to sit and I did so.

"I hope Merlin doesn't have you believing this absurdity too, Gaius," I told him.

He sat down and Merlin came to stand next to him. "This is a runemark, my lord."

I wanted to roll my eyes again, but just glanced at Merlin. He folded his arms and stared back stubbornly. "So everyone insists on saying."

"In times of yore, seeing this mark caused extreme dread. It was presented to those deemed unrepentant by the court of the Disir."

"The Disir?" Merlin asked before I could.

"The highest court of the Old Religion." At that phrase I had to force myself to not tune him out. "Three women were selected at birth to be trained as seers and soothsayers. Their sole duty was to clarify the words of the Triple Goddess. When they sat in judgment, their word was absolute."

"This decrepit superstition has no significance now. I don't see how it could affect me _or_ Camelot."

I could see he was trying to not feel slighted I'd insulted his former beliefs. "Because, sire, the Disir have deigned to give you this. It is the judgment of the gods against you."

_He was taking this seriously?_ "This is . . . _rubbish_, isn't it?"

"The Old Religion believed that the runemark didn't just contain a man's guilt but the course that the gods had laid for him. That is why it is both judgment _and_ fate."

I stood while he was talking. "I choose my own course." I'd started walking away.

"Do you?" I stopped and looked back at him. "They say that only the gods can change a man's fate . . . And even then, only after he repents and pacifies them." _Maybe his beliefs _aren't_ in the past_.

I walked back to him. "You don't think any of this is true? _Gaius?_"

He didn't say anything for a few moments, but glanced at Merlin. "I am an old man, sire. Old enough to beware of setting aside other peoples' beliefs." That didn't answer my question, but I'd had enough. I picked up the coin and stared at it, turning it around in my hand. I looked back at Gaius; his expression hadn't changed. If he was wary of it, maybe that was reason enough to be wary myself.

I marched myself back to my chambers. Merlin followed after a few minutes, though I got the feeling he didn't particularly want to be near me. But it was nearly time for dinner and I had to change clothes, so he was going to hear me rant while I wandered about the room.

"Haven't I made Camelot a decent and honorable kingdom?" I asked him.

"Indeed, my lord," he replied. _More "my Lord" stuff. Where's his honest opinion when I actually want it?_

"Haven't I freed it of the harshness and prejudices of the past?"

"You have." _Come on_.

"I am not my father."

"No." _Be outspoken_.

"So why do they judge me like this?" I did actually want to know and he seemed to know more than he was saying.

"I don't think I'm the one to ask." _Yep, still upset. Too bad_.

"I am asking you . . . Merlin. Man to man." I crossed directly in front of him, to look him right in the eye.

"Maybe they think you're sufficiently worthy to be judged." That sounded like a guess.

"What does that mean?" _Explain_.

"Judgment is pointless to a . . . man who won't heed it." _True_.

_Hmm_. "You believe I should listen to them?"

"I believe you have already." He was silent as I pondered that. Then, "If there's nothing else . . .?"

"No. Thank you." I thought for a moment he had come out of his ill humor, but maybe not.

xxxXxxx

After dinner I sat brooding in my chambers. _Great, now Merlin's mood was rubbing off on me_. I simply sat at my desk, fiddling with the coin in my hand. That's where Guinevere found me when she returned for the night.

"Arthur? I assumed you'd be hungry. You didn't eat anything at dinner," she said while setting a tray of food in front of me. _I still wasn't hungry_.

"Thank you. That was nice," I replied, still distracted.

She sat on the desk. "He was a disturbed, wretched man. You said so yourself." She'd misunderstood my distraction, but it _was_ related.

"Merlin was correct—he could have taken my life but instead he felt it was more urgent to give me this, and he gave his life to do so."

"Who can understand the mind of a zealot?"

She was trying to help, but still wasn't right. "I didn't see that in his eyes, Guinevere. There was no hate there. It was something different— sympathy almost. Why would a sorcerer feel sympathy for a king?"

I was about to sink back into my brooding when she said, "Please, eat something."

I put the coin down, suddenly struck by something. "What if the Disir are correct? What if I have gone astray in some manner? Suppose I have put Camelot at risk?"

"Arthur, you are a worthy and fair king."

I looked at her, glad she believed it, but I wasn't sure. "The Disir don't seem to think so."

She got down from the desk and put her hands on my shoulders. "That's because they don't understand you as I do. If they did, they'd feel nothing but love." She kissed my head and whispered other reassurances of her affection to me. I let her think her efforts had worked, but they hadn't. Not really.

My mind continued to turn thoughts over and over, examining them. Trying to reconcile them, all night. Finally near dawn, with no sleep, I got up and dressed. There was only one way to find the answers and only one person knew how to find it. _Them_.

I quietly left my chambers and strode down to Gaius's. I didn't knock so much as pound on the door. _That should have woken _one_ of them up_. I heard voices inside and pounded again.

Gaius opened the door. "My lord, I . . ."

I got right to the point. "Where can the Disir be found?"

"Sire, I . . ."

I didn't have the patience for his protests. "Gaius, you're the only one who knows where to find them."

"Until yesterday I wasn't aware they still existed."

"But they do. As we can see." I held up the coin. "So again, where can they be found?"

"Sire, I don't believe it's prudent for you . . ."

_That's enough_. "Gaius, do I look like a man to mess with?"

He sighed, but gave in to me. "They say that the Disir prophesy using an ancient pool. In turn, its source is the hallowed spring at Caerlanrigh. The fount of the spring is a grove of yew trees in the White Mountains. The Grove of Brineved."

I felt tension drain from me. "Thank you." Looking at Merlin, I said, "We depart within the hour." I turned and left the room, trusting he'd be ready on time.

When he showed up at my chambers in fifteen minutes, I knew he'd taken me seriously. He helped me dress and finished my packing, then took off to ready our horses. By the time I got to the courtyard, he and the knights were waiting with their laden mounts.

I was adjusting a few things when I heard someone leading a horse come up behind me. "My lord, you journey to the White Mountains?" It was Mordred; I shouldn't be surprised.

"Yes," I told him without turning around.

"Then I respectfully request to go with you."

_I should have expected this too_. "This isn't for the untried, Mordred."

"Didn't I serve you well?"

"You did."

"I wish to do so again."

_He needed an explanation_. I turned to face him. "It is no simple sorcerer this time, Mordred. Our task is perilous —in ways we probably can't imagine."

"So you'll want worthy men with you." He was making a case for himself. "Allow me to serve and to do my duty."

I glanced at Merlin, who looked away. He wouldn't like this, but he didn't have to. "Merlin! Make sure he has what's needed." He nodded and walked off to procure the supplies.

Once Mordred was outfitted, we mounted up and rode out of Camelot. It wasn't a long journey, but would be strenuous for the horses—lots of hills. Gradually we were able to look down on the grove, which looked peaceful enough. But I knew very well that looks could be deceiving.

xxxXxxx

We descended the hill and tethered the horses several yards shy of the grove. There were strange symbols hanging here and there, probably marking the supposedly holy ground. We climbed a small rise and saw a cave just a few yards away. I halted the group and told them, "Keep close. Remember your positions." We started walking again.

"My lord," Merlin said. He sounded kind of worried.

"What is it, Merlin?"

"This is sacred ground."

_Ohh-kay_. "It's a cave, Merlin."

"It's not just a cave."

_Really_. "One cave is like any other to me."

"You mustn't bring weapons into a sacred place!"

_What?! Seriously?_ "You think we'd go in there unarmed?" I didn't hide my disbelief. He looked at the cave then back at me. "Of every nonsensical thing that you've ever uttered, Merlin- and there's been several -that is the most nonsensical. _By far_." I walked past him and into the cave.

There were more decorations hanging there. I heard someone behind me take one down and drop it to the ground. We walked a fair distance until we saw three women standing on a ledge. They carried staves and wore hooded cloaks that covered their faces. "I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. I want to know the import of this." I held up the coin and tossed it toward their feet. "The Grove of Brineved lies in the kingdom of Camelot and is bound by its laws, its dictates. Every person, however lowly, however highborn, has the right to be judged only by his equals. But_ you_ judge me in absentia. Explain yourselves."

"We do not judge," the center one said.

"We do not condemn," the right one said.

"We are but the emissary of the one who governs over all," the left one said. After that I lost track of who said what, and it didn't seem to matter. They talked over one another.

"Who sees all."

"Who knows all."

"The Triple Goddess," they said together; it was _chilling_.

"And you, Arthur Pendragon, have enraged her."

"How so? Haven't I been a respectable king? Haven't I turned Camelot into a decent and honorable kingdom?" I asked.

"That much is correct."

"But you have rejected the Old Religion."

"Discarded its faith."

"Harassed its believers."

"Even unto murder."

"I oppose sorcery and superstition, that's all." Surely _that_ wasn't offensive.

"Accept the teachings of the Old Religion, Arthur. Or chance the anger of the Goddess."

"The ruin of all you value most."

"The end of your rule."

"The collapse of Camelot itself."

_How could they know all this? _"I object to being judged by people who don't know me."

"You are known, Arthur. You have been known for eons."

"And now you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the center of the Old Religion, with weapons ready."

"Treading on holy relics."

"Handling our sacred place as you do your kingdom—with arrogance."

"With pride."

"With impudence." _They were so angry, but how could I have known all this?_

Gwaine stepped forward and yelled, "Silence! He is the _King_!" With a nod, one of the women threw Gwaine backwards.

Percival drew his sword. That prompted everyone else to follow suit. "On me!" I yelled. Another of the Disir threw her staff at me like a spear. But before I could do anything, Mordred jumped in front of me, took the staff in the chest and went down. "Merlin!" I yelled. He came over and helped lift Mordred. "Fall back!" I yelled next, telling everyone to _leave_. Merlin lagged behind, but when he ran out he came right over to Mordred to examine him. "How is he?" I asked him.

"This is no simple injury. Magic is involved," he said.

"Can you do anything for him?"

He didn't speak for a few moments. "This is beyond my knowledge, sire." He paused again then shook his head. "We must take him back to Camelot." _To Gaius_.

"That is a long and difficult trip. What if he doesn't live through it?" I could feel myself start to panic.

"Look," he said and touched my arm. Oddly enough, that calmed me. "I'm afraid that Gaius is the only person who can help him."

I turned to yell back at the rest of my men behind me. "Mount up. We're returning to Camelot." Everyone readied themselves quickly and we were on our way, galloping until sunset. The fact that we had to wait out the dark frustrated me, but there really was no choice.

In the process of setting up camp, Mordred was laid by the fire. I sat next to and watched over him. When Merlin had finished his usual tasks, he came over and bent to feel Mordred's forehead. "He's getting worse," I said. It wasn't a question, but a confirmation.

"Not much has changed," Merlin replied. He started walking away.

"I shouldn't have allowed him to come."

He stopped to say, "He wished to prove himself."

"And he did. He saved my life once again." I returned my gaze to Mordred. Merlin sat next to me but didn't say anything else.

In the morning, tasks were quickly completed, and we were again on our way to Camelot. It wasn't far, but I still felt weary as we walked the horses through the gate and into the courtyard. Several knights came from the door to Gaius's chambers and carried Mordred inside to him.

I followed them after I made sure everyone else was fine. Mordred lay on a bed and Gaius was examining his wound. He asked me for the story, listening closely. Then he sat across the bed from me, Merlin stood behind me. "Merlin is correct. This is no average injury. There is magic at work," he concluded.

_Damn_. "Can you help him?" I asked.

"I am but a physician—my knowledge has limits."

_I can't stop trying_. "Surely there is something that can be done."

"Maybe. I will do everything within my knowledge, sire."

I stood. "Please tell me the instant he progresses . . . or . . ." I glanced at him.

He understood perfectly. "I will." I forced myself to leave. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stay with Mordred; I had to do _something_.

xxxXxxx

I walked back to my chambers. Thankfully, Guinevere was waiting for me. She helped me take off my armor and poured me a glass of wine. I took it and wandered over to the window, where I leaned against the wall and sipped. But she could read my mind. "You're not to blame. He beseeched you to let him go—it was considerate to permit it."

"It was idiocy," I asserted.

"No."

"You informed me that Mordred had a powerful sense of duty."

"That's right."

"You told me he was impulsive too. I should've listened to you." I'd already determined that _no one_ could possibly make me feel better.

"No, you shouldn't have." She stepped over and grasped my arm; that forced me to look at her. "If Mordred hadn't gone, it might be you at Gaius's dying. Mordred performed his duty so you might perform yours . . . To be king." There was a knock on the door then.

"Yes?" I called.

The door opened. Gaius entered and bowed; Merlin was behind him. "Sire," Gaius said.

I walked closer to them, sitting the goblet on the table. "You have news?" The lack of response said a lot. "I felt that when we'd returned him to Camelot and your aid. . ."

He cut me off. "The staff that made his wound was formed with powerful sorcery." _Bad news_.

"Even so . . ."

He cut me off _again_. "The toxin that flows through his veins is beyond treatment." _Worse news!_

"There has to be . . . _something_ you can do!"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. Only the Disir themselves have the ability to counter their own sorcery. I'm afraid we must prepare ourselves for the worst."

My heart dropped then rose when I had an idea. "I'll go see them."

"Sire, I don't believe that is . . ."

I cut _him_ off. ". . . And plead for forgiveness." I looked at Merlin and started moving. "Ready the horses. We depart immediately." Gaius stepped out of the way and Merlin opened the door for me. This time it would be just the two of us. Less risk and less travel time.

Upon reaching the grove again, we tethered the horses in the same place and began walking to the cave. "Why do you venture so much for one man?" Merlin asked out of nowhere.

"I'd do the same for any knight," I replied.

"But, apparently, not for me." _Was that a hint of sarcasm?_

"_Really_, I would. Servants are hard to find —even shoddy ones."

"Aww, I'm touched." _He's coming back to his normal self_.

"Mordred saved my life. What greater obligation could one have?"

"The obligation to your citizens, to your destiny."

_Now he's getting too serious_. "It almost sounds like you care."

"Of course I care. About who you are, Arthur, who you're destined to become."

"If it's fated then it's not important what I do, it'll still come about." I stopped walking.

"Fate and destiny are not the same thing."

_Oh brother_. "You think too much Merlin. The situation is very simple. A brother-in-arms saves my life. So when he is in danger, it is my obligation to do everything I can to save him." I _think_ he got the picture, so I started walking again. When we got back to the grove, I paused. I pulled out my sword and laid it on a bush. I glanced at Merlin, who looked surprised but pleased. "I'm not completely inconsiderate, Merlin." I started walking again. "I realize that many people believe this is a sacred place. I'm even ready to allow that you're right on occasion." I thought for a moment. "Obviously I will deny I ever said that."

"Obviously."

And with that we walked into the cave, all the way to where the Disir waited for us. "Arthur Pendragon."

"King of Camelot."

"We have been waiting for you."

I walked a little closer and knelt. "My men and I acted with conceit and foolishness. We defiled this place and slighted your faith. I respectfully ask for your forgiveness." I paused a moment. "One among us, Sir Mordred . . . might still pay the ultimate price. I have come here to petition you for his life."

"Why should we aid you?" That was vicious, but not undeserved.

"I plead not for my benefit, but for a young man whose one fault was to give himself up for his king."

"The future contains much pain and anguish for you, Arthur Pendragon."

"For you and your people."

"If you want to protect everything you cherish."

"If you want to protect your kingdom."

"Accept the Old Religion."

"Follow her path."

"Yield to the Goddess."

_Harsh demands_. But I just can't accept a religion I know little about. Especially one that condones the use of magic. "You realize I cannot do that."

"Think carefully. You have until first light." _To choose between life and death for Mordred or my kingdom? How could I?_

Back outside the cave, we began to set up our bedrolls and lit a fire. Merlin left and came back with a second armful of wood. I asked him, "How did you recognize this place was hallowed?"

He looked surprised. "That's obvious," he replied, and crouched to sit the wood down.

"Assume it isn't."

He looked around the grove. "Everything here . . . is so filled with life. Every tree, every leaf . . ." I lifted my head up from where I was lounging. ". . . Every insect. It's like the earth is pulsing. Like everything is much _more_ than itself."

_He seemed totally transfixed_. "You sense all that?"

"Don't you?" I shook my head and the smile fell from his face. He got up and sat down on his bedroll. "What will you choose?"

"I don't know. My heart tells me to do whatever it takes to save Mordred." I had a hard time looking at him for some reason. "But I've witnessed what despair unfettered sorcery causes. Before my father banned magic, Camelot was nearly demolished by sorcery. During my time, Morgana has employed it for nothing except evil. What would you choose? In my position?"

"Me?" He seemed reluctant to answer. "I'm only a lackey, someone who cleans."

"Lackeys can be clever." _Was it the subject or did he really not know?_ "It's unlike you to be quiet."

"A kingdom's safety is at risk." He didn't look at me.

"And a man's life."

"You _have to_ defend Camelot. You have to defend the world you've given your life building—a free and upright kingdom for everyone." He hadn't hesitated then.

"You want me let a friend go?"

"I want you to become the king you are meant to be." _Not a direct answer_.

I sat up all the way. "If I _do_ save Mordred, the whole of my father's work will be for _nothing_. Sorcery will rule again in Camelot. Is that what you'd want?" He didn't respond but looked _very_ conflicted. "Maybe my father was mistaken, maybe the old ways aren't as evil as we'd believed. So what ought we to do? Allow magic? Or permit Mordred to die?"

I watched several emotions flit over his face and his eyes teared up. He glanced down, then back up. Finally he looked up and leaned forward, still hesitating before he spoke. "Magic can have no place in Camelot."

This somehow surprised me and _didn't_ surprise me. I didn't know how that was possible. I leaned back on my bedroll as disappointment washed through me. Disgust, anger and frustration followed soon after. The Disir had forced me into choosing between magic and peace, the good of the many versus the good of the one, and I hated it. I didn't imagine I'd get any sleep tonight, but I probably wouldn't be the only one.

The next morning, we packed up our things quickly. We wanted to get this trial over with and leave this place as soon as we could. Neither of us said a word as we returned to the cave. I did _not_ kneel this time.

"You have come again."

"Is your choice made?"

I hesitated a moment before speaking. "It is. I cannot do as you wish."

"Think carefully, Arthur Pendragon."

"This is your final opportunity to save all you hold dear."

"It will not be repeated."

I listened to them with some trepidation, but pressed on. "I have seen too much . . . to permit sorcery once more in Camelot."

"You have made your choice."

"Sealed your fate."

"And that of your kingdom."

"Goodbye. . . Arthur Pendragon," they said together. I took it as a dismissal, so I turned and left, Merlin followed.

Our ride back to Camelot went quickly . . . and silently, for the most part. When we were within sight of the citadel, Merlin finally spoke up. "You made the right decision."

"I sentenced a man to die," I replied.

"For the good of the kingdom."

I sighed. "He saved my life, Merlin. More than once."

"I know."

We'd fallen into silence again before we reached the courtyard. When we got to the steps, both of us dismounted and knights came to take our horses. I caught movement at the castle's entrance and glanced up. _Mordred_ walked outside, looking perfectly healthy and smiling broadly. I started walking toward him the same time as he came running down the steps. We grasped forearms and I brought him into a hug.

I don't know how he survived despite me making the "wrong" choice, but I didn't really care. I didn't know if this would doom Camelot after all, but I figured we'd fight whatever was thrown at us, and win. My depression lifted and I invited Mordred to spar with me on the training field. He won this time and I was so glad he was alive, I held him aloft in celebration. The smile on his face was worth _all_ the agony I'd had to go through.

* * *

**Next up, _The Dark Tower_. I think that's the only one I'll do with Evil!Gwen. I _really_ can't stand her! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for the long wait- I've been working other stories and had some family "stuff" creep up. So now I give you Arty's version of 5.6, _The Dark Tower_. **

**Mika271170- I hope you're well over your flu now, yuk! Thank you for your persistence and your reviews! :)**

* * *

I sat in my chambers waiting for Guinevere and Elyan (and the rest of the Round Table) to return from visiting their father's grave. I'd originally planned to go with them, but an emergency council session pulled me away. These days we took _any_ news about Morgana _very_ seriously.

Dinner had long been eaten by the time a knock sounded at my door. I knew it wasn't Merlin—after almost a decade he _still_ didn't knock. An out-of-breath page opened the door at my hail. The group had returned but two knights were injured. They'd already been taken to Gaius, so that's where I headed after sending the page away.

By the time I got there, I'd thought up all sorts of worst-case scenarios. But I wasn't prepared for reality. "What's wrong?" I asked the room at large. Elyan and Gwaine were standing by two beds; Gaius was between the beds.

"We were coming home and rode into a den of snakes," Elyan said.

I walked to the beds and saw Percival and Leon. Then I looked around the room, but saw no one else besides Merlin and the other three. "Where's my wife?" Everyone stood there looking at each other for a moment, but I'd had enough. "Where is Guinevere?"

"I warned her to flee. She got away . . ." Elyan said.

_What?! No one had looked after her?! There is no excuse for that! She knows these woods very well and should have been back by now. The fact that she isn't_ . . . I was beyond furious and left before I said something I'd regret. But someone had seen my fury—I heard footsteps behind me.

Sure enough, I heard a yell, "Arthur?" The only person to run _toward_ me when I was angry.

"We leave at first light," I told him without turning around or stopping. He'd understand.

xxxXxxx

Several uncounted minutes later, I heard my chamber door open. _How is it he always knows when I've cooled down enough to be reasoned with?_ I'd taken off my chainmail and was now going through some of Guinevere's things, hoping beyond hope I'd see her use them again. "Will you _ever_ learn to knock?"

Merlin began walking toward me. "Sorry sire." _At least he apologized_. "I thought you should know that Leon and Percival are all right. They'll recover quickly."

"That's good to hear."

"Arthur . . ." He paused; whatever he had to say next wasn't good. "There are signs of sorcery. Gaius believes Morgana is responsible."

I looked over at him. "You may leave Merlin . . ." Usually he ignored orders like that, but not this time. He started walking away when I actually wanted him to stay. "I've lost her before," I said.

He stopped at that and turned back. "You won't lose her now. You won't, we _will_ find her." He walked back over to me and held out his hand. "I promise." I clasped his offered hand. "We'll bring her back." He smiled then walked off to begin packing my things.

_What have I done to deserve such loyalty?_ It's a question I'd asked myself over and over again but had never found an answer. He always knew what to say and more and more I found myself actually _listening_. There was that mysterious _something_ about him that I'd never figured out either. It was almost as if he knew something I didn't. But I'd figure it out _sometime_.

xxxXxxx

We had no trouble leaving at dawn. I wondered when I'd stop feeling surprised at this. It was heartening to see that Percival and Leon had recovered enough to come along. They really _had_ recovered quickly, which seemed kind of odd for Morgana's work. But I counted myself lucky and we rode out.

We hadn't gotten down the road too far when Elyan spotted Guinevere's horse tethered to a tree. It was down another path, so we all rode over to it. Elyan got there first; the horse shied away but he calmed it enough to inspect the saddle. The girth had been snapped cleanly near the horse's belly.

We watched in stunned surprise as Elyan held it up. "Looks like she was yanked from her mount by a great force," Leon commented.

Percival had ridden down the trail a few yards. "Here. Prints. They're going east."

_Now we had a direction_. "Let's move," I ordered.

The trail led us uphill. We followed it for several hours, even into twilight. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving Guinevere in the hands of Morgana any longer than she already had. I didn't want to stop—I'd go on through the night, by myself, if I had to. Percival gradually dismounted and led his horse while examining the ground ahead of us.

Finally he said, "There's not enough light."

"We'll continue going east," I stated.

"We've lost the tracks," the voice of reason said from behind me. I didn't want to listen to him.

I made a decision. "So we'll go back over the prints." I turned my horse and began riding back the way we'd come.

"Arthur . . ." Merlin started. But I still wasn't going to listen. Behind me, I heard him say, "I'll speak with him." _Just perfect; my conscience was coming to reason with me_. I stopped to let him catch up, which he did in almost no time. "Sire?" he asked politely.

I didn't look back. "She could be close."

"I understand . . . but we need to work as one. We'll set up camp, make a fire and in the morning we'll find the trail again. Come."

I sat there looking out over the landscape. Guinevere was out there somewhere, and we had to spend another night apart. At least _I_ was reasonably safe, but _her_ . . . who knew what vile terror Morgana was putting her through? I heard Merlin start back to where we'd come, then pause—waiting for me. _He was right_. Gradually I turned around and followed him back to where the knights were setting up camp.

True to his word, Merlin got a fire going and began cooking dinner. I plopped myself down in front of it, trying not to think of why I was here. I'd had some success until I heard a twig snap behind me. I turned to look and saw Elyan standing by a tree, brooding. He was facing away from us and I could tell that he was fighting the same monster I was—guilt.

I thought for a moment then got up and walked over to him. "Elyan."

"If I'd stayed near her . . ."

I walked around him to look into his face. "You saved Percival and Leon . . ."

He finally looked at me. "And abandoned my own sister."

"We can't hold ourselves responsible."

"She brought me up . . . you wouldn't get it."

"I do."

"If it wasn't for her I don't know what I'd be. It's hard to explain."

"Don't worry about it." I put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him along as I walked back to the fire. He came along willingly and I put my arm around him. Now he knew he wasn't the only one suffering.

Eventually we all laid our bedrolls around the fire and fell asleep one by one. It felt like no time had passed when something jolted me wide awake. It was a terrified yell that was echoed at least twice. I heard panicked breathing and saw Percival, Leon and Gwaine sitting up. As I sat up, Merlin rose and walked over to Leon.

"It's okay," he told the distressed knight. He then crouched in front of him.

"The tower. Everything around it . . . was dead. The noise, it was like . . . like children crying," Leon stuttered out.

Surprisingly, Percival continued the thought. "The rain was like blood. I dreamed the same thing. I got lost in a wood, the trees were clawed, and when I finally got free, there was a plain . . ." He stared at Leon.

Leon continued. ". . . Barren as far as one can see, but . . ."

". . . Past the skyline was a dark column of stone."

"The pillar was so black it could consume the sun."

This was, unfortunately, a familiar story to me. "The dark tower." Merlin turned while the rest looked at me, "A site each new knight is taught to fear and justifiably so. Several have met their end there."

"I've never heard of it," Merlin said.

"There's a reason. They say that just mentioning it can end in doom for those who hear it," I told him. Everyone but Gwaine exchanged glances of gloom.

Gwaine pulled his dagger from his belt and plunged it into the ground next to him. "How about we don't mention it again? I was dreaming about eating a cheese that tasted like apple pie. Did any of you have that dream?" Whether he'd intended to or not, he'd successfully diverted everyone's attention away from doom. We were now staring at him as if he'd lost his mind; it was a familiar action. When no one replied, he continued, "Well, you're all losing out." He settled back down on his bedroll.

Elyan, Percival and Leon did the same. But I gave Merlin that look that said _time to talk_. I got up and walked away from the knights. After pausing to pick up his water skin, Merlin came to me. "How could they have the same dream?" I asked him.

"The venom . . . must still be flowing through their veins," he offered.

_That wasn't quite right_. "But the same dream?"

"Arthur, Morgana summoned those snakes; they'd be dead if that's what she wanted."

The suspicion I'd had nearly a day ago came back. "What do you mean?"

"She left those images in their minds. It's a trap; she is leading you to your death."

_Of course. Haven't I known that all along?_ "And the tower? She's taken Guinevere there."

He had no answer. I tried to shake off the growing sense of doom, and suggested we go back to bed. He agreed and we both lay down again. I didn't think I'd get back to sleep; my worry had increased exponentially.

xxxXxxx

I must have fallen asleep eventually, because the next thing I knew was opening my eyes to sunshine. While everyone woke and gathered around the fire to eat and warm up, I began to ponder. I continued to ponder as we started packing to leave. When I'd made up my mind, I strode to the center of activity.

"I've decided to travel to the dark tower. I believe that Guinevere is being held there. I'm not sure what evils will be waiting so I'm going alone." I glanced around, meeting everyone's eyes to make sure they knew I meant it.

"No," Elyan said as he stood.

"Thanks, but I've made my choice."

He walked toward me. "You can't shut me out Arthur, she's my sister." I gave in and nodded.

Percival stood. "Or me. She's our Queen."

Leon stood too. "And our friend."

"She's a woman in a tower. A damsel in distress. I was _made_ for this moment," Gwaine said, also standing.

This reminded me of the original Round Table meeting all those years ago. And just like then, Merlin was the last to speak. I looked at him. "You can go home Merlin."

Unlike the first time, he didn't hesitate. "I gave you my word, remember?"

This was one of those epically touching moments where, if I'd been Merlin, I'd probably have burst into tears. I hadn't asked them to come or continue on with me, but they wanted to anyway. I don't know why they were so devoted, but I didn't have time to contemplate it. We had a queen to save.

We left after the horses had been loaded up. Again we rode all day; sunset wasn't far off when we came to a cliff overlooking our obstacles. We stopped and stared out at the view—right in front of us was the Impenetrable Forest. Beyond it lay the Dolorous Plains and in the distance, the Dark Tower.

"The dark tower," I pointed out.

"How do we get there?" Merlin asked.

"By way of the impenetrable forest."

"But it's . . ."

Gwaine cut him off. "Impenetrable."

"Right. It looks impossible to get through."

"We have to." I ended the discussion. It was moot anyway; _I_ wasn't going to stop.

We rode down to the edge of the forest and quickly discovered that the horses wouldn't make it through. Everyone tethered their own mount to something sturdy and we started through the forest. Vines grew over and around the trees, so everyone drew a sword and started hacking them down. Some had vicious thorns. At one point, Gwaine's cloak caught on one of those. He yelled as he swung around, twisting until his cloak ripped. Everyone stopped where they were to look back at him, concerned. He whipped his head around and said, "Carry on." We stopped staring and continued forward.

It seemed like we'd been in the forest for days when I heard the sound of metal shattering. When I turned to look, Percival was holding a broken sword. "Dull anyway," he said and tossed it to the ground. Merlin, behind him, handed him another one.

"Don't hang about," I told the group.

"We've gone off course," Percival protested.

"We'll continue going north," I said.

"Which direction is north?" Gwaine asked.

"The ivy. Lighter leaves face south, darker leaves face north." _Doesn't everyone know that?_

What felt like an eternity later, we came to a small clearing on a hill. We could see the rest of the forest and the dark tower, not too far away. "We're going the right way," Leon guessed.

"We'll arrive at the tower by sunset. Let's step it up," I ordered.

Everyone trooped after me. We kept walking, hacking and climbing for several hours. At one point, Leon stopped and looked up at the sun's position. "We should have gotten through the forest by now."

I saw something red hanging from a vine. "Look." I walked over to it and yanked it off. This couldn't be possible, and yet, here it was—the piece of Gwaine's cloak that had torn off.

"What is it?" Gwaine asked as he walked over to me. I turned and wordlessly showed him the piece of cloak. He lifted his cloak to check it; we all saw the hole where the bit I was holding had been.

"How is that possible?" Elyan asked.

"We've gone in a circle," I started, my temper flaring. "We have _thrown away_ a whole _day_!" I yelled, picking up my sword and throwing it so it stabbed into the ground. _This is _so_ frustrating! _By now everyone was staring at me and my frustration dissolved into despondency.

"Let's stop for the night. Get some sleep and continue fresh in the morning," Leon suggested. I didn't actually care at that point; the whole day had been spent going _nowhere_. Guinevere was probably being tortured right now and I could do _nothing_ about it. I sunk to the ground, feeling more miserable and defeated than I have ever before.

I heard footsteps walking away and some coming closer; I didn't look up until I heard a voice. "I did give you my word, _remember?_ We _will_ bring her home." He left to help the others. It was just as well—I didn't want to drag him down.

It didn't take Merlin and the others long to set up a camp for the night. They'd cleared enough space for bedrolls and he'd started dinner. No one spoke much as we ate and bedded down for the night. I still didn't have much hope for tomorrow; maybe I had to lean on someone else's.

xxxXxxx

We got up and moving in the morning without any fuss. As we began hacking through the vines again, I stopped and said, "We have to get to the clearing where we could see the Dolorous Plains."

"But which way do we go?" Elyan asked. That was a good question; I wasn't sure anymore.

"North," Merlin said unexpectedly. We all looked up at him. "Please . . . I know I can guide us out. I'd never do anything to risk Gwen's life; I'll get us to the dark tower. I am sure. I realize what Gwen means to you and all of us." I looked at my fellow knights; they seemed as dubious as I was. Merlin noticed. "We have to travel north."

"Which direction is that _Mer_lin?" I asked, since he seemed to suddenly know everything.

He pointed behind him and said, "That way."

"No it's . . ." I looked up at the sun; it chose that moment to shine down on my sword. It was stuck in the ground and cast a shadow that led me to point . . . in the same direction that Merlin had. "That way. How the hell did you figure that?!"

"By the smell. You can smell the sea when the wind blows from the north."

That had to be the _strangest_ explanation I'd ever heard from him. "That's absurd."

He looked right into my eyes. "Believe me this one time?" Strangely enough, I found that I did.

And I wasn't the only one. "Arthur . . . let him try," Elyan said quietly.

"Do we have any choice?" Leon added.

Merlin turned and began pushing on through the forest. I drew my sword and began following him; it was odd being behind him for once. He moved quite quickly, which further helped me believe he was telling the truth. Not too long after we started, he paused in a small clearing and looked around. I had no idea what he was really doing, so I asked him, "Are you certain this is the path Merlin?"

He didn't reply, but started moving again without warning. The rest of us really had to move to keep him in sight. When he paused again, I heard Percival bend over and pick something up. _His broken sword_. "Merlin, you're brilliant," he said, but the servant didn't reply. He'd started moving again before Percival had finished speaking.

After a couple minutes, Merlin stopped. It was the clearing where we'd seen the dark tower. I had no more doubts about him leading the way. I clapped him on the shoulder and asked, "Where now?"

He pointed to the left and was off again, at a run. This time he _did_ slip out of sight for a minute. When I saw him next, he'd paused again and appeared to be looking intently at something. Before I could say anything, he darted off again to the right. He looked back once before continuing through the mist. When I looked up again, he'd stopped; we'd reached the plain. Everyone stopped and stared at it and the tower in the distance. _Wow_.

"How far away is it?" Elyan asked.

"Anyway, we can see where we're going now," Gwaine added.

"Then let's not stand here looking at it," I decided. That snapped everyone out of their trances and they followed my lead out onto the plains.

xxxXxxx

It didn't take long for me to conclude that the term "plain" was a huge misnomer. But "dolorous" was right on. There was nothing growing out here, just gravel. And the stuff went on and on over hills and dry ditches. It seemed as endless as the forest had been, only nothing protected us from the sun—I could _see_ the heat rising from the ground.

I could tell that we _were_ getting closer though; the tower slowly increased in size. After a few hours, I heard someone stop. Percival had sat on the ground and pulled off a boot. Even several yards away I could see the massive blister on his foot. I hated to cause him discomfort, but we just couldn't stop for this. "We don't have time to rest," I told him.

He was already putting his boot back on when he said, "I'm okay." I turned and led the group forward again.

We were walking along the edge of a ditch when I heard some of the gravel slip. "Merlin!" Percival yelled. I turned and watched Merlin tumble down the slope, somehow managing to avoid impaling himself upon a derelict sword. We all noticed the _other_ things in the ditch—bones, mail and clothing from those _not_ as lucky as he. He righted himself and quickly climbed back up the slope, taking the hand Percival had offered to help him.

I felt insensitive again, but said anyway, "We need to keep going." I turned back around and started walking again. The sound of footsteps behind me told me they were following.

The amount of dead knights and their detritus increased the closer we got to the tower. It was _not_ encouraging. The only good thing about this scene was that we could now see individual doors and windows in the tower.

After an uncertain amount of time, we reached the entrance to the Dark Tower. The evidence of death was everywhere now. We paused a few yards from the entrance; I looked up at the forbidding thing. _It wasn't going to get any less sinister by staring at it_. I drew my sword, prompting the others behind me to do so as well. I took the first step into the unknown.

After the first few yards, the light from outside had dwindled into darkness. I paused a moment to adjust, then continued forward. We finally came to a staircase leading upward, and started climbing. A few moments later, Merlin said, "This feels wrong." I stopped to look at him; he _could_ have a valid concern. "It's too simple."

_Or not_. "You're never happy," I told him, but he didn't reply. I turned back and kept climbing. There was a board in our path and I pulled it out of our way. The action disturbed a thick mess of cobwebs and a skeleton attached to it fell toward us. Both Merlin and I jumped, startled. Maybe the stress would kill us before Morgana could.

Elyan pushed past us to continue up the stairs. After a minute or so, I heard him yell, "Arthur!" I let go of the skeleton and ran up the stairs, the others behind. I pushed open a door and ran in only to halt when Elyan cried "Stop!"

I heard a sound like a crossbow firing behind me. Percival's cry of pain prompted me to turn to look at him. I took a step forward only to hear another bolt being fired. I watched it hit the wall. "No one move. Wait right where you are," I said.

"What set it off?" Leon asked. Percival, on the floor, pulled the bolt out of his leg.

"The tiles, they must react to weight," I guessed. The one I'd stepped on had depressed.

"Here, I'll try this." Elyan drew his sword and tossed it on the stone next to him. He dodged the two bolts that flew at him.

Seeing his success, Merlin took off his belt and said, "I'll go first." He tossed it to a tile; when nothing happened, he jumped onto it. The rest of us copied his method.

"I'll go on," Elyan decided, and continued toward the door.

"No, Elyan," I ordered.

He kept going, not listening. When he reached the door, he stopped to say, "It's my fault we're here. I need to do this." He pushed through the door and was gone.

"Elyan!" I yelled after him, frustrated that I couldn't stop him. The rest of us quickened our pace across the floor, but I had a bad feeling we wouldn't reach him in time. In time for what, I couldn't say.

We all reached the door at about the same time. I impatiently shoved it open and ran up the stairs to find _another_ door. I threw it open and looked in only to see Guinevere kneeling on the floor. She was holding Elyan's head on her lap; he wasn't moving. I ran to her while the rest of our group rushed in behind me. The rest of the world stopped turning at that moment; Guinevere looked utterly inconsolable. There was nothing I could do to help her; I felt as lost as she looked. I've only felt like this once in my life, and I knew I had to do the same thing now that I did then—put aside my grief and keep going. Take charge, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

I motioned to the knights behind me to come forward. I put my arm around Guinevere and whispered some comforting words; I can't remember what exactly. Leon and Percival picked up Elyan's body and began carrying him out of the tower. I stood, keeping my arm around Guinevere and helping her stand. Merlin came over to help, putting his arms around her in comfort.

We helped her navigate her way through the tower and outside. It was dark, but I think we all wanted to be far from there. The knights took turns carrying Elyan, and we walked well away from the tower. Eventually we took shelter in one of the ditches, using what was there to feed a fire.

In the morning, we got going without much talk. We continued in the same manner as we'd started yesterday, the knights rotating who carried Elyan. That's the way the rest of our journey back to Camelot went. I think all of us would have preferred a couple days' worth of sleep, but we carried on and prepared for Elyan's funeral. This time we had a body to send off for a proper funeral at lakeside.

Elyan was arranged on a bed of plants in a boat. Guinevere pushed him out into the lake. When he was a fair distance away, a longbowman fired a flaming arrow into the boat, as was tradition.

All of the knights and most of the regulars stood on the shore with us, watching. When I felt it was time, I walked down to Guinevere and put an arm around her. Even in mourning she looked beautiful and composed. I knew it would be difficult for her, but I also knew she'd be able to go on.

* * *

**Oooh dun dun duuuuuun! Because I still cannot stand evil!Gwen, I'm skipping to 5.9 (I also can't stand poisoned!Merlin or poisoned!Arty and the knights being all "duhhhh" about it). Plus . . . the _Dolma_. Who doesn't love "her?" Priceless!**


	7. Chapter 7

**At last, the Dolma! I had a lot of fun with this one and I hope you'll enjoy it too. :) Here's 5.9, _With All My Heart_. Review replies:**

**Linorien: Thank you! I hope I did "her" justice. :)**

**Guest: Thanks! Yeah, he should've been more worried; but he is emotionally stunted. Maybe it was coming out as anger? He was definitely angry. :)**

**Mika271170: Ah, I see. I actually started watching after the show ended, so I felt the same irritation, just in a shorter time frame. I totally wanted to see the golden age, the whole acceptance of magic, but no, they had to be rude. :P No, I agree he should've been more concerned for her; maybe he was internalizing it?**

* * *

Merlin had been acting oddly since the whole debacle with the Sarrum. Well, oddly for _him_. Maybe the death of that boy was still upsetting him. But that doesn't explain why he's avoiding Guinevere whenever possible. And if he has to be in the same room with her, I see him glare at her before he can hide it. She was his first friend here and they've been close ever since. I wish I knew what had happened between them.

Two days after I sent the Sarrum's entourage home, Merlin came to me and asked to speak with me alone. That wasn't like him _either_; he usually just blurted out whatever it was he wanted to say. But ever since Morgana had reappeared, he's been quieter, pensive. And this time, I noticed.

Once we were alone, he proceeded to tell me a story. He said that Guinevere has been different since we'd returned from the Dark Tower. Then he began telling me what she's done—I didn't want to believe him. All the attempts to kill me. The attempts to kill _him_. Lying. Manipulation. Passing information to Morgana. He said at first he thought it was her grief over Elyan that had changed her, but now he knew without a doubt that Morgana had done something to her in the Dark Tower.

I ranted and raved for a while. Threw out insults and other colorful words. But in the end, I listened as he went into more detail about Guinevere's misdeeds. And I agreed to follow her with him the next time she left our room at night. Unfortunately, that opportunity arrived much sooner that I would have liked. It was the next night after we'd talked.

I'd pretended to be asleep when she got up a couple hours after we'd retired. I waited until I couldn't hear her footsteps in the corridor, then got up and dressed in a hurry. Then I ran down to Gaius's chambers to pick up Merlin. Catching up with her wasn't a problem; watching her embrace Morgana and hand over a sealed scroll _was_.

I couldn't hear them, but I could imagine what they were saying. The thought infuriated me and I drew my sword as a prelude to confronting the two women. The fact that Morgana could throw me before I took two steps didn't matter.

As usual, my voice of reason stopped me with a loud whisper. "No, my lord! Morgana's too strong. This isn't the time."

I leaned back against the tree I was hiding behind. "Why would she do this?"

"She isn't the Gwen you married. She's become victim to an evil and powerful magic."

Despair hit me. "I can't lose her; I'd lose _everything_."

"We'll figure out how to bring her back, Arthur. I swear." _Didn't he say that to me a few weeks ago?_

He then suggested we leave and I didn't protest. I was feeling a mix of several different emotions and was lost in them the entire walk back. When I next looked up, we were standing at my chamber doors. I apologized for ignoring him the whole walk back. He just gave me a sympathetic look and assured me he and Gaius would find out that had happened to Guinevere and how we could help her.

I thanked him and went into my chambers. I took off my mail and boots then climbed back into bed. But I couldn't sleep, so I lay there with my eyes closed, thinking. Not long later, Guinevere returned and crawled back into bed. I noted that she didn't curl up next to me, not that I wanted that, not with what I knew now.

If I was lucky, Merlin and Gaius would find the answers before the waiting killed me.

xxxXxxx

Morning's arrival didn't bring any clarity or relief. I somehow had to face my wife and pretend there was nothing wrong, that I didn't know what I knew. And I was angry about it. Angry at her, angry at the situation, but mostly angry at Morgana. It was extremely difficult to watch Guinevere as she woke up, got dressed and sat down to breakfast. I wasn't handling the anger very well and it probably showed on my face. But if she noticed she didn't say anything. Neither of us said anything.

She broke the silence with: "I think I may go for a ride this morning."

I hurriedly composed my face. "Yes?"

"Maybe you'd like to come with me?" She smiled enticingly.

"I can't; I'm sorry." _It's what I'd be tempted to do._

"Oh. Maybe later then?"

"Maybe." I managed to smile back.

"Is everything okay Arthur?"

I looked up at her. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"You look preoccupied." She'd noticed I wasn't eating.

"It's nothing. Just urgent concerns of state. I'm sorry."

"I see. Anything I can help with?"

I shook my head slowly. "Thank you, but no."

She smiled until I got up to leave. "You didn't eat!"

"I must attend a training session."

"Will I see you later?" she asked, but I'd left the room before she finished.

I'd planned to meet with Leon and Mordred. It seemed that the scroll Guinevere had given to Morgana contained the details for the next levy collection. It was missing from where I'd stored it the night before. The two knights I'd summoned were different from the ones who I'd planned to send. The route and other details needed to be changed as well.

I led them into an unused chamber, locked the door and unrolled a map on the table there. "Gentlemen. Here's the new levy collection route. Memorize it quickly."

"My Lord?" Mordred asked, puzzled.

"Don't tell anyone that we've altered the route until the patrol is under way. Do you understand?"

"Sire," Leon confirmed.

"Mordred?"

"Certainly. But can I ask why we're altering the plan, my lord? It adds another day to our ride."

"I can't discuss that. But please trust me." They both nodded. "All right. You'll go in three days." I picked up the parchment and held it in the flame of the candle. When the flame got too close, I dropped it and waited for it to finish burning.

xxxXxxx

Much later in the day, I stood in the corridor next to my chambers. I'd been walking somewhere, but something in the courtyard caught my eye through the window. I'm not sure what it was originally, but as I stared downward, I saw Merlin ride into the courtyard. _Where had he gone and why?_ I had noticed his absence and wondered about it.

Footsteps brought me out of my reverie. "Sire? Is everything all right?" Mordred asked from behind me.

"Yes. Thank you," I told him.

"Can I do anything for you . . ?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Please, just know I'll always be at your service."

Something in his voice made me look at him. "I believe you, Mordred." He nodded and left, leaving me to my thoughts. Only now I wondered about _him_. I got the feeling he somehow knew what was going on. But that was crazy—only three people knew about Guinevere, and none of _us_ were talking about it.

I shook my head and remembered my errand. I'd been on my way to visit Gaius to see what, if anything, he'd discovered about Guinevere's condition. Once I got there, he and Merlin told me they'd found something. I silenced them and led them to an unused room off the armory. This knowledge needed to stay within our group of three.

Gaius summarized their discoveries and the plan to help Guinevere. It was necessarily complicated, so I needed to clarify some details. "What are the effects of this belladonna elixir?" I asked.

"The patient falls into a profound sleep," Gaius replied.

"'Patient?!'" I objected to the use of that word.

"It is usually reserved for the seriously wounded."

"Does it last long?"

"A few hours. It must be given several times a day to provide an uninterrupted sleep."

Merlin looked at Gaius as if to correct him. _Weird_. "But for only three days."

"That's correct, Sire. The elixir should not be used for a long period."

"Or?"

"The body won't accept it," Merlin explained.

"Thank you, Merlin," I told him. _Did Gaius not want to share some of this information?_

"Three days is enough time to travel to the Cauldron of Arianrhod," Gaius added.

"You've made the trip yourself, have you?"

"I cannot say that—"

I cut Gaius off. "Any accident, any sudden crisis will—"

Gaius interrupted. "There is no cause to believe that everything will not go favorably." I bowed my head in thought; the consequences of failure were awful. "My Lord, if we do nothing, Gwen is already lost."

For some reason, I needed to know if I had my servant's support. "Merlin?" I asked. He nodded and I nodded back, encouraged. Now for the next hurdle. "Calling upon this Goddess will require magic?"

"Only a sorcerer can perform the rite," Gaius replied. I looked away, torn. The last time I consented to magic's use . . . "It's the only way, Sire. Magic must be fought with magic."

"I'll be flouting my own laws."

"For your wife and Queen."

He was right—there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I nodded, but avoided looking at either man. "All right. It's settled. There'll be a sorcerer. I can trust him?"

"I give you my word."

"You've promised me that before, Gaius, when my father died in the care of such a man."

"This sorcerer will be completely unlike that one."

"How are you so certain?"

"Because, Sire, on this occasion I have decided on . . ." he paused a moment, as if unsure of something, then continued, "A woman."

Merlin seemed a bit confused by that, but recovered quickly. I nodded and we made a plan to give Guinevere the elixir and leave Camelot tonight. This will be one of the hardest quests I've ever attempted. The price of failure was too high; I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if we failed.

We went our separate ways. I found Leon and informed him about our absence. He knew me well enough by now to not ask many questions. After that I was at loose ends, so I went back to my chambers.

I walked in and leaned up against my desk, thinking. "How did the training go, my Lord?" Guinevere asked, startling me.

"Very well," I told her. She began walking toward me.

"So you won? Or did you lose?"

"A bit of both."

She wasn't fooled. "You're a rotten liar, Arthur. You have on the same clothes as this morning and your armor hasn't been touched. I'm not an idiot. You've been somewhere, but not the training ground."

I looked away, trying to come up with a decent excuse. "I um—"

"Did I do something wrong? Speak improperly? Say something untoward? I'm your wife, Arthur! I wouldn't want you hurt for anything. Please tell me what's bothering you."

My face _was_ giving me away this time. I put my hands in her arms "I love you, Guinevere, more than I can possibly say. I would do anything for you."

She wore a confused expression as I pulled her into a tight embrace. "I know, I—" she stopped speaking, which was good. I didn't think I could manage a reply without breaking down and giving myself away. The sadness nearly overwhelmed me; I had to leave the room until dinner or I'd never be able to play my part.

xxxXxxx

Gaius had come to dinner, mostly to make sure the plan worked without a hitch. Merlin was there to serve us, as usual, so Guinevere suspected nothing. I watched him pour the vial of belladonna into the wine pitcher and bring it over to the table.

He made to pour some in Guinevere's goblet. "Wine, my Lady?"

"No thanks, Merlin," she replied. _Oh great_. She _had_ to drink the laced wine _now_, so we could leave _tonight_. He glanced at me and Gaius for help.

I had an idea and raised my goblet. "A toast." Gaius caught on and raised his.

"My Lord?" she asked, confused.

"A toast to . . . A toast to my beautiful wife."

"Me? What did I do?" She laughed nervously, a sentiment the rest of us echoed.

"You being your lovely self, Your Highness," Gaius said. _He saved me_.

"That's very thoughtful, Gaius, but mightn't it rather be to _Camelot_?" I watched as she let Merlin pour her some wine.

"To Camelot," Merlin, Gaius and I said together.

"Yes, to Camelot," I repeated unnecessarily.

"To Camelot," Guinevere echoed.

Everyone but Merlin took a sip of wine and put their goblets down. Merlin, Gaius and I stared at Guinevere, waiting for her to pass out. We couldn't help ourselves, and she noticed. The belladonna was taking a _very_ long time to work.

She seemed to ignore our rudeness and said instead, "You should eat, my Lord."

I started to reply, "No, I'm wai—" but stopped when her eyes rolled up into her head and she began to slump over. Fortunately Merlin acted quickly and slid a plate of bread under her head _before_ she hit the table. All of us jumped up and hurried off in different directions. "You're certain this is harmless, Gaius?" I asked as I moved around to my wife and held her up.

"I'd bet my life on it, Sire," he replied.

"You might have to," I said back, only half joking. At that moment, Merlin wheeled a small wheelbarrow into the room. "She's a _Queen_!" I exclaimed indignantly.

"It was what I could find," he replied. Sadly, I believed him.

"We must hurry, Sire," Gaius said as Merlin and I hefted Guinevere over to the wheelbarrow.

"Gently . . ." I told him. I eased her into a more comfortable position and he draped a sheet over her.

"There. Nobody will find us out," he said.

"Gaius, you're positive this will work?" I asked. I ran to open the door for them.

"You'd be surprised at how much leeway old age gives you, Sire." He walked over to me and turned to address his ward. "Merlin, come." He turned back to me as he walked out. "We'll meet at the Darkling Wood."

"Merlin, if you let her fall. . ." I told him as he ran past with the wheelbarrow.

"I know. My head and neck part ways."

_Yep, he got it_. "Just wanted to make sure." And they were gone; I closed the door behind them and leapt across the room to grab my packed bag and mail. I hastened down to the stables to pick up the horses. No one questioned me when I led two out, tied one to my saddle and rode off.

I'm not surprised that I beat the other two men there, but they seemed to be taking an eternity. I _have_ learned patience, but Guinevere's wellbeing was at risk here. Any learned patience had long since flown. Finally I saw Gaius walking the trail toward me. "Where's Merlin?"

"It's okay, Sire. He's coming," he told me. Sure enough, Merlin was several yards behind him. He was laboring to breathe. _He really needs more exercise_.

"What took you so long?" I demanded.

"Do you realize how . . . steep those hills are?" It almost sounded like he'd meant to say something else but changed his mind.

I moved the sheet off her face. _Ohhh_. "She seems so harmless. Pure."

"She still is, Sire. You'll cleanse Morgana's evil from her," Gaius reassured me. "Now, you should be leaving." We took the sheet off of her completely and I picked her up. I carried her over to my horse and Merlin helped me gently drape her over the saddle. I climbed up behind her, waited for Merlin and we were off. We'd decided to get as far away as we could during the night and only stop briefly in the morning to rest.

xxxXxxx

After our morning break, we continued through the woods at full gallop. We paused at the foot of the mountains to plot the rest of our course. I didn't know the rest of the way to go—alleged sacred places are Gaius's thing. Hopefully Merlin remembered. "The sorceress dwells at the westernmost summit," he said.

"The highest, _of course_," I commented, then looked over at him; he nodded. "It usually is, isn't it? Let's get going then."

I'd turned forward again, but turned back at his voice. "Hang on . . . Someone's watching us." I looked around but saw no one. _Oh come on_.

Merlin hadn't moved, so I scanned the direction he was looking in. "You had a 'funny feeling' again? That's okay, then." If there really _was_ someone there, they didn't want to be seen. And we didn't have the time to worry about it. We got moving again.

After a short while, the foothills grew too high and the terrain too rough; I made a decision. "We'll tie the horses here. It'll be faster to walk." I dismounted and moved to lead my horse.

"And our things?" Merlin asked before dismounting.

"You'll cope," I told him.

"I can't hold all of it."

"I'll have Guinevere."

"She's half as heavy as that stuff," he tried to joke.

I turned to look at him. "Are you proposing that I endanger the Queen by carrying even more?"

"I could carry her and—"

I couldn't believe this. "She's _my_ wife."

"I'd be mindful."

"And _you_ work for _me_." That shut him up somehow, thankfully. I don't think I could have taken much more from him. Not today.

We were silent as we started walking. I used the time to think through several things in an attempt to _not_ think about what we were doing. We were fairly high up and walking along the edge of a cliff when I felt I could stand talking again. "The funny feelings you get . . ." I started.

He cut me off. "They're not funny."

"Daft, then. Where do you think they come from?" _Silence_. "Merlin, you there still? Have you gone into a sulk?"

"I'm not sulking. I'm hauling a burden even a _horse_ would strain under."

"It'll do you good."

"Why can't it do _you_ good?"

"I've been good for a while."

"I can possibly—" He suddenly stopped. Was he finally learning to mind his tongue?

"Merlin?" _No response_. I turned and looked around; no Merlin. Surely he couldn't just _vanish_? "Merlin?!" I yelled. _Nothing_. I hurriedly but gently laid Guinevere on the ground then stepped to the edge of the cliff to look down. There he was at the base of the cliff; he looked unconscious but I yelled anyway, "_Merlin?!_" I listened to the echo for a moment, then started climbing down. My hand slipped not too far down and I fell to a small ledge. I looked up to see several rocks falling toward me. My instinct told me to jump, so I did. I hit ground, then everything went black.

I woke to feelings of pressure and pain in different parts of my body. I opened my eyes to see I was lying downhill with my left arm pinned between two boulders. Glancing to my right, I saw Merlin sprawled as I'd seen him from atop the cliff. _I couldn't have been out long then_. Relieved, I turned my attention to freeing my arm. I couldn't even budge it.

My next idea was to reach my leg over to nudge Merlin awake. I could barely reach him, but still called his name. "Merlin! _Merlin!_" He remained frustratingly unconscious.

I turned my attention back to my trapped arm. I yelled out with effort and frustration as I pushed and pulled, but it didn't move. There was only one solution I could think of—I slid my sword out of my belt and maneuvered it under my body. *****This could be painful, but at least I'd be free . . . "ARTHUR!" A cry from a familiar voice stopped me.

I looked up to see Mordred grinning at the top of the cliff. He waved a rope and the biggest surge of relief I've ever felt flooded through me. I dropped my sword and relaxed. "Check on Guinevere," I yelled up to him.

"I already did, Sire. She's sleeping peacefully."

He secured the rope to something and rappelled down to us. Then he pushed one of the boulders off my arm to free me; it would hurt but it wasn't broken. I got up and we went to wake Merlin. He was confused for a few minutes, but finally understood what had happened and what we needed to do. Interestingly enough, he wasn't that surprised to see Mordred—his "funny feeling" had been right after all.

It took us quite a while to get all of us _and_ the gear that had fallen with Merlin, up to the top of the cliff again. I'd wanted to get a lot further on than this by the end of the day, but I don't think any of us wanted to push on after the excitement. We found a sheltered spot not too far away and prepared to spend the night there.

Merlin made a bed for Guinevere while Mordred lit a fire. I settled her on it and sat close by. We'd eaten and relaxed back against convenient boulders before Mordred felt like he could ask for our story. I gave him a condensed version of her and Morgana's actions; he looked at Guinevere in disbelief.

"It seems impossible. The Queen has such a sweet nature," he said.

"It wasn't ever her. Only Morgana." I owed him an apology. "I apologize for not confiding in you."

"I'm glad you didn't. If I hadn't suspected anything, I wouldn't have followed you. Merlin was acting oddly . . ."

"That's not unusual."

"And you changed the levy route."

I realized something then. "You had a funny feeling," I said to Merlin. He gave me a puzzled look.

"My Lord?" Mordred was understandably confused.

"I'm thankful you came, Mordred. If you hadn't, I probably I would've at least lost my hand."

Merlin shook his head, offended. "I would have woken."

"Merlin, if I had to trust your timekeeping, I would've lost both arms _and_ my legs besides." Mordred attempted to cover his laughter and failed. "It's good you're with us. Three's more agreeable than two, isn't it, Merlin?"

"Certainly," he said distractedly. "It's time." He got up and reached into his pack.

_The belladonna_. "I'll do it." I got up and took it from him.

"Just two drops," he reminded me.

I heard Merlin settle down against the rock; then Mordred got up and walked over to him. I heard them talking but couldn't quite tell what they were saying. When I came back over to the fire, Mordred was back to sitting across from us. Neither of them looked too pleased about their conversation, and neither said why. I decided then that we should bed down for the night, and both complied without argument.

xxxXxxx

In the morning, we packed up and left without any fuss. In the daylight, we discovered that we did indeed have the right path. Banners on poles lined both sides of the trail. After valiantly holding his tongue for a while, Mordred gave in to curiosity. "What do these banners mean?" he asked.

Merlin, walking next to him, answered. "They mark the path for pilgrims. This is a holy place for those who observe the Old Religion."

Say _what_? "How do you know these things?" I asked.

"Gaius told me." _That figures_.

We kept walking for a minute before I just had to ask: "How much further?"

"It's close. This ravine leads to the Cauldron," Merlin replied.

Before I had time to process that, a strange scream in the sky brought our heads up. Morgana's dragon was flying down toward us. Once it was close, it breathed fire at us then swooped upward again. I turned sharply to get Guinevere out of its way, and found a bit of cover between two boulders. "Here!" I yelled. Mordred followed immediately but Merlin took his time. When he got there, I commented, "Morgana has to be nearby."

"You run. I'll divert it," Merlin decided. He moved to take off all the bags he'd been carrying.

"_No_," I said firmly.

"You have to."

"Only you know where the sorcerer is."

"Arthur!" He yelled in warning as the dragon flew too close.

"Take Gwen to shelter, Sire. We'll protect you and meet you past the ravine," Mordred jumped in to support Merlin.

I could tell I'd lost this one. "All right." I held Guinevere securely to my chest and made my way through the ravine as quickly I could manage. I was still _very_ apprehensive about leaving the two of them behind, but they were right; she _was_ the priority.

After a few agonizingly long minutes, I heard footsteps approaching my cover. I looked out to see my servant, alone. "Merlin! Where's Mordred?" He just shook his head. I made to move past him to get to Mordred, but he put out a hand and stopped me.

"No, Arthur."

I brushed his hand aside. "I can't abandon a knight."

He replaced his hand and said, "I spotted Morgana. Mordred's provided us an opening. We can't waste it."

Unfortunately for Mordred, that made sense. I turned and picked up Guinevere. I hoped Mordred would survive his encounter with Morgana. I know she used to care about him, but he literally stabbed her in the back. I prayed I'd get to see him again and started walking.

xxxXxxx

We walked a bit longer, all uphill. Then we were faced with a _really_ steep hill. _Was Guinevere getting heavier?_ At the top of _that_ hill, the trail led slightly downhill into a small lake. The water was a kind of blue I'd never seen before.

"This is what Gaius described. The Cauldron of Arianrhod," Merlin managed to say. He started removing the bags he'd been carrying even _before_ I could set Guinevere down.

"Where's the sorceress?" I asked after standing again.

"Gaius told me she's a hermit. She avoids the being around men." _He was still trying to catch his breath_.

"She'll need to make an exception. We don't have much time. Guinevere could awaken at any instant."

"We have more elixir."

"_No_! No more. I won't chance it. We must find the sorceress."

"I'll look for her." He picked up a bag and started walking away from me. Before I could ask him why he'd need a bag, a black dress fell out of it. Curious, I walked toward him; that made him look up and see the dress on the ground. He bent to pick it up, seeming flustered. Then he looked over at me and said, "Did you think this was going to be free?"

"What do you mean?" _I'm so confused_.

"The sorceress. She wants her pay in clothing. She won't go to a seamstress."

_That didn't help_. "Why would a hermit care about _clothing_?"

"I don't know, Arthur. She's a sorceress. She can't be ordinary, can she?" He turned and started walking the way he'd been going before. I rolled my eyes at his dubious logic and walked back to Guinevere.

I sat next to her and maintained a watch for the eccentric sorceress. "Just a little longer, my love," I told her, hoping she could somehow hear me. The sound of footsteps coming up the trail made me turn to look then stand as I saw who it was. "Mordred! I feared you were lost." I hurried over to him and clasped his arm.

"I did too," he replied.

"How did you get away from Morgana?"

"She is no challenge for a Knight of the Round Table."

"Honestly, Mordred . . ." I was interrupted by the sound of footsteps from a different direction. We both turned our heads to see an old woman. She wore the dress that had fallen out of Merlin's bag. _Uuugh_. "Now I see. Merlin said she had difficulty obtaining clothes."

"Who are you? What interests do you have in this holy place?" the woman asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Are you the Dolma, aged sorceress of the Cauldron of Arianrhod?"

She extended her arms and inclined her head as an assent. "Would I be anyone else?"

I leaned closer to Mordred to whisper, "Do you recognize her at all?"

"There's a bit. . ." he started but she interrupted him.

"What are you saying? Why do you murmur?"

_Do I tell her?_ "You look familiar, sorceress."

She reached a hand to her hair, preening. "Oh. You think so?"

"Indeed."

"My lord, where's Merlin?" Mordred asked suddenly. We looked at her again and she stared back with a knowing smile.

_I didn't like it_. "What did you do with my servant?" I began drawing my sword.

"Oh . . . The gangly fellow. Hmm . . ." Furious, I took a step toward her. But her next words stopped me. "If I die, you'll never see him again. I am an elderly woman. Isn't it normal I claim some surety? I will return the boy when we have completed our affairs."

"You found out why we're here." _I should be more surprised._

"Nothing is unknown to . . . the Dolma. Now quickly, before your Queen wakes. Place her by the lake." The Dolma moved toward the Cauldron while I sheathed my sword. I walked over to Guinevere, picked her up and laid her at the feet of the Dolma. She crouched down to examine her and said, "Noble King, the magic that has trapped your Queen is very powerful. It can be repelled. It can be defeated, but it might also triumph. Do you recognize this?"

"I do."

"What we're undertaking won't be simple. If we fail, your Queen will be gone forever."

"I understand." _Everything to lose, everything to gain_.

"All right. When I wake Guinevere from her slumber, she has to step into the Cauldron by her own choice. That is the only way the spell can be defeated. But beware— every bit of the magic that compels her will struggle against it."

This_ has _towork. "How can we win then?"

"You need to reach her, Arthur." She stood slowly while speaking. "Reach the piece of your Queen which hasn't been touched by Morgana's evil."

"Is there such a piece?" _A spark of hope_.

"You must trust that there is. Get ready. You'll have only a few seconds when she wakes." Mordred and I moved closer to Guinevere. The Dolma knelt in front and held her hand over her. "_Gielde ic þec þissa meowles sawole, gyden aeblaece._"

The Dolma started to stand again and I reached out to help her. We waited a moment, then I knelt by Guinevere. I wanted to be the first thing she saw. Her eyelids fluttered then opened abruptly; she was startled.

She sat up and looked around, scared. "Where am I? What did you do to me?"

I spoke quietly, to calm her. "You've been sleeping for a while . . ."

She stood and cut me off. "Leave me!"

She tried to run past me, but I caught her arm and pulled her to a stop. I brought my other hand up to hold her other arm. "Guinevere. My Guinevere."

"_Your_ Guinevere?" she spat. "You dim-witted idiot. I wasn't ever yours and won't ever be." She kept struggling to get away.

"You need to reach her, Arthur. Reach out or everything is for naught," the Dolma said behind me.

"Who's this old hag?"

I yanked her closer. "You loved me before."

"I deceived you with no trouble, Arthur."

_This hurt_. "And even now."

"It was a ploy. That's all. A ruse to deliver Camelot to its proper Queen."

"I can't accept that." Still she struggled to get away.

"Accept what you want. That doesn't change the truth." I began to drag her toward the pool.

"_No_! It has to be her choice!" the Dolma said. I turned to look at her; she stared back determinedly.

I pulled Guinevere closer again. "Look in my eyes then say you don't love me."

"Release me!"

"Arthur!" The Dolma spoke urgently.

"Think back to when I proposed to you. Do you remember your answer? You said, 'With all my heart.' That was your reply, Guinevere. There was no deception. No lying." She stopped struggling at looked at me, confused. "'With all my heart.'" I let go of her and began walking backwards, toward the lake. She didn't move. "'With all my heart.'" As I stepped into the lake, her breath hitched. _She was remembering!_

I kept walking backwards as she softly said, "With all my heart . . ." Recognition came into her eyes. I extended a hand to her and she began walking toward me.

"Come." When she was close enough, she put her hand in mine and she let me pull her further in.

As she walked past me and let go, the Dolma began chanting: "_Yfel gaest, ga þu fram þisse lichaman. Bitþ hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofontungol sceal þurhswiþan._"

A bright, white-gold light surrounded Guinevere. It hovered around her for a minute before dissipating. She turned to look at me, then smiled and extended her hand to me. I waded toward her as quickly as I could and put my arms around her. She embraced me back and I just held onto her, beyond relieved to have her back and freed from Morgana's influence.

xxxXxxx

Eventually we felt the chill one receives from wearing wet clothing in a breeze. I began leading Guinevere out of the water; Mordred stepped to the edge to help us. The Dolma turned to watch us as we passed by her. I put my arm around Guinevere and spoke to the sorceress. "I am indebted to you. We both are. If I can ever do anything in return . . . Maybe another dress?"

Guinevere was outraged. "_Arthur!_"

"She likes clothes," I explained when she looked up at me.

The Dolma looked down for a moment before answering, "I can think of one thing."

"Tell me."

"Keep in mind what saved your Queen. Sorcery and magic."

_Umm_. "Magic also bewitched her."

"There's no evil in magic, it is in the hearts of men. I ask that you remember this."

_It would be the least I can do; I hope it's true_. "You have my promise."

She gave me a small smile and bowed her head in acceptance. Mordred walked over to us and we turned to leave. "You're forgetting something," she yelled, clearly irritated by something. I turned to look at her, puzzled. I looked at Guinevere and Mordred then made sure I had my sword. The Dolma put her hands on her hips and huffed in exasperation.

I was at a loss; I walked closer to her and looked around. "Not that I know of."

"_The boy_."

It took me a moment to realize _who_ she was talking about. _Merlin_. "Ah . . . Ah. Yes. I felt things had gone unusually well."

That seemed to upset her even more. "He was your _surety_, noble King! If not for him, your Queen would still be enchanted."

I wrinkled my nose in disbelief. "I don't think that's true."

"And I'm saying it _is_!" She yelled. I looked at her, still skeptical. She took a few steps toward me, looking _very_ annoyed. "You're in greater debt to him than you know."

_Really?_ _Merlin?_ I still didn't see how, but I nodded to placate her. She moved right into my personal space and looked me in the eye, waiting for something. _Oh_. "Yeah. Um . . . I'm sorry. I'll give him a free afternoon."

She sighed, apparently still irritated. "Someday, noble King, you'll realize the true value of those around you." I still didn't see her point, but didn't share that with _her_. She stared at me for a moment before gesturing dismissively. "Go." She began backing away, so I nodded in acknowledgement and turned to leave.

As I began walking forward, Guinevere and Mordred followed. I thought of something, and turned back to say something to the Dolma. Whatever it was fled my mind when she waved me off. I turned back around and started walking again. I guess she'd release Merlin soon and he'd just catch up to us.

xxxXxxx

Not having to carry Guinevere meant we could travel a bit faster. Merlin didn't even whine about his load, though it helped that Guinevere and Mordred each offered to carry something. We made it to the horses and rode them a bit further to camp someplace nicer.

In the morning I realized that we'd make it back to Camelot well before sunset. That meant we could ride at a more leisurely pace and not stress the horses. Guinevere rode with me; the closeness was nice after several days of stress and uncertainty.

Every once in a while, I could hear Mordred try to engage Merlin in conversation, but it never went that far. Again I wondered why Merlin was so cold to him. He had helped save Mordred all those years ago and now he treated him like a pariah. But I couldn't let his attitude bother me—he'd accept Mordred in time.

* * *

***Personally, I thought he was going to use his sword to leverage the boulder off, but he could've intended to chop off his arm/hand. What do y'all think? And for my next trick, the episode that can suck all the joy from one's life, 5.11 _The Drawing of the Dark_. I'd love to know where the name of that episode comes from, does anyone know?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi there! *ducks* I'll admit I procrastinated on this one because I really don't like this episode. I want to smack just about every male in it; but I got over it. Special thanks to Mika271170 for reviewing- you're a rock star for keeping up with me! :)**

* * *

Despite the conditions of war we found ourselves under, or maybe because of them, I took the Round Table knights (and Merlin, of course) on a short hunt. We didn't go too far, but managed to distract ourselves fairly well. We'd just started the trip back when I felt like talking for once."Well that was a good decent trip."

"Definitely. We all got something," Mordred added.

"Including Merlin," Gwaine said, chuckling.

"He did? What?" I wondered.

"A cold!" Merlin declared. I noticed that he carried my crossbow _and_ a blanket over his shoulders.

"If you learned tracking, you'd like it more," Leon chided.

"I'm the finest tracker around," Merlin scoffed.

Percival quashed further conversation by holding up a hand to stop us. He dismounted and removed his cloak; I followed suit. He drew his sword, walked to something on the ground and bent down to examine it. He pulled a crossbow bolt from the ground and turned to show it to us. Everyone else dismounted while I drew my sword. When everyone was armed, Percival led us down the trail he'd found.

Merlin caught up to me; he'd shucked the blanket but kept the crossbow. "Arthur, what did he find? A boar?" He readied the crossbow. "A deer?"

"Arthur," Percival's voice stopped me and I looked up to see what he saw. An utterly destroyed camp.

"Saxons," Merlin guessed.

Several of my knights lay scattered around, dead. There was an overturned wagon, empty cargo boxes and several weapons. "They were after the cargo. Weapons headed for Camelot," I stated.

"Morgana," Merlin suggested.

"But so close to the city?" Gwaine asked. It seemed crazy, but Morgana wasn't exactly sane.

"Look for survivors," I told everyone.

At that moment, I saw Mordred take off into the trees. _Had he seen someone?_ Merlin and I were closest to him; he took off after Mordred while I whistled for the knights to move out. Mordred kept following whatever he'd seen.

I saw Merlin stop behind Mordred as the latter started to turn around. I ran past Merlin to address Mordred. "What was it?"

"I saw something moving, but it was most likely a deer."

"Are you certain?" _I_ had to be sure.

"Yeah."

I turned to order the others. "Let's go." We walked back to the decimated camp and pulled the bodies close together. I'd have to send someone back to collect them, but Percival offered to stay and guard them from predators. I thanked him and the rest of us walked back to our horses to ride home.

xxxXxxx

I'd asked Leon to come to my chambers after he'd taken care of his things. By the time he came to me, I had a map of Camelot spread over my table. We stood side-by-side to examine it. "We think they came from the canyon at Westhay and followed the ridgeline straight through to the crossing at Rushwick," he stated. He'd evidently discussed this with the other knights.

"We need to protect our supply lines before they become endangered. I want additional patrols sent to the west and north of the citadel," I told him. If our supply routes were cut, waging war would be next to impossible.

"We'll leave at sunrise," he said, and started for the door.

I stopped him before he could leave. "Leon. Please remember that we're at war." He nodded and left; I bent over the map again.

Guinevere came up on my right. "What are you worrying about?"

"Morgana's men struck just a few miles away from the citadel."

That didn't surprise her. "She is bold."

"She isn't afraid of us."

"She's crazier than I remembered."

"She has magic to back her up."

"So? You have the might and devotion of your people, Arthur. You gave them something to fight for when you became King. She can't overcome such a weapon ." She touched my arm in a gesture of reassurance. I smiled back at her; she was right. Morgana may have a huge army of bought men, but one cannot buy true loyalty.

xxxXxxx

Merlin was nowhere to be seen when I woke in the morning. I hadn't had to search for him in a while, so I was quite put out. I called for him as I searched the corridors. After the fifth "Merlin!" I turned down yet _another_ corridor and saw him standing in a doorway. I walked toward him slowly. "What _are_ you doing?"

"I'm like a swan," he said randomly, then turned to me. It was only sunrise and he'd already confused me. "I might look idle, but there's plenty happening underneath."

"Hmm. Fascinating. I think you're more like a head louse." _Make something of _that.

"Huh . . ."

_Or not_. "Worthless and annoying. Now get going; we've got a patrol to go on." I turned, assuming he'd follow. If this wasn't his usual _modus operandi_, I'd be worried.

He chattered as usual while we walked to the stables for our horses. We rode toward the scene of the attack and dismounted. Tracks of any kind would be easier to see in the daytime, and I wanted to be sure Mordred's "deer" was really a deer. It also wouldn't hurt to give Merlin a lesson in tracking; if he's the finest tracker around then my sword can slay the dead. _Ha_.

We led our horses through the woods until I spotted something moving. We tied our mounts to trees and walked forward slowly; I crouched down. "Merlin! Look." He came up to me reluctantly. "It's all about being aware. Tell me what you see."

"I see a pair of trousers that need washing." He'd barely glanced at the branch I'd spotted.

I stood up to pull him closer. "Move closer and look." Reluctant seemed to be an inadequate word now. I pushed him to the ground, which made a squishy sound. "Now what do you see?"

"Ugh. Fantastic." He stood up and tried to brush the mud off. "Two pairs of trousers that need washing."

I rolled my eyes. "On the branch!"

"It's damaged."

"What does that say?"

"Something left the path."

He looked up and stared at else; I sighed mentally. I kept on looking around the ground. "It's fresh."

"An animal."

_Huh?_ "Really?"

"A deer."

_He's getting it?_ "Would have to be a large one."

"With really big antlers.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's staring at us." Curious, I finally looked up to see what he'd been staring at. It _was_ a deer. "It's . . . all about being aware." I saw something in the mud then. Merlin nudged my arm. "Come on."

I walked forward to see a boot print in the mud. "That's no deer." I began following this new trail, and we ended up back at the wrecked carriage. There were new boot prints here. "Merlin," I said, and pointed to the fresh prints in the mud.

"Probably from one of us yesterday," he guessed.

"It wasn't muddy yesterday; it just rained last night. These tracks are new."

"The knights have been patrolling this area continually. Maybe it's one of them."

"_Who?_ I read their statements. Nobody's been through here." I continued to follow the new trail, trusting that Merlin was following. I bent down a couple of times to make sure we were still on the right path—it was darker back here. Soon we came to a set of small ravines that would be perfect to hide in. I drew my sword as we descended into them.

Before I went through a curtain of brush, Merlin whispered to get my attention, "Arthur." I ignored him and moved forward quietly.

A girl rose from her hiding spot behind a rock. "Please don't hurt me," she said. I stopped to watch her.

"Be cautious Arthur. She's hurt," Merlin observed.

"I mean you no harm," she stated.

I was still wary, but sheathed my sword and walked forward to help her. I glanced away briefly and almost missed the flash of metal in her hand. I twisted to the side as she stumbled the other way before she could stab me with a dagger. It somehow flew out of her hand and I caught her before she fell. "You were going to kill me," I said, shocked.

"I'm just sorry I failed." There was no frailty or remorse in her tone. I restrained her as we walked back to the horses. Merlin found a bit of rope to bind her hands behind her back and we walked back to Camelot where I turned her over to the closest guards.

xxxXxxx

Later in the day, I had the girl brought to the council chamber to face the court. I'd hoped a few hours in the dungeon would soothe her into submission. But she stood there proudly like she had not a care in the world. I wouldn't let that get to me and walked around her slowly, hopefully intimidating her a bit. "You were part of a group of Saxons who waylaid an arms delivery headed for Camelot?"

"Yes," she stated, her face impassive.

"Were you under the direction of Morgana Pendragon?"

"I did it for myself, for my kin and for our right to be free." _Ah, a bit of emotion at the end_.

"I have no argument with the Druids."

"My life has been consumed by running because of my beliefs and I've seen those I have loved killed."

"Before, perhaps. But I'm not my father." I paused next to her.

"You don't execute those with magic?" She turned her head to look at me; I returned her look then kept walking. "I am not the one who needs to pay for my sins, it is you. You and your father have cruelly and ruthlessly piled despair on my people. You have driven a peaceful people to war . . . so it is you . . . and Camelot that will pay the price."

I paused behind her. "I hear the voice of Morgana in your words . . . It is she and other like-minded people who have misused the powers of magic. It is _they_ who have created the breach between our people." I walked around until we faced each other again. "It is _their_ actions that have terrified Camelot and compelled us to ban magic. But you stand before the court, not because of a feat of magic or sedition, but because you've committed murder. Your actions led to the deaths of several men and endanger the lives of several more."

"They were victims of war." I rolled my eyes and walked past her on the other side. "If I had to choose, I would do it again. I won't rest until you are dead and your kingdom is in ashes." She turned her head to watch me.

"But you have a friend here." She looked surprised briefly. "Your leg was treated somehow . . . by someone in Camelot. _Who?_"

"I treated myself."

"You're lying. Whoever helped you left tracks in the mud . . . footprints that led to your capture."

"Some stranger found me and helped. I don't know who he was."

I'd walked around to face her again. "You don't show any remorse for your actions. I have no option but to pronounce you an enemy of Camelot. Pursuant to the laws of this kingdom, you will be removed from your cell at dawn tomorrow . . . and hang." I nodded to the guards to take her away.

"Do what you want. My death won't stop Morgana's revolt." The guards turned her around while she continued speaking. "Your end is coming ." They forcibly led her away. "My only regret is I won't be around to see it."

I made my way back to my chambers, looking back to make sure Merlin followed me. I wanted to collapse into a chair, but really needed to get this armor off. When Merlin came in, I gestured for him to come help me. We were down to the mail when a knock sounded at the door. "Enter," I called. Once the mail was off, I turned back to see my youngest knight. "Ah, Mordred. What is it?" He walked further into the room then knelt. Confused, I glanced at Merlin, but he was also puzzled.

Mordred spoke. "I took the herbs to the Druid girl. Arthur, I beg you, please, to change your verdict. She is a decent person. She doesn't mean any harm. She isn't responsible—Morgana's using her in her pursuit of power." I couldn't believe this.

The longer he spoke, the more questions popped into my mind. "You recognize this girl?" He nodded but didn't look up at me.

"She is . . . someone . . . since I was young . . ." Getting emotional, he finally looked up at me. "She's lived inside my heart always."

I stepped toward him and motioned him to stand. He did so; I noticed his tears and put my hand on his shoulder. I _really_ wanted to help him, but . . . "You realize there's nothing I would not do for you. You're a knight of Camelot, a bond we share. But what you're requesting . . . this girl, she's dangerous and not only to me. She's an avowed enemy of Camelot, merciless to the core."

He shook his head. "No. I can help her—she'll listen to me."

"I can't endanger the well-being of my citizens, Mordred, whoever asks."

His face fell. "I beg you, Arthur."

"She's confessed her treason. I have no choice. I'm sorry."

"Sire." He turned out from under my hand and left.

I watched him leave and took off my gloves. "What of the bond between knights?" Merlin asked quietly.

I didn't look at him. "The law has to be upheld. It is vital." I said the words, but did I believe them?

"You'll be breaking his heart. You'll lose his faith. Please reconsider."

"My hands are tied. Mordred will realize that in time. He'll forgive me eventually." I'm not sure I believed _those_ words either.

"I think you're wrong, Arthur."

I walked toward him to put my things away. "Only time will tell." I could only pray that I was right.

xxxXxxx

Shortly before dinner, I sat at my desk reading some routine paperwork. The door opened and Mordred walked in without saying anything. As he walked up to me, I saw Merlin come out from where he'd been working, as if to watch what Mordred was going to do.

"Mordred," I said, surprised to see him.

He stopped a few feet in front of me. "I wish to . . . to apologize."

"I see no reason for it." _There really wasn't_.

"I'm sorry for what I did. Please forgive me."

"I wouldn't let this damage our friendship."

He smiled then. "You helped me, accepted me. I'll remember that always . . . and all you've done for me."

I was a bit concerned; it seemed like he was trying to say two things at once. "You've repaid me by becoming one of my most faithful knights."

"Thank you, Sire." He nodded and left the room.

It was good to see him accept the situation. "I knew he'd change his mind," I commented to Merlin and picked up a quill to write a note on the document in front of me. When I looked up again, Merlin was gone. I shrugged my shoulders and hoped that meant dinner was on its way.

A few minutes later, Guinevere entered the room. Merlin was right behind her with our dinner. We sat down; he served us and left again. We began eating and sharing a lively conversation. Several minutes later, Guinevere was laughing at a joke I'd just told when Merlin re-entered without knocking.

"Merlin!" she said, surprised.

He approached the table. "I apologize, my lady. I have to speak with Arthur. It's urgent."

I put down my goblet, annoyed. "It'd better be."

"It's Mordred."

I looked up at him. "What about him?"

"Arthur . . ." he started, looking like he was bracing for something.

"Come on, tell me already."

"He, uh . . ."

_This must be very unpleasant_. "Well?!"

"He intends to free the Druid girl." My heart plummeted into my feet. Then I jumped up from the table and ran from the room, Merlin right behind me.

We ran down to the dungeon, only to pause—several guards lay passed out on the floor. Smoke filled the corridor and we had to cover our mouths and noses with our sleeves. We kept going to the cell where the girl had been held, but it was empty. We checked the adjacent one too—nothing.

"Wake the guards," I told him, and we ran back to them.

I found the nearest _awake_ guard and told him to sound the alarm. I ran back to my chambers to get my mail back on. After a few minutes, Merlin came to help and we ran out to check on the search's progress. We met Leon just outside then ran into Gwaine and a few others down the corridor.

"We're searching the citadel," Gwaine said.

"No. They wouldn't stay here. Search the forest," I told him. "I want them detained."

"Alive?" Leon asked.

"Yes. We'll confine them."

"Send out as many riders as possible," Leon directed.

"Set aside personal feelings," I told them before moving away. I took Leon, Gwaine and a few others down to the stables so we could join the search in the forest.

We had just enough light to see someone stopped ahead. We reached him and stopped; it was Percival. Leon dismounted. Percival called out, "Here. I thought I saw something." Merlin and I dismounted also. I drew my sword and we ran in the direction he pointed.

We kept following the now-obvious trail. At my signal, the knights behind me spread out. Hopefully we could out-flank them and capture them without much fuss. "Mordred!" I called, hoping he'd still listen to reason. I heard the sound of a sword being drawn then saw Mordred stand up from behind some fallen trees. He walked out a ways to face us, glancing around at everyone.

He looked over his shoulder as if someone had spoken to him. _The girl_. "But they're my friends," he said to her.

"Surrender yourselves now," I told them. Mordred looked back at me.

"If you let her go, we'll leave Camelot and never return. I promise. _Please_." I didn't answer him; he already knew what I would say. He looked to the left. "Gwaine. Leon." Neither replied.

The girl must have spoken again, because Mordred glanced over his shoulder and lowered his sword. Then, oddly enough, he glared at _Merlin_. Merlin glared back and Mordred lowered his head, as if preparing for something. He looked back up at Merlin, but Percival knocked him out before he could do or say anything else.

Leon jogged over to restrain the girl. Percival picked up Mordred and carried him until he regained consciousness. He allowed himself to be restrained and led back to Camelot. Guards met us and fastened manacles on Mordred and Kara (he had finally shared the girl's name) were taken into the dungeon and put in separate cells. Merlin and I watched as Mordred turned to face me.

"What will you do to me?" he asked.

It was hard to remain stoic. "I don't know." I looked at him a moment longer then turned and walked out. I heard Merlin turn to follow me; he paused for some reason before continuing on.

xxxXxxx

I went back to my chambers to wait for Merlin to come say his piece. It was inevitable; whenever we disagreed, he _had_ to say something, even if he knew it wouldn't change my mind. I walked over to a window on the other side of my bed and opened it. I looked out and inhaled the air, as if it could help me make up my mind. Sure enough, Merlin came in a little while later.

"I realize it's not my place to speak . . . Arthur."

I steeled myself and turned to face him. "I know what you're about to say . . ."

"The girl . . ."

"Her future's decided; it's Mordred's that worries me. Should I permit him to walk free?"

He hesitated then said, "Free both of them."

_Not what I thought he'd say_. "The girl's slain innocent men in cold blood. We're at war; I have to be firm."

"How will another death lead to the peace we yearn for? She's naive; I don't think she's beyond hope. You've seen how they love each other; that has to be greater than her desire to fight for Morgana or her cause. If you give her another chance, she'll take it."

I could see his point and wanted to believe him, but . . . "As King, I'm under oath to maintain the law. It's Camelot's future that worries me."

"Please, Arthur. You must listen to me."

"It's my decision . . . mine alone." I turned back to the window. When I heard footsteps, I glanced back to see Merlin leaving the room.

I felt like a war was raging inside me. It _was_ my duty to uphold the law, especially during this time of war. With all the extra tension in the air, order would quickly turn to chaos without the rule of law. But the _knight_ part of me raged at the hurt being dealt to a brother—he sounded an awful lot like Merlin. These two halves didn't want to reconcile, but I had to _make_ them, somehow. I wouldn't get any rest, let alone live with myself, until I did so.

xxxXxxx

Before sunrise, I opened the door and hailed a passing servant. I sent him to summon Leon; he'd bring Kara to the council chamber where she'd face the council one more time. This would be her very last chance to repent of her crimes or face execution after all.

Everyone was assembled by the time Leon brought Kara from the dungeon. She stood before me, alone, in irons. Leon stepped up to stand next to me as I sat on the throne. Hopefully she'd understand this as I'd intended; as a willingness to listen and forgive. "Everyone in this room knows the crimes you've committed . . . but I'm prepared to give you a chance. I know the Druids are a peaceful people. You're young and . . . easily influenced . . . a simple mark for people like Morgana. If you ask forgiveness for your crimes, I'll spare your life."

She'd listened with a neutral expression while I spoke, and appeared to consider what I'd said before speaking. "I can't be forgiven for a crime I haven't committed."

I couldn't believe her. After all she'd been through here, she wouldn't repent, not even for Mordred. "Kara . . ."

"It's not a crime to fight for your freedom." I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, then sat up in the throne. "It's not a crime to fight for the right to be _you_. You've earned all that's coming to you, Arthur Pendragon."

What a waste of a young life. She couldn't or wouldn't understand that she wasn't being executed because she was a Druid, but because she'd killed. I'd left the Druids in peace for four years now; if she'd done nothing, she'd still be free. But to her, and Morgana, that meant free to practice whatever kind of magic they chose, even if it harmed the rights of others. Too late I realized I should have made a formal overture to the Druids. It wouldn't help Kara now.

xxxXxxx

Kara was led out of the room and to the scaffold in the courtyard by four knights. I escorted Guinevere up to the balcony to watch over the execution, though it was the last thing I wanted to do. Most of the knights and a few citizens were there to watch though I hadn't wanted to make this public.

She paused before climbing the steps. She looked up at the executioner then me. Her face was impassive but resigned. The only time fear flashed onto her face was when she stumbled slightly on one of the steps. The executioner helped her onto the stump and placed the rope around her neck but she still stared up at me. I don' think she blinked at all. He placed the noose around her neck. I returned her gaze for a long moment, then nodded. The stump was pushed from beneath her.

As I re-entered the castle, a guard ran up to me. There were several shouts up and down the corridors. The guard hurriedly explained that Mordred had escaped. As I questioned him further, he told me how Mordred had yelled and sparks had flown from the iron of his cell door. It fell and he'd run out in a rage, magically throwing people. I was stunned into silence.

Fortunately Leon and Gwaine had reached me by then. I was able to give the order to search the citadel and lower town, then into the countryside as needed. A shell-shocked Merlin found me and walked with me back to my chambers. He left me to Guinevere when I asked him to join the search; I asked him to report back to me.

She stayed with me for a while, her presence soothing me enough to where I could think somewhat clearly. Then, like the compassionate wife that she was, left me to my thoughts.

It was so hard to believe that Mordred had magic. I'd known he had been a Druid, but I also knew that not all Druids had magic or practiced it. I guessed I'd seen what I'd wanted to see; that because he was against Morgana he'd be loyal to me. I'd truly believed that he had been. Maybe he really had been and the whole thing with Kara was just too much for him. I wanted to believe that, because the alternative was too painful to consider. But I could understand his pain all too easily.

Where would he go now? Would he join Morgana's quest for vengeance? He now had a very good reason to do so. I hoped not. I hoped that he'd gone someplace to find peace.

A few hours later, Merlin returned. I'd hardly moved from the chair I was sitting in and sat still as he approached me. I stared up at the ceiling; I knew the news wouldn't be favorable. "It's like he's disappeared. The guards searched as far as the river and found no sign."

"I took him in," I stated.

"You have a noble heart; you can't blame yourself for that."

I sat up. "I shouldn't have trusted him." I rubbed my hands over my face, then brought them together. I folded them and rested my chin on them. "Have I made a terrible mistake?"

"I hope not." _He didn't sound hopeful_.

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**Annnd _BAM!_ Mordred is evil. Um, right. *smacks 4 J's* Next, of course are 5.12 &amp; 5.13. I hate them and love them for the same reasons most people do, I imagine- lovely performance by the cast &amp; crew, but shame on the writer/producers. Arthurian legends _do_ allow him to live sometimes. :P**


	9. Chapter 9

**I am _so_ sorry for the long delay. I got wrapped up in finishing my other story, _Changing Lives_, and a Big Bang story. Both are done so now I can finish S5! _Woo hoo!_ Enjoy the first part of _The Diamond of the Day_ according to King Arty.**

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Tonight I was taking a break from war—the planning, the guessing, the fighting, the losses. All work and no play made for a tense King. Although the playing wasn't completely free of stress. I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought I was being fleeced. For a man who claimed to have no useful skills, Merlin was doing very well at dice.

I shook the cup of dice in Merlin's face, turned around and said, "Three!" I dropped the dice on the table then turned back around. _Ha, it's a three_. Our observers cheered. Merlin took the setback with good grace. "You can withdraw anytime," I told him.

"You too," he replied.

I put the dice back in the cup as he prepared to take his turn "There's no shame in losing to your King."

"Or the King to his servant."

The men surrounding us laughed at that; he laughed with them. A few of them said "Oooh . . ." at the jibe. Merlin dropped a small handful of silver coins on the plate.

I noticed how much there was—probably too much for him to be parting with. "Look out. Here goes," I commented to Percival.

Merlin shook the cup, brought it to his mouth and blew on the dice. "Ten," he said, then dropped them onto the table. He'd rolled double fives; more cheering ensued. _This was totally unbelievable_. Percival just smiled; Merlin laughed with amazement. The tavern-dwellers congratulated him heartily.

I leaned across the table to him while he picked up the coins. I whispered so only he would hear, "Treasure this moment, _Mer_lin . . . while you can."

I picked up my cup of dice and shook it. "Twelve." At that moment, Merlin faked a cough. The dice rolled to a four.

Merlin grimaced and rubs his throat as if it really was irritated. "Ohh . . ." he and his cronies said.

_Oh no you don't_. "You messed me up."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He _looked_ innocent.

"You coughed." Percival glanced at both of us, probably wondering if he'd have to peel me off of my servant. The tavern -dwellers laughed.

He pointed to his neck. "Clearing my throat."

"You coughed intentionally."

He closed his eyes and shook his head like I'd caught him at something. "Rats, I knew you'd eventually figure out my plan. I can't trick _you_, my lord. Right." That was the most _insincere_ fake confession I'd ever seen. It had the desired effect too—I was humiliated. Everyone laughed at my expense. I just stood there expressionless; they wouldn't see he'd gotten to me.

Merlin picked up his coins stack by stack and placed them on the plate. Seemingly as an afterthought, he picked up the last one from the table and tossed it onto the others. I glared. "So that's how it is?" He nodded. I swept my coins from the table into my hand and dropped them onto the plate. We traded stares, trying to intimidate one another. But I didn't look away; I am the _master_ of intimidation.

Merlin repeated his routine. He shook the dice, brought the cup to his mouth, and blew on them. "Twelve," he said, then threw the dice onto the table. The tavern-dwellers cheered. I didn't need to look at the dice, but I did anyway._ Double sixes_. "Whoo!" Merlin yelled. He flashed me a victorious grin and put the coins in a bag.

I was at a loss in more ways than one. It's not like I couldn't spare the money, and I didn't really want to spoil his fun. I tried not to let anything I felt show on my face—that wouldn't do. So I just stood there and chastised myself for my foolishness. Someday I _really_ had to stop underestimating my servant.

xxxXxxx

The next morning brought awful news. Troops from a garrison in the north had returned to Camelot. Gaius was quickly summoned to tend to the injured. They littered the corridors because his rooms were already filled. The worst news was about the townspeople—only one had survived and she was now safe in Camelot.

I called the Round Table together. It took some time since a few of the knights were among the injured. Gwaine and Leon had been there and had escaped major injury. Leon took the floor first, "It was a host of Saxons, sire. They traversed our northern border after dark and assaulted the fort at Stowell."

"They follow Morgana's orders?" It wasn't a question.

"We definitely faced sorcery, sire, not mere men." Gwaine replied.

"She's been gathering men for weeks so we shouldn't be surprised. Since Stowell's been taken, she has a foothold at our northern border. That only means one thing."

"She intends to seize Camelot," Guinevere stated.

"Then she's made a serious misstep," Percival declared.

"We have enough time to ready our defenses sire. We can confront her here—no matter how large her army, the walls of Camelot will protect us. The Citadel _will not_ fall." Leon again.

"Maybe, maybe not. We've already abandoned Stowell. I won't desert the people of this kingdom while we hide here."

"Perhaps we can protect them in Camelot itself, sire," Percival suggested.

"A few but not all. Numerous men, women and children will be abandoned. People I've promised to protect."

"We can wish it all we want, but we can't save everyone, Arthur," Guinevere reminded me.

I took a few moments to think before speaking. "I believe there's only one way. We must ensure that she never comes this far."

"We . . . ride forward to confront them." That was Percival.

"Man to man."

"But Morgana controls _thousands_ of men, sire," Leon protested.

"Nevertheless, it's our responsibility as defenders of this kingdom. We cannot stay put and allow our citizens to be slain. That goes against the principles that Camelot was founded on. However this battle goes, my sister cannot and will not defile those principles. A war has begun."

xxxXxxx

I took my privy council over to the council chambers to discuss strategy. Maps were spread out over the table. As I referenced a particular place, I pointed it out on the map. "Morgana will have to cross the White Mountains to get to Camelot." I set down and unrolled a smaller, more detailed map. "The only pass that's fit for an army the size of hers is here." I pointed to the spot.

"I'm familiar with it. The path heads a valley with cliffs on the other side," Percival pointed out.

"That's where we'll confront them. We may be outnumbered but if we don't allow them to outmaneuver us then we'll hold the pass."

"How long? Morgana doesn't care about the lives of her men," Leon added.

"She can't provision an army that size forever. Not when they're cut off by mountains. If we stand firm long enough she'll have to withdraw. Percival, where is the pass at its narrowest?"

"Here, sire." He pointed to the spot on the map.

"What is this place called?"

"Camlann, sir."

"Then we make our stand at Camlann."

xxxXxxx

Hours later, I stood in my chambers looking over the work Merlin had done on my armor, sword and other gear. He'd laid everything out on the table. "I believe this is everything, sire."

"Impressive. _Very_ impressive. I haven't seen finer work—not from _you_ at least," I told him. I wasn't kidding—this was probably the best I'd seen from him.

He smiled. "Thank you, sire."

"So what do you want?" I walked over to my desk.

"Want?" He was either confused or acting that way.

"Oh please, Merlin. You're the worst servant in the world. Then you do _this_. Is it money?"

"No."

_I'll have fun with this_. "No, that's not it. You just won all of mine. Time off?"

"Arthur . . ." he spoke quietly.

"No. That's not it either. You don't actually _do_ anything."

"I only wanted to ensure that you had everything you needed for your trip to Camlann. For the near future."

He seemed oddly sincere. "Thank you." Something about the way he'd said that suddenly hit me. "Merlin, you said, '_my_ trip.'"

He turned to face me. "I'm sorry, but I won't be going with you. Not this time. Gaius gave me an urgent errand to run—vital supplies that I can't procure here."

I was still confused; he looked _sad_. _Was he telling the truth?_ "'Vital supplies'?"

"Yes. It's . . ."

I looked away. _Does he not want to come? Is he scared?_ This . . . _rejection_ hurts. "No, no. It's all right. It's good. I get it." _But he _always_ comes with me_.

"Arthur . . ."

"You know, Merlin, when I made fun of for you being a coward . . . I didn't really mean it." _Why does he look so devastated?_ But _I_ was devastated, so I lashed out. ". . . I've always felt you were the bravest man I know. Guess I was wrong." I turned and walked away; I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. He'd go off to get his "supplies" and I'd go to war. _Without_ him for the _only_ time in recent memory.

xxxXxxx

Merlin helped me dress, then left. Off to do whatever it was that was more important than being by my side. I gathered up my things and walked down to the courtyard. Most of the knights were there already, preparing to leave.

"Arthur!" I turned at my wife's voice. She was walking toward me.

"Guinevere. What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going with you." _Like it was obvious_.

"The front line is no place for a Queen." _Please stay home_.

"I don't intend to join you _there_, I promise you. Arthur, if these days will be your last, I would much rather spend them _together_ than sit around, waiting for a man that I may never see again." I held out my hand. She took it between both of hers and smiled tentatively. I smiled to reassure her that I was fine with her coming. It wasn't like I could stop her anyway.

xxxXxxx

We moved quickly, but wouldn't make it to Camlann by nightfall. So we stopped before then to make camp; tomorrow's ride would be long so we needed plenty of rest. As everyone set up, I walked around, giving encouragement here and there. After I'd gone round once, I went back to where Gwen and Gaius sat next to a fire. Gaius was mixing something together; it was _weird_ seeing him without Merlin.

"Vital supplies," I said.

Gaius looked up from his mixing. "What was that, sire?"

"It's a shame Merlin didn't want to come with us." I was slightly accusing.

"I'm sorry Sire; I take the blame for that." He looked at Guinevere. She looked as skeptical as I felt. "But I cannot care for the injured without adequate medicine. The timing is regrettable, I know."

"Yes. Regrettable, as you say." I walked away. He probably didn't deserve the blame I was laying on him, but he seemed all too willing to take it. I didn't believe him; for whatever reason, he was covering for Merlin. I was going to find out, whatever it took.

xxxXxxx

We made it to Camlann very late in the day. I rode up the pass a ways with a group of knights. After a couple minutes I held up my hand to halt everyone. With dread, we took in the dead area before us. "Here is it. Camlann. The future of this land will be determined here." I directed the men behind me without looking away from what was in front of me. "Set up camp. Let's get into position."

"Sire—it's a death trap," Leon said.

"That's the plan."

"Morgana will have no way to flee. But we won't either."

"They'll constantly outflank us. This is the only option we have." This time I looked at Leon. "We finish it here, Leon. Be it life or death, it ends here."

xxxXxxx

The camp was set up before dinner was finished cooking. After dinner, I sat in my tent, thinking and enjoying the relative quiet. Maps and plans sat in front of me, but I'd already reviewed them too many times. Guinevere stepped in front of me and smiled; I let myself be distracted by her. I looked up to see her leaning on one of the tent's support poles. She was giving me the "something's bothering you" look.

"What troubles you?" she asked.

I felt so wrung out. "What if Leon was right? Maybe we should've met them at Camelot."

She walked up to the table and placed her hands on it. "Your plan is daring and courageous; it's our only opportunity to defeat Morgana forever. _Of course_ we could have confronted them at the Citadel, but for how long? And what would it cost the kingdom? I've never doubted the courage and prudence of this choice."

She was right, as usual. I stood and walked around the table to her. "If you don't doubt me, then how can I doubt myself?" I took her hands and she held mine tightly. "That makes me feel stronger than any weapon." I put my arms around her; she kissed my cheek before doing the same. I don't know which one of us clung tighter, and I was very glad she'd come. Her presence soothed the sting of my missing servant—friend.

"Come, we should rest while we have the chance." I surprised her by picking her up and carrying her to the bed. She giggled adorably. I was determined to enjoy my time with her.

xxxXxxx

I was dreaming, I knew that much. Something bland, something I wouldn't remember later. But then it changed; I heard a familiar voice say my name. It was quiet at first, but increased in loudness and intensity the more I focused on it. "_Arthur, I apologize for leaving you. I didn't want to. One day I hope you'll realize why. Your strategy is an excellent one and you will probably save this kingdom, but you must be wary. Your army's flank is in danger. There's another trail over the ridge of Camlann, and Morgana is aware of it. She intends to ambush you, Arthur. Find the trail or the fight will be over before it's begun. Find the trail!_"

_Merlin?_ I opened my eyes and leaned up, moving and waking Guinevere in the process. I was confused—Merlin wasn't there, but . . .

"What's wrong?" Guinevere asked.

"Merlin."

"Arthur, it was a dream. Only a dream." _She didn't know_.

"But it didn't feel like that. It felt . . ." What he'd said flashed into my mind. I threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. _We're under attack_.

"Arthur!" she yelled after me, understandably confused and concerned.

I threw on another shirt and ran out of the tent. Leon saw me and hurried over. "Sire, our scouts just informed me that Morgana's men are marching." _It was real_—wherever Merlin was, he'd warned me.

"She'll attack us before the night is over. Let our men know to make ready."

"Yes, Sire!"

"Percival! Gwaine!" They heard me and came toward me. "Take several men to our rear." I pointed the way. "Look for an obscure trail running over the mountain. She means to bypass us; we need to stop her _now_." They moved on it right away and were soon gone.

I grabbed a passing servant and pulled him into my tent to dress me. Guinevere was already dressed. I explained what was happening. She nodded in understanding without asking many questions. She left immediately to rouse Gaius so they could set up the field hospital. When I had all my armor on, I stood in front of the army. They'd assembled quickly considering it was the middle of the night.

"Tonight . . . we fight. Tonight we will end this war; a war as ancient as the land itself. We fight against greed, oppression, and malice. Some will not greet the dawn, some will live and some will die. But every one of you fights with honor and with dignity. We not only fight for our lives, we fight for the future. The future of Camelot, Albion and the united kingdoms." I lifted Excalibur into the air; it was the sword Merlin had set on that table for me. I was pretty sure it had been for some reason only he knew. "For the love of Camelot!"

Everyone before me raised their weapons and answered: "For the love of Camelot!"

I turned to watch for the approaching army. It did not take long for Morgana's Saxons to arrive. Our two armies stood facing each other for a few minutes. The Saxons beat their shields menacingly, but they could not faze us. After the tension had mounted to an unbelievable level, I drew my sword and held it aloft. I yelled, "On me!" and we charged at the Saxons. The Saxons charged back and the battle began.

From then on, the pass was filled with the sounds of battle—shouts, screams, roars, metal striking metal, and the pleading of the dying. Every second was consumed by a never-ending dance—slice, dodge, parry, thrust, duck, kick, impale, punch . . . I faced Saxon after Saxon. I was fighting, but it seemed I was also looking for something. _Morgana?_ Something kept pulling me toward it, and I had no doubt I'd soon find it.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I aim to have the second part up tomorrow; it will be a whopper of a chapter, nearly 6K words. But it was a whopper of an episode, wasn't it? :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Here it is, the very last installment of _In Arthur's Head_. It's been quite a fun ride, taking over a year and exploring how Arthur matured. Maybe sometime I'll go back and "do" more episodes, but I've got many other projects clamoring for attention. I invite you to read my other works and whatever may come in the future!**

**Freedom to Rarity- Sorry, I'm going to disappoint you. But I hope I did it with style! :)**

**Linorien- Aww, thank you! :D**

**Mika271170- Thank you! Aww, make sure you have tissues nearby. You're a rock star for reviewing so often! :D**

* * *

I paused when I heard a screech. It was like a carrion-call, but much worse because it was _familiar_; Morgana had unleashed her dragon. I looked up and spotted it right away; it swooped down and spat fire at my forces, though most managed to duck in time to avoid it. It was frightening, but it wasn't going to stop _me_.

The battle continued. By now, most of the less-experienced had fallen. Those left were lethal, battle-hardened veterans. And they wouldn't be so easy to beat. I'd defeated two Saxons only to look up and see a group of them charge at me. I raised my sword defensively and started to swing. But before they could attack, a blast of lightning knocked them backwards. Another group came at me from my other side, but _they_ were also struck down. I glanced around and saw something at the top of the nearby cliff. I couldn't be sure in the waning dark, but it looked like the sorcerer who'd tried to heal my father. We stared at each other for a moment. He raised his staff and struck down another group of Saxons approaching me that I hadn't seen.

I heard a female-sounding shout followed by another lightning strike. _Had the sorcerer just taken down Morgana?_ I watched as he struck more enemies down; then the dragon screeched again. _Could he handle that too?_ He opened his mouth and roared in a language I'd never heard before, "**_Nun de ge dei s'eikein kai emois epe'essin hepesthai! Weas!_**" It rang through the sky. I don't know what it was _supposed_ to do, but the dragon halted its attack in mid-air and flew away, screeching in protest.

I stared up at the sorcerer for another moment. It was hard to imagine, but the proof was literally right in front of me—a sorcerer was fighting _for_ Camelot. I turned to the knights behind me and raised my sword again. "For the love of Camelot!" I yelled. I swung the sword around and turned to charge after the Saxons. I heard another lightning strike—_was that the sorcerer's answer to my call?_ But the Saxons were suddenly retreating.

I dispatched a Saxon who'd been brave enough to stand his ground, then looked around; I was the only one standing. One of my knights raised his arm and I ran to him. But just as I'd gotten to him, he died. I felt a presence behind me—it was that strange pull again, but much closer. I heard the sound of a sword scraping over the ground, but didn't let on that I'd heard. A moment later I moved fluidly from kneeling to standing, turning and blocking the attack in the process. I moved to stab my opponent, but stopped when I realized it was Mordred. He stared back for a moment then stabbed my side and immediately withdrew his sword. _Pain_ like nothing I'd ever felt before lanced through my body. I remained standing for a moment, staring at him until shock hit me and I fell to one knee.

Mordred looked down at me like he'd finally proven something. "You left me no choice," he said quietly. It hurt that he felt that way; part of me really wanted to go back and change my ruling. But it was too late. He couldn't be allowed to support Morgana. I found the strength to lunge up and impale Mordred in one move. I grabbed at his mail for support and we stared at each other for a long moment. Then I twisted the sword while pushing it further through him. When I withdrew it, he _smiled_ at me. The light left his eyes and I let him fall. I turned and started to walk away, putting my hand over the wound, but went down. I managed to crawl over to the rock wall before collapsing against it. The world went dark.

xxxXxxx

When I shuddered awake, it was dark. _But hadn't it just dawned?_ I was still leaning against something, but it wasn't rock, and _oh, the pain!_ I also saw a campfire and Merlin sitting on its other side. I was surprised to see him, but _so_ glad. "Merlin," I said.

That got his attention and he got up to come to me. "How do you feel?" he asked.

I tried to sit up, but a fierce stab of pain prevented me. "Ah, ah!" I grabbed his shoulder. He put a hand on my shoulder to stop me moving.

He moved that hand back to my wrist and put his other on my shoulder. To support or restrain me, I guessed. "Lie back. _Lie back_."

"Where have you been?" I managed to gasp out.

"It's of no matter now." _He sounded subdued_.

"Ah, my side . . . my side."

Merlin glanced at the wound. "You _are_ bleeding."

_No, really_? "That's okay. I feel like I'm dying."

He ignored the joke. "I'm so sorry. I believed I'd defied the prophecy." I looked at him—_what the hell was he saying?_ "I thought I'd made it in time."

"What are you saying?"

"I vanquished the Saxons and the dragon. But . . . But I _knew_ it was Mordred that I had to stop." I patted him on the shoulder; he was obviously distressed and talking nonsense.

"The sorcerer defeated them, not you."

His face crumpled. "It was me." He gripped my wrist as if holding on for dear life, and started _crying_.

_I'm still missing something_. "Don't be absurd, Merlin." I looked back at him; he was too serious to be making up a story. "This is dumb; why would you say that?"

"I'm a . . ." he started, but the tears overwhelmed him. He pointed to himself and sniffed before trying again. "I'm a sorcerer. I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur. Only for you." He let go of me then.

I moved my hand to his chest. "Merlin, you can't be a sorcerer. I would _know_!"

"Look here." He put his hand back on my shoulder and turned his head toward the fire. Then he raised his hand to the fire. I lifted my head while he whispered, "_Upastige draca!_" A moving dragon formed from the flames then dissipated. He looked back at me for my reaction.

I didn't quite know what to do. If he was telling the truth about everything, he was incredibly powerful. _He'd decimated the Saxon army by himself!_ I felt shock, awe, gratitude, fear, and betrayal. The last one stuck. "Go away."

He removed his hand but protested. "Arthur!"

"No. Just . . . go! Just . . ." He pulled back, shocked and devastated. He finally got up and walked away. I watched him go. I had to think, I had to . . . not think. But I wasn't going to talk to him anytime soon.

xxxXxxx

It was morning, but I can't recall if I slept or not, which probably means I did. Merlin sat with his back to me, in the same place he'd sat after I told him to _go away_. The feeling of betrayal hadn't decreased at all, and I wondered how I'd make it through the day without speaking to him. It felt unnatural.

Just as I'd thought that, Gaius came walking into our campsite. _What a relief!_ I heard Merlin stand as Gaius walked past him. I pretended to still be asleep; who knows what I'd hear?

"Any change?" Gaius asked.

There was a quiet "No."

"I'll check." Gaius came over to me.

"This is all you got?" _All of what?_

"The hills are swarming with Saxons." _I'll bet they are_.

"There's no yarrow, no lady's mantle." _Oh, herbs_.

"I got comfrey."

"You should've gotten sticklewort. There should've been sticklewort." He sounded quite upset. And since when did he give _Gaius_ orders?

"Merlin, please go water the horses. Make sure they're fed too; we can't hide here for long." _Yes, get rid of him!_

I heard Merlin leave and cracked my eyes open to make sure. I grabbed Gaius's robe; he jumped. "He's a sorcerer," I told him. Gaius didn't look surprised enough and didn't reply. I let go of him and lay back. "You knew."

"Arthur, he's your _friend_."

_Was_. "I would like him to leave."

"You don't have to fear him."

_Good guess_. "Send him to Camelot with a message for Guinevere."

"You _can't_ send him. I will go."

"I don't need a sorcerer; I need a physician." I looked away.

"He can do _much_ more than I can, much more than you could ever dream." He bent closer to get my attention. "Arthur, he doesn't _just_ have magic . . . many people say he's the greatest sorcerer to ever live."

_He can't be serious_. "_Merlin?_"

"If you want to live, you'll need _Merlin_ to help you, not me."

I stared off in the direction Merlin had gone. Now that I knew this, how did I feel? _Utterly confused_.

Gaius got up and walked over to Merlin. I heard them conversing quietly for a while and closed my eyes. Apparently I had to trust Merlin if I wanted to live. Neither man had said so, but I had a feeling that this wound would kill me sooner rather than later. Is living worth the risk of spending time alone with a sorcerer? That's what it came down to—trust or die.

A little while later, I heard Merlin walk up to me. I didn't acknowledge him until he said my name. I turned my head toward him. "We have to leave at sunrise," he said.

"I'll decide," I replied. I wasn't going to make this easy for him

"I won't let you die."

He _sounded_ like the Merlin I knew; I looked up at him. "It changes nothing." I looked away again and closed my eyes.

Gaius spoke up, "Let him rest. It's late." Merlin walked over to Gaius and they talked briefly. The world faded as I welcomed sleep.

xxxXxxx

I woke to the familiar feeling of Merlin gently shaking me awake. I reflexively started to tell him to go away before I realized I wasn't in my bed at Camelot. And he was a lying sorcerer about to cart me somewhere to be healed by fairies. _Ha_. _Fairies_. Sure.

Gaius fed me breakfast. Then he and Merlin helped me stand, which caused a horrific amount of pain. But I had to get to my horse somehow. He slowly pushed me upright on the horse then backed away.

I remembered something then and took the leather string off from around my neck. "Gaius," I said. The physician walked up to me. "Give this to Guinevere." I placed the necklace in Gaius's hand.

He looked down at it, surprised. "It's the Royal Seal, sire."

"If I die I can't think of anyone I would rather succeed me." He placed his other hand on top of mine, nodded and walked over to Merlin.

They had another quiet conversation. Someone walked toward me— "Merlin," Gaius called. Merlin turned back and went to Gaius. I heard a few more whispered words before Merlin walked past me to take my horse's reins. I looked back at Gaius one more time while Merlin grabbed his horse's reins too and started walking. I had the oddest feeling that I wouldn't see Gaius again.

We'd gotten out of the woods before Merlin got on his horse. He kept the horses at a fast walk, probably to minimize my pain. I didn't think _anything_ could minimize my pain besides falling unconscious.

It was almost noon before we saw anyone else. We were riding on a plain and two other men on horseback were galloping our way. "Saxons," Merlin said. He dismounted and fiddled with something at the back of his saddle. Then he threw a blanket over me—_oh, to cover my armor_. "I'll handle them. Keep your head down and don't talk."

I grabbed the edges of the blanket and arranged it to hide my face. Merlin stepped away from me to wait for the Saxons. The hoof beats grew closer; Merlin waved his arms and shouted, "Help us! Please, we need help. We were ambushed."

I saw the Saxons dismount and walk towards us. "By whom?" one asked.

"Two men."

"What did they look like?"

"Um . . . one was . . . a knight." He glanced over at me and looked alarmed. "They raided our camp." He pointed to some smoke in the forest ahead of us. _When did he do that?_ The Saxons walked over to look at the smoke. Merlin came back to me and covered Excalibur's hilt.

The Saxons turned back around. "You're certain it was a Camelot knight?"

"Yeah."

The bald one didn't believe Merlin. He pushed Merlin back as he walked forward, then yanked the blanket off of me. The Saxons drew their swords, but before they could attack us, Merlin raised his hands and magically threw them. _His eyes glowed!_ I didn't think they'd be getting up anytime soon.

_Fear warred with betrayal_. "You've lied to me from the beginning."

Merlin didn't say anything. I wanted him to—I wanted to _fight_. But he refused to take the bait. Instead, he pulled on my horse's reins to get it moving again. He mounted his horse again and we were off.

Near sunset, Merlin declared it was time to stop for the night. I rolled my eyes, but since he was the ambulatory one, he was going to get his way whether I liked it or not. He helped me dismount and propped me up against a tree. Then he unpacked the horses and took care of them. Finally he got around to building a fire and tried to light it with flint.

I watched him try and fail repeatedly. I didn't want to point out the obvious to the big, bad sorcerer, but it looked like I needed to if I wanted warmth before tomorrow. "How come you don't use magic?"

"Habit, I guess," he replied. He turned to look at me, as if seeking my permission. I nodded. He turned back and started the fire without a word. "Feels weird."

"Yeah." _Doubly so for me_. He got up and walked to where he'd put the bags. "I thought I knew you."

He picked up a blanket and turned back to me. "I'm still me." He unrolled the blanket next to me.

"I trusted you."

He looked up. "I'm sorry."

_Hmph_. "I'm sorry too." To my surprise, he came over and took off my boots. _Huh?_ "What're you doing?"

"They need to dry," he explained, and set them by the fire. Then he went to his blanket and lay down to sleep. He said nothing else to me for the rest of the night.

I couldn't figure him out. He was a sorcerer and all sorcerers are _evil_; that's what I'd been taught. But I've known him for almost a decade, and he's never done _anything_ evil. He hates killing animals, for crying out loud. Oh, and crying. _That's_ not evil either. _And_ I'm still alive; he's never hurt me _on purpose_. Then there's what Gaius said—he's the most powerful sorcerer ever. If he's that powerful, how is he not correspondingly evil or mad? He could probably tear down Camelot brick by brick, but here he is _taking off my boots_. Why bother being a servant when you could be a king or more?

I probably should just ask him. It's been twenty-four hours since he told me his secret, and not once has he tried to kill me. I'm probably safe, and I'm definitely curious.

xxxXxxx

I don't know how long I slept, but I woke to Merlin fumbling around with cooking utensils. _I guess the clumsiness _wasn't_ a lie_. When he finished cooking, he filled a bowl and brought it over to me. He knelt down and put a hand behind my head to support it. It's humiliating to be spoon-fed. "This will help you. You need to _eat_," he said.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked rudely; _I hated being weak!_ He looked hurt and put the spoon back in the bowl. I clarified, "Why are you still acting like a servant?"

Merlin set the bowl down. "Serving you is my destiny. It has been from the moment we met."

_He really believes that?_ "I tried to hurt you with a mace."

"And I used magic to stop you." He was almost smiling.

"You cheated."

He laughed a little. "You wanted to kill me."

"I should've." I turned away.

"I'm thankful you didn't. I do this because of _who_ you are." I looked up at him again. "Camelot's nothing without you."

_No_. "Maybe that was true once, but not now. There are quite a few who could fill the crown."

"There'll never be any more like you, Arthur." He smiled and picked up the bowl. "Now, I also do this . . ." He lifted my head again, but I ate his offering. ". . . Because you're my friend and I don't want you to die."

After we ate, Merlin packed everything up again and put out the fire. He maneuvered me back onto my horse—it was a struggle to not slump over into its mane, but I felt secure enough. Maybe he was using a bit of magic to keep me from falling off.

After a couple hours of painful riding, we took a break. There was a nice fallen tree to sit on; Merlin got me down again and helped me walk over to sit on it. He went back to his horse to get a water skin. I began slumping further and further into myself until I was in danger of falling to the ground.

He must have seen me, because he came running over. "Arthur, you have to hang on. One more day." He sat at my side, looped his arm around mine and pulled me up to a stable posture. "One more day," he said and wiped my head with a cloth. Then he put that away and started opening the water skin.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked. The betrayal had simmered down into hurt.

"I wanted to, but . . ."

"What?"

"You'd have cut off my head." He tilted the water skin into my mouth.

_I suppose that was a possibility, but_ . . . "I don't know what I would've done."

"And I had no wish to put you in that position."

I turned to really look at him. _That's deep_. "That's what troubled you?"

"Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me, I was born to serve you, Arthur. And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing." _After all this time and everything that's been revealed, he _still_ felt like that?_ Probably the only time I've been right about him was after that mace fight, when I felt there was something about him. "Ready?" he asked, breaking into my thoughts. He put my arm over his shoulders and helped me up and back to the horses.

Merlin led the way again as we got going. I suppose that was wise, since I was the defenseless one for once. We'd gone a ways into the forest when he held up his hand to stop us. There was smoke billowing up ahead.

"Saxons?" I asked.

He seemed to become extra focused for a few moments then said, "They've moved on."

_He seems sure_. "How do you know?"

"I can 'see' the way forward."

_Well, okay then_. "So you're not stupid. That was one more lie."

"No, it's just one more bit of my charm." He smiled briefly and we continued our trek.

Not too long later, we heard shouting somewhere close by. Merlin halted us again, which caused me to look up. Saxons, probably.

He looked around and finally decided. "In there," he said, and we turned our horses to our right; to a secluded area off the path. We dismounted and hid just before three Saxons on horseback came up the path. I leaned against a tree while Merlin watched from behind another one. He saw a hoof print that we left behind in the mud. "_Andslyht._" A small wind blew leaves across the print. The Saxons stopped to look around, but Merlin made bushes rustle to their right.

"This way," one said, and all three rode off in the false direction.

"This isn't new to you," I commented. He glanced back at me then back to watch the Saxons. "All this time, Merlin . . . You never once asked for recognition."

"That's not why I do it. Let's go." He put my arm over his shoulders again and helped me to our horses.

The longer we rode, the more the pain grew. It seemed to be draining not only my energy but my will to live. By dusk I'd slouched into my horse's mane. Merlin must have looked back at me and seen me like this. I heard him cry, "Arthur!"And before I knew it, my horse had stopped.

"I can't continue," I told him. It was a plea to end the pain.

He seemed to understand. "We don't have far to go. But we must get to the lake before sunrise."

I shook my head weakly. "No, Merlin. _No_."

"Well okay then. We'll rest for one hour."

He helped me down from my horse again, and propped me against a fallen branch. He got a fire going then brought the water skin over. I had to tell him a few things; what I've been thinking all day long. "Merlin," I started, and he leaned closer, "whatever happens . . ."

"Shh . . . don't speak."

_Ha_. "I'm the King, Merlin. You don't tell me what to do."

He made an amused sound. "I always have. I won't change now."

_Why would he?_ "I don't want you to change. I want you . . . to always . . . be _you_." What I wanted to say next would be really hard for me—I had to swallow my pride. "I apologize for how I treated you."

He looked surprised; then my head fell. He made a noise and I lifted it up. "So you're gonna give me a day off?"

"Two." _He did deserve it._

He smiled. "That's generous." My head lolled down again. Merlin checked my pulse and said, "Now rest."

It seemed like only a minute later when he woke me up. "Arthur. We have to get going." _Huh? Tired_. But he had the nerve to shake me. "Arthur. We've dallied long enough." He helped me to my horse again. This time I'm _positive_ he used magic to keep me from falling.

It was still dark when we stopped again. He basically carried me forward to another log and sat me down against it. He nodded to the view ahead of us, into the distance. "Avalon. We'll make it."

Just then, something spooked the horses and they ran off. Merlin got up and tried to stop them, "Whoa, whoa, whoa." He stopped suddenly; Morgana was right there.

"Hello, Emrys," she said. _Emrys?_ He tried to turn back to me, but she threw him several yards. I attempted to reach Excalibur, but I was too weak. "How wonderful it is to see you, Arthur. Look at you, not so high and mighty now." She crouched down next to me. "You may have won the battle, but you'll lose the war. Mordred has killed you. But don't fret, dear brother, you won't die alone. I'll stay and look after you," Suddenly Merlin appeared behind Morgana and drew Excalibur quietly. "Until the wolves gorge on your corpse and roll in your blood."

"No," Merlin said. Morgana whipped her head around and they both stood. "This bloodshed must stop. I blame myself for what you've become . . . but this has to end."

"I am a High Priestess. No mortal blade can kill me," she said arrogantly. Merlin simply stabbed her. She shrieked and started sliding to the ground but he held her up. I watched, unsure how I should feel about all this.

"This is no mortal blade. It was forged in a dragon's breath like yours." He twisted the blade and she gasped. Her legs buckled then, but he caught her and lowered her to the ground, withdrawing the sword in the process. "Goodbye, Morgana." She drew one more breath and was gone. Merlin stepped around her to help me up again.

"You've finally brought peace."

"Arthur." He hefted me up and supported me as we walked. I had the presence of mind to grab Excalibur and dragged it behind me. When we got through the trees he said, "Hurry up. We have to make it to the lake."

_I wasn't going to make it_. I collapsed to the ground and unfortunately landed on Merlin. "Merlin . . . we need the horses. We can't— it's too late. Too late." So much _pain_—not all of it physical.

"No."

"Merlin, all your magic can't heal me."

"I _can_. I won't lose you." He struggled to stand with me, but it was obvious he wasn't strong enough to lift me.

I patted his hand; it was all I could move. "Just—please, just hold me." He ceased struggling and his breathing slowed. My head settled to rest next to his shoulder. "I want to say something. . ."

"You can't say goodbye."

I'd rolled my eyes over to look at him. "No, Merlin . . . I know now, everything you've done . . . For me _and_ Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build . . ."

"You didn't need my help."

"Perhaps. I would like to say . . . something I've rarely said to you before . . ." I managed to turn my head a bit more and look into his eyes. "Thank you." I found strength to reach up and touch him on the back of his head. Then it was gone; my hand fell and my eyes closed without my permission.

"Arthur . . . No! Arthur!" I heard him say, and felt him check my pulse. "Arthur! Arthur. Wake up." I tried to open my eyes, I really did. But the blackness was pain free. I felt him try to move me but he couldn't. He said "_no!_" and yelled other things, but I was beyond comprehension. There were other sounds and odd sensations, but I gave myself to the blackness.

There was a light and a strange tugging sensation, and I was _free_. I felt no more pain and I could _see_; and what I could see was _amazing_. Merlin looked shattered, but a _dragon_ was talking to him. The dragon I was supposed to have killed. I should have felt upset by that, but didn't. I just listened.

"Merlin. There is nothing you can do," the dragon said.

"I've failed?"

"No, young warlock, for everything you have dreamed of building has come about." _It has?_

"I can't lose him! He's my _friend_!" _He looked so upset—for the first time I wanted to hug him._

"No man, no matter how great, can comprehend his destiny, but _some_ lives have been prophesied, Merlin . . . Arthur isn't merely a King—he is the Once and Future King. Have courage, for when Albion's need is dire, Arthur will rise again." _Really? How? When?_ "It has been an honor to have known you, young warlock—the tale of which we've been a part will live long in the minds of men."

The dragon flew away while Merlin watched. He lowered me to the ground. It was odd to think of myself as something "other." Then he picked up Excalibur, examined it briefly and threw it into the lake with a small cry. But instead of sinking, an arm rose from the lake. The hand caught Excalibur and sunk back into the water.

He turned back to me. He picked an enormous amount of rushes and laid them on the bottom of the boat that was just _there_. Then he lifted me with the aid of magic and laid me in the boat. He arranged my cloak nicely and folded my hands over my chest. But he paused after he'd placed a hand on my forehead; he broke down crying for a few minutes. Like _his_ soul had been wrenched from his body.

He removed his hand and stood there, struggling for control. Finally he took a deep breath as if he'd resolved something inside, and stopped crying. "Arthur. _In sibbe gereste_." The boat set off on the lake, drifting to the island in the center. He watched it and resumed weeping.

Eventually he collapsed to the ground. He curled into a ball and surrendered to the grief. When the tears ran out, he got up slowly and walked back to where we'd left Morgana. He crouched down next to her head and stroked her hair a bit while murmuring words I couldn't hear. After a few minutes, he stood and magically scooped a big mound of dirt from the ground. He lifted Morgana into the hole and smoothed the dirt over her. I heard him clearly when he said, "_In sibbe gereste_," again.

He sat for a few minutes until the sound of hoof beats startled him into standing. It was Percival, but his warning about Morgana was too late, of course. They traded stories. Gwaine had been tortured to death by Morgana. _That hurt_. When Merlin told him about me, tears ran from both sets of eyes. Percival put a hand on Merlin's shoulder and they stood like that for a while. He asked if Merlin was coming back to Camelot, but the warlock shook his head. He told him he needed time away and may or may not return. Percival nodded in understanding. They spoke for a few more minutes before Percival re-mounted his horse and left.

Merlin began walking in the general direction of Ealdor. I got the feeling he'd never return to Camelot. There'd be too many memories.

I blinked and found myself in the throne room at Camelot. Guinevere sat in the single throne on the dais. She wore her beautiful crown and Pendragon-red dress and looked fragile but strong at the same time. She was looking down at what she held in her hands—the Royal Seal.

Leon stood beside her. She lifted her head, looked at him and gave him a slight nod. The knights, the council, the royal household, and the court members looked up at her.

Leon looked out over the people and solemnly said, "The King is dead." Gaius and Guinevere shared a glance and she looked back at Leon, who said, "Long live the Queen!"

The entire hall echoed the cry: "Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!" She looked out at our- _her_ -people standing before her. _Oh Guinevere_ . . .

When I blinked next, I found myself alone in a beautiful garden. I heard several sets of footsteps and turned. Several people approached me on every side—Morgana, Gwaine, Father, Mother, Elyan, Lancelot . . . and they all looked healthy and happy. We conversed and I learned _so_ much. Everything suddenly made sense. Over time, I met others in Avalon.

When I wasn't learning or spending time with others, I watched the outside world. I watched as Guinevere and the others grew old, and one by one, joined me in Avalon. But there was one who never joined me there, though he pretended to age.

I watched Merlin wander the world as it figuratively grew bigger and bigger. Dynasties rose and fell, and he helped whatever righteous causes he could. Many things he did or said sparked the Enlightenment—knowledge spread over the world. Technology grew more and more advanced, and monarchies faded into the background as governments based on politics older than Camelot came to life.

But every now and then, the old-young man returned to the shores of Avalon. I knew what he was looking for. _Waiting_ for. And every time I wanted to call out to him, plead for him to remember and not give up. And he never did give up. Someday when he passed by the lake, I'd be there waiting for him. I'd call him "idiot," he'd call me "prat" and we'd set off to save Albion. _Again. Together_.

* * *

**To everyone- thank you so much for reading and putting up with the wait times! I'll catcha ya around FF! :D**


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